The Real Thing Pt. 01

Amanda: Daddy, why? I don't like any of the boys around here.

That was the best I could do. I couldn't tell Daddy about all the anxiety and anguish I had around dating and guys. I waited for his response. This was stupid. Why was I worrying about what Daddy thought? Was this another punishment? He had to know what it was like for me. I had tried so hard in the video I sent. I was so far out of line I still didn't know what had come over me. I started to watch the video in morbid fascination several times but I couldn't get more than a few seconds in. I resolved to disobey Daddy. Either he didn't understand or he was trying to punish me for what I did to that pie.

But Daddy didn't respond. I found myself bitterly staring at my phone, scowling at the message that never came. I wanted him mad. I wanted him to tell me to do it. Or I wanted him to understand and tell me I was beautiful and pretty and even sexy. The last thing I wanted to do was go through this on my own.

This was Daddy asking though. I had him back in my life and I didn't want to fuck it up. Would one date really be that bad? It's not like I would have to frame it as a date. I could tell the guy that I just was in town and wanted to catch up on old times. But it could still be a date. That meant I had to find a single guy. Fuck.

There were a few people from here that I still followed on Instagram. I never much payed attention to them, since most were just passing acquaintances. Most of the guys still here were with someone. Tom Alsup was even married with a baby. Jesus. I studied the profiles of some of the guys. Reuben George, the basketball player? No, I did have a crush on him, but he was way out of my league. Rory Berger had actually been a friend of mine, but when I looked at his profile it was full of weird political stuff. He didn't exactly have kind opinions about women. Creep.

When I got to Bobby Marcus's profile it was getting late. Maybe it would be too late to ask anyone and I could tell Daddy I didn't have enough time. I knew Bobby from some of my classes and chess club. He wasn't in my friend group, really. I did have a pretty big crush on him sophomore year, though I took great efforts to conceal it from him. Bobby went by Bob now, and he had graduated and was going to get his master's in hydrogeology. He had shared articles about people in countries like Bangladesh and Somalia where they struggled to get clean water. And there he was, a big smiling picture of him on campus, I presumed. He still wore glasses and looked to be in good shape. His fashion sense was understated with a button up shirt and t-shirt underneath. He was still quite a handsome guy.

It actually made me smile. Bob looked like a genuinely good guy and he was single, as far as I could tell. My hands were shaking.

Amanda: Hey Bob. You remember me, right? I'm in town for the week.

It was sent and there was no taking it back now. There was also no mistaking my intent, at least the gist of it. I could hardly tell him I was just saying hi now. It was eleven, so I guessed he would still be up.

After a few minutes of reading, I got a notification.

Bob: Of course I remember you. "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts."

My eyes boggled at his message. I remembered the moment I had said that. I had baited him with my rook. This was right in the middle of the crush I had on him and I was taking every opportunity to play with him. My rook looked unprotected, and I even made a little worried face when I took my hand off. But he took the bait and in charged my bishop, capturing his queen. I had won that game, even if I lost most of them to him.

Amanda: What can I say? It was a memorable move.

Bob: I'm back in town too. I graduated back in June and I'm home before I head to U of O to get my master's.

Amanda: Hydrogeology?

Bob: You stalking me or something?

My heart started to pound a bit. If I seemed desperate it could spook him. This is why I hated shit like this.

Amanda: Maybe a little

Bob: How is everything then? You hardly have anything on your profile, so I can't stalk you back.

Amanda: I graduated too. I was at UW.

We went back and forth like this for a bit. I made sure he was single and found a way to slip in that I was too. We chatted and chatted, but I couldn't quite find a way to get to the point without sounding too awkward. It was after midnight by then.

Bob: I have to turn in soon. I have a tennis lesson tomorrow morning.

Amanda: Oh, fun. I had a great time talking. Hope you have a good day.

Bob: Hold on.

I did hold on, in fact I held my breath.

Bob: This is probably out of left field, but do you want to meet up? There's a game store, High Rollers, in town. We can play chess there. Want to join me for a game?

My heart hammered now. I never expected him to be the one asking. I had to think fast.

Amanda: I'm not in town for long. Can it be tomorrow? Like in the evening?

Bob: Yeah, I think they're open until 8. You want to go?

My squeal echoed on the hardwood floors.

Bob: How about I pick you up at 5? Do you still live in the same big house up on the hill?

—

The outfits I bought were spread out on the bed. The tank and shorts were too casual and I would be wearing them for two days in a row anyway. The schoolgirl outfit was embarrassing. I don't even know how I could wear it in public. The maroon corset with the split side dress was the kind of thing I wish I had the courage to wear. I actually thought I looked kind of hot in it. But it was so overt. How could I show it to anyone but Daddy?

I settled on a blue, off the shoulder bell sleeve dress. It showed the slightest strip of midriff and a little tingle went down my spine when I put it on. There was a wraparound top and it even showed a little cleavage, though my tits were almost too much for it to handle. It seemed perfect, sexy enough but with plausible deniability. I cringed a little, as the dress was short enough to show my knees, but it was getting close to time and I didn't have anything better.

Frantically braiding my hair, I went through a hundred different scenarios. Should I play hard and impress or let him win and act the damsel? My flirting was abysmal, but would it be worth it just to try? It had been over a year since I had been on a date. Maybe I was too ahead of myself. Nothing Bob had said or done gave any indication that this was anything but friendly.

My body was heating up now and there was no way for me to cool off. I felt like I had been horny non-stop since finding Dylan under the bed. And Daddy had only made it worse, first with his playing dumb when seeing my pictures and later with his pie trick. Bob was still a handsome guy and I felt a flake of the desire I had had for him in high school.

Of course there was something else there. A nagging little thorn in the back of my mind. These feelings were not for Bob. Not all of them anyway. There was another man who was making my blood boil, though I dared not admit it.

As he came up the walkway, it took every ounce of will I had to let Bob ring the doorbell, as I could see him from the front bay window. On my own, my body leaned back out of sight. He was just as he had looked on Insta, handsome and in good shape with a pinch of nerd. I squirmed on the couch.

Bob's smile was broad and honest. "Hey, Amanda! Wow you look great."

I looked up at him, trying to keep my trembles and quivers to a minimum. Like a loosed dog, I dashed forward, enveloping him and a vigorous hug. "Bobby... Bob you do too! It's so good to see you again." I couldn't see his face, but I could feel his body jolt and stiffen just a bit. But he rapidly recovered and returned the embrace, albeit with less enthusiasm.

I had never been to High Rollers before. They served coffee there and had all kinds of games. There were deck after deck of cards. Boards for checkers, backgammon, and chess. They even had some contemporary games like Catan and Dominion. The windows gave a view of the treacherous river. I tried my best to keep my composure as Bob and I made small talk. I nodded at his stories, laughed at his jokes. I really couldn't help it, giddy as I was.

The floors were hardwood and, like home, groaned with the characteristic creak of an old building. It wasn't crowded on a weekday like this, though I saw a few couples enjoying coffee and conversation more than their actual game. There was even a table of boys playing Magic: the Gathering.

"This is the best place, Amanda," he gushed. We ordered our drinks, a ginger tea for me and black coffee for him. Bob went to pick out our table and get a game. Our eyes met as he left, and for a moment lingered. But as they parted, I saw his flick down. My body prickled with excitement. Had he just tried to check out my tits?

Turnabout being fair play, I took the chance to check his butt out as he went to find our table. It was maybe a bit on the small side, but his pants didn't hide its contours. Those were thrusting muscles. I shivered.

To my surprise, the game held me just as much as Bob did. "It's been a while since I've played, so go easy on me."

"You're kidding, right?" I set down the last piece, the queen on her black square on the board. The set was a classic wood carved set. The pieces were just barely nice enough not to look crude, but still keeping an amateurish charm. The board was lacquered wood too, and the felt-bottomed pieces slid easily across it.

"You're not going to get me with your Trojan horses this time." He took the first move, sliding his pawn forward.

And just like that, Bob and I were back in chess club, in the classroom with the paint peeling off the walls and "Hoashi 1989" rudely carved into the wood chair rail in the wall. I sipped and laughed as I lured Bob in with the same trick I had used before. My knight sat vulnerable and seductive in the middle of the board while his queen crashed into it.

Even down a queen, he had me in mate within thirty minutes. I found myself unselfconsciously stroking my braid down my front, the end of it tickling my right boob. I followed his eyes, and saw him eyeing my curves more than once.

We set up the board again, this time I played white. After a few moves, he disrupted my defenses by capturing my pawn en passant. I gave an embarrassed chuckle, as I had forgotten he could do that. He took the pawn, white and round, and placed it next to the board. My hand snaked out, touching the top of his.

Like with the hug, I didn't have to see his face to sense his discomfort. He pulled his hand back, startled. "Ummm... anyway..." he gave a plastic smile and cleared his throat. My cheeks were so red they felt raw.

The game was closer this time. With most of the pieces cleared off, I mobilized my rooks. As so often happened, once the rooks had free range the game was over. "Good game," he chuckled. A real smile stretched my face.

We played another round, each time the conversation slowed the game more and more until the sun was setting and our cups were empty. Time did nothing to take the edge off my lust, and were I clear headed I would have seen the signs. I didn't try to hold his hand again, but after that he was more subdued, though no less cunning in his play.

I excused myself and got up to go to the bathroom. I stared in the bathroom mirror, turning this way and that to see exactly what Bob was seeing. My mouth formed a straight, tense line. I was full of fear and lust and nerves. I bit my lip. There was no one else in the bathroom.

Leaning against the sturdy stall wall, I exposed and cradled my left tit while my right hand moved down my body. It was a little gross doing this in a public restroom, even one as apparently clean as this one, but once I had set my hands in motion there was no stopping them.

I pinched and rolled my nipple, groping under the smooth curve of my belly into the wet forest below. I had been wet since the moment I had seen Bob coming up the path and I hadn't subsided. My hair was flat with moisture and the lips of my pussy were slick.

There wasn't much time, but I was so fervently aroused that I didn't need much. My finger dove straight for my clit, feeling it engorged and much more sensitive than I expected. I gasped, then moaned. I hadn't heard anyone come in, so I was able to keep my ecstasy to a manageable volume.

My finger looped my clit and flopped it from side to side. The floodgates of my desire were thrown open now, and I fell into the world of breath and sweat and sensual aroma. I plucked like a mad banjo player, and I soon felt the wet fire inside me, ready to explode outward. "Ffffuuuuccck!" I groaned as I shuddered and spasmed against the stall wall. My clit felt like a raw nerve ending, and I pushed and prodded it, heightening my climax.

I don't know how much was from my orgasm and how much had just been there, but my panties were embarrassingly wet. I lamely pulled out roll after roll of paper towels and tried to wipe, soak, and dab as much as I could.

Looking in the mirror, I saw my flushed and blotchy face. My chest shined with perspiration. I tried to put on my best smile. There was nothing for it.

The cool air of the cafe that hit me when I came out emphasized the blotches of sweat that had formed over my body. Bob spotted me across the room and I saw a curious look on his face. Was it concern? Apprehension? When I get nervous like this my mind could play tricks on me. I tried to give my hips a sexy shake as I came over.

Bob forced a smile, "Are you ok, Amanda?"

I shook my head, "I'm fine, why?"

His eyes wouldn't meet mine and his plastic smile faltered. "Never mind. I have to head back after this round." It was dark already but it certainly didn't feel late to me.

I lost the last game easily, too tired and fragmented to focus. I giggled and stroked my braid in front of me. But each time I looked up, there was that plastic smile on Bob's face. This time I cleaned up the pieces and had Bob wait for me. I wanted to give him the chance to look at me one more time.

"I had fun," I grinned.

"Me too, it's a fun place."

"How much longer are you out here?" I needed to get another conversation going.

"I'm out in September."

"Well, maybe I can see you again." I stared hard at him.

There was a long pause. He gulped. "Maybe."

At my insistence he walked me to the door of the house. There was a breeze blowing and I could hear the seagulls down at the waterfront. When we made it to the front door I turned to face him. "Thank you," I smiled, clasping my hands in front of me. I swayed my shoulders from side to side.

Under his smile I could see his vast discomfort. I leaned forward, almost too quickly for him to react. My lips sought his lips, but he turned just in time and I got his stubbly cheek instead. "Would you like to come inside?" I asked, my eyes glassy. "There's pie."

Bob's mouth opened and closed. "Umm..." He sputtered. "Amanda..." His eyes darted back and forth. "Have a good night." He took a few steps backward and shuffled to his car. I watched its red tail lights fade into the distance.

—

How could I have humiliated myself like this? The tears dripped off my face onto the slice of pie under me. This was the last one. This wasn't just sniffles. This was a full-on ugly cry. My body shook, I groaned in my grief, and snot dripped out of my nose. I had been so desperate. I felt like there maybe had been some hope this time. Where had I gone wrong?

The morsel of pie dropped off my trembling fork onto the plate. Now Bob knew I was like this. He knew how desperate I was to get fucked or kissed or even to be touched. He'd tell all his friends about how psycho Amanda from school had gotten over the years. My agonized sobs echoed through the house.

How could Daddy do this to me? He knew how bad my experiences had been with boys. He knew what I looked like. How else could something like this turn out? First he humiliated me with the pie and then he tortured me by making me deal with a boy. Didn't he know how this would turn out?

I didn't even clean up the plate when I finished. I just threw myself down on Mom and Daddy's bed and let it all pour out of me. There was a lot more where this came from. This was not just my embarrassment with Bob, but it was also my guilt about how I had treated daddy, my shame at how revolting I was, and the absolute mortification of my perverted fantasies I had of him. Taken together it all made me feel worthless and I felt like I would never stop crying.

I knew that even though I was mad at him, Daddy would make me feel better. I took him and with the press of a button he buzzed to life. By the time my phone pinged the sheets under me were wet. Again. My voice was hoarse from my moans. I picked up my phone to see who it was. Daddy.

Daddy: Hey Baby Girl. Did you get a chance to have some fun tonight?

I felt every emotion. Rage that Daddy had put me through this, more embarrassment that Daddy would find out what happened, fear that my anger would drive him away, even hope that Daddy could help me and give me what I needed.

Daddy: Well, text me when you get this. Remember, this was a homework assignment.

Amanda: Daddy, I'm here.

Daddy: Who did you end up going out with, Princess? Who was the lucky guy? Anyone I know?

Amanda: Daddy...

My guts were in a knot. Did Daddy really think this was going to go well for me tonight? Surely he didn't think I was going to let a guy fuck me tonight? Though I would have let Bob if he had come in.

Daddy: Everything ok?

How could I tell him? There were a million things I wanted to say to him. So many, in fact, that there was no way to even start. My mind was spiraling. Panic started to take over my body and everything quaked. I needed Daddy to save me. I needed him to be my Daddy.

Daddy: Amanda, come on. Talk to me.

I composed five different replies, deleting each one before I sent it. I was back to bawling again. Working on my sixth reply, my phone jumped to life with Daddy's ringtone. I dropped it on the bed and scrambled to pick it up.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to work up the strength to even say something. I could hear the wind and waves in the background again. But I just couldn't. All I could manage was choked half-words.

"Princess, I'm here." Daddy's voice was understanding and stable. It was a rock I could cling onto in the riptide.

I tried to sputter a response, but Daddy said, "Shhh. Baby Girl. Just take some deep breaths with me. You don't have to say anything yet. Just calm..." I synchronized my breaths with Daddy's. I couldn't even come close at first, since my body was wracked with my grief. But after a few minutes of just focusing on Daddy's voice I was able to breathe, with only the occasional hiccup getting in my way. Daddy was my anchor again. My rock.

Soon my breaths matched Daddy's. "There's a good girl." His voice was heavy but also sweet. "You're very upset tonight. I'm glad I'll be home to see you tomorrow. You're a good girl and Daddy loves you. Just keep that in mind as we're talking."