by Sparkles29
This story is so promising, won't you please continue it to a satisfying end?
really great story so far ..really want to know more..can't wait to find out what happens between them.
Good groundwork. Can be built upon nicely. Can't wait to see how it goes from here. Though, admittedly, it lacks proper usage of grammar and punctuation. Well, at least it is a good start and not trashy. All in all, pretty decent for a first write.
(there's always a but)... I'm afraid the other reader is right - an editor might be helpful. I think your main problem is run-on sentences, of which there are many. It makes for a distracting read. But otherwise, a fine start!
I absolutely adore pirate stories, as not many authors finish theirs, so please finish yours.
You need an editor for sure. It's hard to read when your grammar are all out of place.