The Pleasure Boy 23

Of course, I had to teach her about the uses of safe words - to establish clearly what they would mean, and to respect them absolutely when they are used. I taught her the basic 'green, amber, red' system and the importance of encouraging her subs to use it freely.

But the most difficult point to get across was that real subs (like me) did not just find some pain both sensuous and pleasurable, but actually desired and needed to be punished when they failed or did wrong. and that it was OK for her to enjoy giving them the pain they needed.

The first part was relatively straight-forward. To teach her that pain could be pleasurable, I first persuaded her to come across my lap for the most erotic spanking I could give. With a combination of caresses and slaps on her bare tush and vulva, I readily got her wet and eventually got her to cum. A couple of times, I got her to visit Lotte's dungeon for a master class on pleasure-pain which Lotte gave her at my request, (giving me the professional discount off her regular rate.

The second part - my desire and need to be punished when I deserved it, well beyond what I could find pleasurable - was harder to explain. I only learned it myself as an outcome of Lotte's training. In a nutshell, what I learned from Mitch and Lotte, and then from Lisa too, was that because our relationship was so important to me, their displeasure was more painful than any punishment they might inflict. Society does not have such a relationship with most of the criminals it seeks to punish, but I definitely did have such a relationship with the Guild, with a few significant people, and now with Natasha as well. To mend those relationships when needed, I would welcome quite severe punishment to 'clear the air' and set things right.

It was not even necessary that I be punished and consciously forgiven by the one I had offended. That was why I kept a journal and punishment book, as Mitch had taught me, and could have myself corrected by any qualified punitor or punitrix - anyone who had been trained to administer just punishment to persons who deserved it.

A Dominant can play with any willing partner, but should never accept a lifestyle sub who does not appreciate just punishment as a real benefit and gift. Conversely, he or she must learn to use punishment appropriately with such a sub: not to inflict pain for its own sake, but to communicate love along with displeasure, and to re-balance and improve the relationship. After repeated explanations, Natasha finally understood this when she made the connection with her experience as a teacher. Bad students keep their heads down to avoid being called on. Good ones accept to have their errors corrected, but demand to be convinced that some belief is wrong. They respect authority, but don't accept it unquestioningly. In this same way, the good submissive accepts punishment out of desire for the relationship and his respect for the Domme's authority. But he will require that she deserve that authority. If she does not, he will seek a Mistress who does.

The remainder of my last undergraduate semester passed quickly. I worked hard in Sorkin's course, and got an 'A' for a senior's thesis that I wrote on 'The Role and History of Slavery in pre-modern Eurasia.' This was very different from the race-based slavery typical of the southern United States. Cruel as it surely was, it was much more significant both culturally and economically than we tend to think. It prevailed throughout the ancient world, until the Industrial Revolution, while muscle-power, animal or human, was almost the only power that could do useful work.

Of course, Prof. Sorkin's course was not the only one I was taking. In the history department, I was taking a course on the political configuration of Eastern Europe - from Finland in the north to the Balkans and Greece in the south - as the unstable frontier zone between Europe and Asia. And I worked hard in two advanced language classes: one in Russian and the other in Turkish. Planning for collaboration with Prof. Sorkin who'd made a study of the Mongol language family, I would need both to work with her on the history and current situation of Central Asia.

At the same time, I tried to pick up smatterings of Arabic and Mandarin Chinese just to be able to travel in those places. I'd already learned that just six words of a country's language are incredibly better than none at all when you're trying to get around there. With no words of the local tongue, the natives see you as a dumb animal. If you can say and understand just 'please,' 'thank you,' 'you're welcome, 'which way to . . .?,' 'when?,' and 'how much,?' you're already a human being.

My increasing involvement with Natasha Sorkin forced some changes in the rest of my life. I had to give up my work in Master Tom's dungeon when Natasha told me that she would not allow me to touch her sexually if I was getting fucked regularly by other men. Also, my Friday nights became a bone of contention. Those were the times when Natasha liked to see me, but they were also the time-slots when my services as an escort were most in demand. In the end, I had to make a rule with her that my weekends, from Friday evening to Monday morning were reserved for escort gigs. There would be exceptions when I was free; but on week-ends, Allard Inc. would have first call on my services. At other times, when not in class, I was at her beck and call, provided she left me enough time for my course work. She was good about this, so we had few problems. Often I would have to tell her that I didn't have time for something that she wanted. Very occasionally, she might tell me that I didn't need to do something that I thought I did. Then we might discuss the point briefly. But she mostly deferred to my judgment in these cases, knowing that I did my best to oblige her when I could. In this way, she managed to get useful work out of me, while leaving me time to study and earn the money I needed after the help I got from my father.

In my last semester as an undergraduate, I applied to McGill as a grad student in history; and, with Prof. Sorkin's recommendation, I was accepted. There was a suggestion from Student Guidance that after doing my Bach­elor's at McGill, it would be better to do my graduate work elsewhere; but when they understood my reasons for wanting to stay in Montreal, that objection was dropped.

Prof. Sorkin used my senior's thesis on slavery in the ancient world to apply for and win a small scholarship for me. It wasn't a lot of money, but it impressed my parents. My father offered to pay the balance of my tuition outright - not as an interest-free loan. I balked for awhile, but finally accepted when he said that he wanted me to be free to concentrate on my studies, and that I was insulting him by demanding to pay him back. It was clear, by now, that he was feeling my reluctance to accept his help much more than he would miss the money. Pride now would just hurt both of us.

At last graduation day came. I got to wear one of those funny square caps with a black academic gown. My parents came to the ceremony with Lisa to watch me get my diploma. My Mistress Natasha was part of the ceremony in her role as a professor, so she too watched me walk across the stage to accept a handshake and scroll. For me, the ceremony was almost redundant, as the important 'graduation' had happened several weeks before when I was formally accepted to grad school. Still it was a milestone worth celebrating. My parents marked it by taking Natasha and me out for dinner that night, starting the meal with a bottle of fine champagne and ending it by hugging us both warmly and thanking Prof. Sorkin for her role in my life and my career. She looked embarrassed, and ill-at-ease that evening. I think the excited happiness of my Mom and Dad mostly showed her the parental love she'd never had. I felt sad for her, but there was nothing I could do.