The Real Thing Pt. 01

There was a pinging tone next to me. I was so deep in thought it startled me. The dildo remote. It pinged again. My trembling hand reached for the remote. It was fully charged. One hundred percent. It was ready to go now. Ready for when Mom got home and wanted to get off. Yes. Ready for Mom.

I took the dildo in my hands, unplugging the charge cable. Feeling it in my hands again made my heart thump, remembering last night. The ring shined at me, and my eyes immediately fell on Daddy's embossed name. My guts squirmed. It would be so easy to have that feeling again. I told myself it was no big deal. If I cleaned it Mom would never know. It would never actually matter unless I told her. The pee hole in the end seemed to stare at me like an accusing eye. This is what Daddy's looked like. I might as well have seen him naked now. The thought brought a blush and a tremble back to me.

I needed another distraction.

Amanda: Girl are you up yet?

Jenny: It's noon.

Amanda: And? Did you go out last night?

Jenny: Rick wanted to go drinking.

Amanda: But you didn't?

Jenny: It was fine

Amanda: And when he drinks...

Jenny: Yeah he went down on me again. You're never going to let me live that one down, are you?

Jenny: How about you? Hitting up any fuckboys in the old neighborhood?

Amanda: Gross. There's only creeps around here.

Amanda: But something did happen.

Jenny: Oh?

Amanda: I shouldn't tell you. It's private.

Amanda: Jenny?

Jenny: Hold on, let me catch my breath. I haven't had a good laugh like that in forever.

Amanda: Bitch

Jenny: I'm not the one teasing. Spill the tea. Bitch.

Amanda: Ok. But you have to promise not to judge.

Jenny: Who do you think you're talking to?

Amanda: Well. I found something.

Jenny: Your g-spot?

Amanda: When I was 13.

Amanda: Something hidden here.

Jenny: Ooh? Did Daddy hide pirate's gold in the backyard? I hear they're into that in Astoria.

Amanda: I'm not going to tell you if you're going to be mean.

Jenny: Ok, but just tell me.

Amanda: I found something of my Mom's.

Amanda: It was hidden in a box under the bed.

Jenny: OMG you found one of her toys.

Amanda: I swear I wasn't snooping. I had to plug my phone in.

Jenny: Whatever

Jenny: You've got a camera on that phone

Amanda: You know I can't

Jenny: Just imagine the look I'm giving you right now.

Amanda: Fine (attachment.jpeg)

Jenny: Ooh purple

Amanda: Shut up

Jenny: But there's more.

Amanda: Jenny, no!

Jenny: I know there is. Don't tell me you...

Jenny: You didn't!

Amanda: I forgot mine! I have to do it before I go to bed.

Jenny: Bruh... it was in your mom's pussy.

Jenny: Or your dad's ass.

Jenny: You cleaned it first, right?

Amanda: Don't be gross.

Jenny: So how was it?

Amanda: I'm gonna go now.

Jenny: I'm not going to let this go. You have to tell me later.

So much for having a distraction. I couldn't get the toy, Dylan, out of my mind. I hadn't put it away since I had it out last night. And there it was, in arm's reach. I wouldn't even have to move. The greatest pleasure I had ever felt right there literally at my fingertips. If it had been any other toy I would have it inside me already trembling as it touched my most intimate parts. I resisted using this one... why? Because it belonged to Mom. But I had been over that already. She's not using it, she wouldn't even know if I washed it.

I squirmed. Did I not want to use it because it was molded on Daddy's cock? What difference did it make? It was an inanimate object. Wanting it didn't mean that I was somehow infatuated with Daddy, even if I was curious what the real thing would feel like. This was crazy. I couldn't let myself think about my own dad this way.

If he were here now... well surely he would set me straight. Having him here in person would stave off any improper thoughts. He was always there when I felt like things were out of control. He was always the one who would hold my hand and steady my nerves and somehow make everything alright. At least he did when I was little. Once I got old enough I hid my problems. I even resented him and how he would treat me like a little girl. And being the loving, kind daddy that he was, he respected that and gave me room. I could tell it hurt him. But now things were different. I had been out on my own for a while and I needed him.

Amanda: Daddy

Amanda: Daddy, are you there?

He and Mom were busy for sure. It would be the mid afternoon there. They were probably snorkeling or having drinks or something like that. It was their second honeymoon. They were celebrating Daddy selling his fish and chips restaurant and retiring early. It would be selfish of me to get in the way, even if I wanted Daddy now.

My phone pinged. My heart leapt as I picked it up.

Daddy: I'm here, baby girl. What's wrong?

He could tell something was up even over text. I realized that I didn't know what I even wanted to say to him. Just like when I was little, I would come to him, not even understanding why I was so upset. But he always knew what to do to make me feel better. And I had thrown that all away. Tears of guilt and grief at what I had done and what I had lost welled up in my eyes.

Amanda: Daddy, I'm sorry

Daddy: Tell me what's wrong

Amanda: I don't know, Daddy.

Amanda: I just want you back.

Daddy: We still have six days of our trip left. I'm sorry

Now the hot tears were running down my face and my body shook with my remorse. The screen of my phone blurred. I wished that he was here next to me instead of thousands of miles away. But that's not really what I meant. I meant I wanted him back in my life. I wanted to be his little girl again.

Daddy: Amanda, I'm here for you now. Tell me

Amanda: I don't want to ruin your vacation

Daddy: I promise it won't. Besides, your mom and I are at the resort now. Dinner isn't for a couple of hours.

Daddy: Ok? So you need to tell me what's up.

Amanda: Idk. I just miss you.

Daddy: We can text everyday and you can call me whenever you want. The week will be over before you know it.

Daddy: Is it something else?

Amanda: I don't mean it like that.

I struggled to type the words. It sounded so foolish. I want to be your little girl again, Daddy. I want you to make everything better. Being out on my own was hard, college too. The academics of it weren't too challenging. It was just that I thought people would mature after high school. I thought people would stop teasing me. I thought I could get boys to notice me. Now my body heaved with my sobs. I was afraid to be too loud, even in the empty, echoing house.

Daddy: Being back in the old house brought back memories, didn't it?

Amanda: A little

Daddy: Baby Girl... I know we've grown a little distant.

Daddy: It was different when you were little. Things changed a lot when you got older. I don't know why.

Daddy: I just thought you needed your space is all. You're an adult now.

Amanda: Still your girl, Daddy.

There was a long pause. My body was a bundle of nerves and creaking soreness. All my hurt and guilt built up over the years spilled out. Was Daddy mad? I could often tell he was hurt and frustrated whenever I rejected him. But I needed him now. I was such a fool to throw away what we had. How could I not have seen it? He would have me back now, wouldn't he? I stared at my phone, my hands trembling.

Daddy: Princess, of course you're still Daddy's girl

Daddy: Sometimes when girls grow up they need to prove to their daddies that they're big and they don't need anyone.

Daddy: And now that you're a little older you're realizing that you really did need what we had. Is that right?

My smile beamed through my tears. Something between a sob and a laugh escaped my mouth. My heart twisted, both guilt ridden and elated that Daddy understood. He understood perfectly. This scenario had played out so many times when I was little and had an impossible problem. Now I could be little for Daddy again.

Amanda: Yes, Daddy

Amanda: Daddy I love you so much, I'm sorry

Daddy: Princess, I know you need me. I've been waiting so long for you to realize. When we get back, I'll be all yours. We can plan some fun stuff together.

This time I was caught off guard. I squirmed. The feeling this time was low down in my abdomen. My pussy was getting wet and tingling a little. My insides fluttered in excitement. He hadn't called me Princess in forever. He called me that in front of Grandma and Grandpa when I was fourteen and I got irate with him. I could tell that it had shocked him. He never called me Princess again. Until now.

Daddy: We'll talk later, ok? Your mom needs my attention too.

Amanda: Daddy! Don't tell her.

Daddy: Of course not, Princess.

My cheeks were cold with my drying tears. Daddy had understood. Of course he understood. There was nothing wrong now. I put Dylan in the box and slid it under the bed.

—

It caught my eye as I rose out of bed. There was a picture of Mom and Daddy on the bedside table. They were both young and smiling, with Daddy holding Mom in his arms like a groom taking his bride across the threshold. She held a cigarette in her fingers and her eyes squinted with her joy. They were at the beach somewhere and Daddy had just his swim trunks on.

You know, if I was a guy your age... Daddy looked to be about my age here. Maybe a little older. His muscles bulged supporting Mom's weight. He had that characteristic speck of hair in the middle of his chest. This was before I knocked the pain can over that chipped his front tooth. My cheeks felt hot. A little quiver started between my legs and spread out to the tips of my toes. He and Mom looked so happy there. I bet they had fucked that night. My heart pounded.

The night before had been unsatisfying. I awkwardly propped up my phone on the bed while I let my fingers work my clit over. The climax had come, but it was a pale imitation of Dylan. I couldn't help but think of it by that name now. And purple Dylan was a copy of the real thing. My eyes darted involuntarily to Daddy's crotch in the picture. Did I see the outline of his cock? Feeling mortified, I picked the picture up and held it close to my face. I couldn't tell.

But by then it was too late. My whole body quivered, wet and pumping and heaving. I rolled off the bed, my quaking, frantic hands reaching under it and seizing the object of my desire. I threw off the box lid. For a few seconds I just stared at it, my breath trembling. Dylan sat there, teasing me. Again, my eyes darted back to the picture. Images of Daddy entered my head unbidden.

I snatched it and my fingers flew across the controls, clumsy in my haste. It took me a few tries to get the setting right. It felt like an eternity. So did pulling my clothes off. I almost tore my purple solar system panties.

I gripped the phallus in my hands and I pushed it into me. Going in this fast hurt, and I jerked and moaned with the confluence of pleasure and pain. Just feeling it penetrating me was enough, and I felt my vocal cords tighten as I forced a savage groan out. This time my body bursted with energy, every muscle frantic and darting. I shook violently.

My paroxysm of pleasure only served to shake Dylan against the walls of my pussy and my groan became a gasping keen. It was impossible. Dylan pushed me to my absolute peak and then somehow pushed me higher. I felt like I would burst.

But finally the toy showed me its perverse mercy and I came down to meer ecstasy from apotheosis. I couldn't pull my eyes away from the picture now. In my mind Daddy approached me, young and bare-chested. Somehow my horror intensified my arousal. His strong arms closed around me, like he had done when I was little. But this time there was a poke down low, and a rain of wet kisses on my face. My hand closed around Daddy's hard cock and pumped it, as I pumped its effigy in and out of me. Suddenly his shorts were off, and he was picking me up in his arms.

I felt like I was watching a car crash in slow motion. I jumped into Daddy's arms and he started to lower me onto his throbbing hard cock. I tried to think of anything else. Anything but Daddy holding me mid air and bouncing me on top of his hot member, but it was no use. In my fantasy, Daddy's cock pushed at my lips, and they opened in their rosy invitation.

My body seized and I cried tears of relief. My fantasy crashed into the sand as my mind and body were flooded with my exquisite release. "Daaaadddddyyyy!" The word was out of my mouth before I even knew it was coming. The cry degenerated into a feral growl as my pussy dowsed my piston-like hands. The white hot pleasure blocked out every thought. It saved me.

As the fire inside me died, I pulled Dylan out of me. I threw it across the room and gaped in unrestrained guilt. What had I just done? I had a fantasy of Daddy. He had come so close to fucking me. I got up and started toward the toy, like a dog after a ball. My quivering, nervous hands hovered over the slick, wet phallus. My vision began to blur with shameful tears.

I picked up my phone.

Amanda: Daddy?

Amanda: Daddy, please

Daddy: I'm here Princess

Daddy: What's wrong?

What could I possibly tell him? I felt like he would know if I was lying to him, but I had his attention now. I stared at his text for a minute.

Amanda: I had a nightmare, Daddy

Daddy: Sorry Baby Girl. Is the house too scary at night? I'm sorry. We shouldn't have asked you to stay there all alone.

Amanda: Idk Daddy. I feel really weird. I miss you.

Daddy: Was your dream about me? Did something happen?

Amanda: Yes, Daddy. I dreamed I did something really bad to you. I'm sorry.

And I was sobbing again. Fuck, how did I get to be such a mess? It was as if Mom's toy had dredged the river and brought all kinds of nastiness. And it wasn't just Daddy in... my fantasy. It was Daddy missing from every part of my life.

Daddy: Shhh. It's ok. It's not real. Daddy knows you would never do something mean to him, Amanda. All that is in the past. I forgive all of it. There's not even anything to forgive. You were just being a teenager.

Amanda: Daddy...

Daddy: Sweetness, I'm actually really glad to hear this from you. I dealt with my feelings on this years ago. I've been ready for you to come back to me, and I'm really delighted.

Daddy: But it's natural for this to bring up some anxiety. This is a big deal, and I'm really proud of you for growing up and taking this step.

Amanda: Still feel little

Daddy: I want you to know Daddy's not mad at you. Of course you're still my special little girl.

My stomach did a flop at his words. He wasn't mad. Daddy would never lie about something like this. But now his kindness somehow made me feel more guilty.

Amanda: don't deserve it

Daddy: Amanda, listen to me. All of this is over. I've wanted this for so long and I feel nothing but happiness and gratitude that you're mine. Stop this. If you can't be kind to yourself just for you, then do it for me.

Daddy: Baby girl, I'll try to call you later tonight. I don't have much time or privacy.

Amanda: Please, don't talk about this around Mom!

Daddy: Shhh, Princess. I know. It's ok. You mom will see us happy with each other and she'll know what happened. We've talked about this a million times.

Amanda: You have?

Daddy: I have to go, Baby Girl. Promise me you're not going to beat yourself up over this.

Amanda: Yes, Daddy. I promise.

Daddy: Good girl. I'll talk to you tonight.

I looked at my phone in my lap. My chest rose up and down and my heart throbbed within. The tears were drying on my cheeks now. I was frozen in place. It was as if Daddy could see me right through the phone. He knew I was crying. Somehow he did. And again this time all my thoughts were in his words, all my emotions already in his heart. I felt my own heart slowing down. I sniffled and wiped my tears.

—

For the rest of the day I felt how I always did when I cried hard. I was tired, but my muscles were still and serene. My thoughts were serious and somber, but not agonizing. I scrolled my phone mindlessly and then decided to pick up a book. I ordered Chinese and ate orange chicken in front of the TV in the living room. I never put my phone down. There was no telling when Daddy would call. He had been here for me and it would tear me up inside if I wasn't there for him. I felt guilty enough that he had to take some of his vacation time to deal with his basket case of a daughter.