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All Comments on 'The Ride Home'

by Toolmo

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  • 4 Comments
don87654don87654over 18 years ago
Good, but could have been better

Any fertile moments here?

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Pretty good and

romantic but I don't know, it needed something more. Like maybe whatever he was worried about with Jan...

sacksackover 18 years ago
wow...a lot of sex!

Maybe a little more space could have been devoted to developing the romance. Good "stroke story" though!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
To suffer, or not to suffer ..

Tired idea. What is more, you switch tense and point of view as often as underwear. Editing and proofreading are your friend.

A fair first stab. Too bad it's not your first.

Anonymous
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