The Right One

I sit quietly. He can lash out however he sees fit. I have no right to tell him how to be angry or how to take the news. All I can do now is hope he can one day forgive me. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't.

"I didn't know I was with a common slut." He begins to pace and grow angrier. "You really played me like a fool!"

My leg bounces against the couch as I try to think of how to diffuse the situation but I don't think I can.

"How long have you been waiting to fuck him?" He stops in front of me.

I shake my head. "I didn't want to sleep with him."

"Are you trying to lie to my face now?" He scoffs and starts to pace again. "Unbelievable."

"I don't know why I wanted to kiss him. But that is all I wanted to do." I shrink back when he glares at me.

"You disgust me." He goes back to the room and I hear him unzip a suitcase. "I need some time away from you."

I bring my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around my body. I dig my face into my knees and hold back my tears. He moves around the apartment, gathering his laptop, game console, headset, and everything else he comes across. There are murmurs every now and then that he lets out under his breath. I hear him rummage through the bathroom.

"Feel free to fuck whoever you want since I won't be here." He slams the door.

<<<>>>

Being alone in the apartment starts off very lonely.

Whereas the T.V. never got a break when both of us were home, it now stays turned off for the better part of the week. I toss and turn in bed, not yet accustomed to sleeping alone after having someone next to me for months. I miss the light snoring and the warm body to snuggle with when it gets too cold in the middle of the night. Cooking for one is a lot less fun when I don't enjoy my food the way Hank did.

I have to clean a lot less, which is a blessing. But now I just have more time to contemplate life. I'm almost thirty and I have no one to call my own. My parents are still off traveling, who knows when I'll see them next. Maggie and Travis are preparing for an upcoming trip so they're not around as much. My yoga classes keep me occupied for an hour but then the drive back home always gets to me.

Work has started to lose its luster. I still do my part and I do it well. I still get outstanding compliments from guests. But the motivation to do more has been sapped out of me. Coming home to a lonely apartment feels like a punishment that is starting to transfer into my work life.

It is an emotionally and mentally draining three weeks.

Going into the new month, I start to get more comfortable with my own space. My place starts to look less daunting and more like a sanctuary. Somewhere that I can hide or spend as much time as I want without any expectations. I buy some candles and some paintings to make it feel more like my area. I cook when I want and order out when I feel like it. I keep things tidy and spend less time having to throw things away. I go back to watching movies on my own and treat myself to popcorn and a drink.

I start watching shows that get me excited. I go back to my old ways at work and start looking forward to things to improve. I work with Rupert on my goals and what I need to do to achieve them. He encourages my sights and keeps an eye out for upcoming opportunities. Starting with training new hires and tracking their progress. It is the first of many projects that I feel proud of.

I feel infinitely better about myself.

But that is challenged when Hank tries to nudge his way back in.

He drops by halfway through the following month. We've kept texts to a minimum, mostly me asking him how he's doing and him not even pretending to be okay. I'm surprised when he shows up at my doorstep with some flowers and a conflicted look on his face. I invite him in and make a mental note to grab the boxes I set aside with his things.

After putting the flowers in a vase, I sit across from him at the dinner table.

"The place looks nice." He sits back and rasps his knuckle against the wood.

I nod and wait for him to say something else.

"I figured enough time has passed for us to finally be able to talk." He sits up straighter. "I should start by saying I forgive you."

While I do appreciate his words, they don't make me feel lighter or different. I thought that the day may never come but if it did, it would mean a lot to me. It catches me off guard when I realize that there may have been some truth in Maggie's words. Having his forgiveness doesn't ease my guilt.

"Thank you." I place my hands on my lap. "It really means a lot."

He nods. "I figured you've been beating yourself up about it enough."

I don't respond.

"Anyways," He looks around again. "Maybe it is time I moved back in. We can go back to how things were. Like it never happened."

My hands ball up into fists. Images of us sitting side by side on the couch, not talking for hours and just watching some dumb show come to mind. Every Sunday spent cleaning the toilet, vacuuming the carpet, and washing the bedsheets blur my vision. Cooking and cleaning, and not talking. Just sitting there. Just lying there wanting to be touched but instead coming in second place to the screen before him.

"I can't." I shake my head. My voice is short. "No."

"What do you mean no?" He looks caught off guard. "Of course, we're supposed to get back together."

I shake my head again. "No, we're not."

He stands. "Are you fucking him? Are you with him? Where is he?" He looks around the apartment, hoping to catch me in the act.

If only he knew that Ethan left months ago. I haven't spoken to him since the last time I saw him in the parking lot. The shame I relieve eats me alive whenever he pops into my mind. I try to avoid it altogether. At this point, I don't think Hank would care to know anything about Ethan's whereabouts. Not that I would know.

I follow him as he walks to the bathroom and then to the back room.

"I'm not with anyone." I try to stop him but he brushes me off.

"What the fuck is this?" He sees the boxes with his name on them and then turns to me with incredulous eyes. "You're leaving me?"

I avoid raising my voice. "Hank, I thought we were both on the same page. How can you possibly think we need to get back together?"

"Don't do this." He shakes his head.

"Hank, you don't love me the way I want to be loved. And I doubt I make you the happiest man on Earth." I wrap my arms around myself.

"You want me to be more emotional? You want me to help out around the house more?" He moves his arms around. "Am I not good enough for you just the way I am?"

I look down at my feet. "We're just not the right person for one another."

His shoulders sag and he sighs. "I always knew you thought you were better than me." He moves near the boxes and starts to stack them. "Just be honest with yourself. You found an asshole with your same mentality and now he's fucking your brains out."

I bite my tongue and move aside so he can get the boxes out of the room.

"I hope he realizes what a bitch you are and a total waste of time before jumping into a relationship with you." He slams the door for the last time.

<<<>>>

I'm catching up on some personal emails during lunch.

Rupert comes into the small lunch room and smiles brightly when he sees me.

"Just the girl I'm looking for." He sits across from me.

I sit up straighter and put my phone away. "How can I help?"

He looks around, lowering his voice a bit. "A new position will be opening up soon in HR. It is an entry-level job."

"Kelsey is leaving?" My disappointment is real.

She is so nice and actually cares about the employees who work here. She knows everyone by name and people like having her around, both up top and down below. She hasn't been here long enough to move up the ladder but we all assumed it would happen soon.

"Yes, it turns out her husband got offered a promotion that requires him to relocate." Rupert is disappointed too but he quickly gets over it. "It would be a great opportunity for you if you want to throw your hat in the ring."

My shoulders drop a bit. That would be some big shoes to fill. "I don't know much about HR."

"You actually do but don't realize it. I'm going to send you the job posting. Read through the qualifications and then we can sit down and do some interview prep. I'll see if I can get some info on potential candidates." He stands. "This would be a great time to reach out to Ethan. He worked very closely with HR in the past."

My stomach drops at the mention of his name but I nod and pretend it is totally normal to hear his name. It should be. It's not like my whole life has been thrown into a small whirlwind since I met him.

<<<>>>

My phone rings a few nights later.

Ethan's name pops up on the screen and I watch it ring over and over again.

I make my mind up and answer at the last possible second.

"Hello?" My voice is breathy.

"Hi Leila, I hope this is a good time." There is no nervousness in his tone.

He is as cool as a cucumber. Nothing gets to Ethan. Ethan has all the answers and knows all the secrets of being a confident communicator. Even over the phone, I can imagine him standing tall, wearing something expensive, and listening intently.

"Uh." My response is the complete opposite of everything he represents.

"Rupert mentioned you were planning on applying to a new position." He leads the conversation with ease.

"Um, yes." Why does my tongue feel like lead? I stand and wipe some crumbs off my shirt. As if he can see me through the phone.

"I think that's great! This is the exact outcome we look forward to from our program." His voice lowers a bit. "And on a personal level, I think it is a great place for you to begin your career in hospitality."

My insides warm up.

The thought of making him proud... Getting any sort of praise from him makes my knees feel weak. Because he is the embodiment of success. Nothing should phase him. Heck, this small role is barely a blip in the grand scheme of things. So, why do I care so much that he thinks it is a good idea?

"I have my interview next week." I don't know why I tell him.

"So, you did apply? Atta girl."

If I had a tail, it would be wagging right now.

If we were in the same room, would he pat my head? The idea should repulse me. I'm no better than a bitch in heat apparently. But I'm not repulsed. The warmness spreads to my belly as I replay his words in my mind.

"I have to go now." My cheeks flare.

"Okay, just keep me posted." There is a hint of something in his voice. "And if you want to do any interview prep, I am more than happy to schedule another call."

It is a thoughtful gesture. One that I would have gladly accepted if it came from anyone but him. It isn't fair that I'm persecuting him without a good reason. I just have to listen to my gut for now and keep him at arm's length.

"I'll let you know. Goodbye for now." I end the call as soon as possible.

<<<>>>

With Rupert's help, we do some light prep a few days before my interview.

It is easy to gather my thoughts when he is my direct boss. He has ideas and examples of my work from first-hand experience. It makes it easier for me to begin organizing how I will lay out my answers. According to him, I make it easy by being a good employee. By the end of our session, he tells me I need to work on the 'selling myself' aspect of interviewing.

The thought stays with me all afternoon and even the next day.

How to sell myself? I feel like I can talk about the work that I do and let my skills speak for themselves. But I know what he's referring to. That little sales pitch that could potentially set me aside from others needs to be impeccable. There is just a sense of confidence that I lack. I'm not one to brag. I do my job well because I've always been that type of person. Rupert has to constantly remind me that going above and beyond is not something others would do. It is baffling to me so I don't understand it, let alone feel comfortable enough to highlight it in my interview.

All thoughts of confidence make me call Ethan the night before my interview.

There are only two rings before he answers.

"Leila," His voice is low. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

I look at the time on my phone and realize he may already be in bed. Is he in bed alone?

Focus!

"Sorry to call out of nowhere." I twirl a strand of hair around my finger.

"Rupert did say your interview is tomorrow."

Has he been keeping tabs on me? Or maybe Rupert has nothing better to talk about than his employees. I never thought he was a workaholic but what do I know?

"He says I need to learn how to sell myself better. And I think you're the most confident person I have ever met." I bite my lip.

His chuckle reverberates through my bones. "I guess confident is a word that could be used to describe me."

"Are you kidding?" I stop nibbling on my lip.

"There is a more accurate word to describe me but 'confident' will do for now."

I don't take the bait, fearing the response that I may get.

Instead, I reel the conversation back on track. "Any pointers on how I can sound sure of myself?"

"Hmm," He pauses for a moment. "I can think of a few ways you could gain some confidence but we don't have enough time."

My mind races with what he could be referring to and I want very badly to ask. But no. I called for one thing. I can't get distracted.

"For now," He continues. "Write down your best attributes. Workwise and personal-wise. Make sure you truly believe them as you write them down. Then tomorrow, keep repeating them to yourself."

That should be easy, right?

"And most importantly, pay attention to this part because it is very crucial, right before your interview, find yourself a safe space. Look up power poses and do at least two for 60 seconds each."

Now that sounds like pretty good advice.

I nod and then remember that he can't see me. "Thank you, for the advice. And for talking to me."

"I am always here to help."

"Goodnight, Ethan."

"Have a very goodnight, Leila."

<<<>>>

The interview is a blur.

My mind isn't necessarily blank throughout it but as I try to think back on a few things, I draw blanks. I remember answering each question with a good tone and a confident tilt. I just hope they focus more on the potential than the other lacking qualities.

Ethan sent me a text earlier, wishing me good luck.

I respond now and let him know his advice really did help. A weight was lifted off my shoulders when I did the superwoman pose. That and just replaying our conversation in my head. He must have sprinkled some of that confidence sparkle over to me through the phone.

Or maybe, I really just enjoy talking to him.

I push the thought way in the back of my mind and focus on getting back to work.

<<<>>>

Three days pass until I hear back.

I'm at the front desk, refreshing my email when I see a new one pop up.

My heart stops momentarily and I look over at Shae, who is on her phone. Today has been a slow day and we don't have that many reservations left. I could wait until the end of the day to check my email, just in case a guest were to come out of nowhere. But the anxiety is mounting on my shoulders. I don't think I can wait.

I blow out a breath and open it. My eyes skim the first few sentences and then I squeal.

"What is it?" Shae looks over at me, clutching her chest.

"I got it!" Tears spring to my eyes as she runs over and looks at my screen.

She turns around and gives me a hug and we end up jumping up and down in celebration. A supervisor walks by and asks about all the commotion. Shae points to the screen and we get one new addition to our celebration.

I stop and give Shae a pleading look. "Can you watch the counter on your own for a little while? I want to share the news with Rupert."

She nods excitedly, "Take all the time you need!"

I'm rushing down the hall and bouncing on my toes as I approach his office. The door is open so I barge in and jump in excitement.

"I just heard the news." He beats me to it and leaps up from his desk to hug me.

"Who told you?" There is no way he heard me from down the hall.

"Your new boss called to share the great news." He pulls back and rests his hands on my shoulders. "I am so proud of you."

I hold back the tears in my eyes and grab his hands. "I couldn't have done it without you, boss."

"You're the one who got the job. Now make sure to set your sights as high up as you can." He hugs me once more.

I pull back, ready to leave his office but he stops me.

"I already made a reservation for us to celebrate Friday evening. It will be my treat."

"Oh no, you don't have to do all of that." I blush in embarrassment.

"Please, it will be a proper goodbye before you leave me for the dark side." He winks.

"Thank you, Rupert. For everything."

<<<>>>

My car zips home from work on Friday.

I take a quick shower and set aside my dress for the evening. It is an off-the-shoulder sea green dress that fits snugly against my small curves. I debated hard about my choice of clothing but Rupert said it would be a nice restaurant and this is the nicest dress I own. That will hopefully change now that I will be getting a pay bump. A pretty significant one if I am being honest. Excitement runs through my body as I apply some light makeup.

It will be nice to celebrate with Rupert and his wife, Eleanor, tonight. He asked about Hank and I sadly told him the news. He sounded upset about it but didn't give me too much grief. I like to keep my personal life far from my work life but it has been awkward having to tell people that I am single now. There have been a few housemen and security guards who have tried hitting on me but I take it all as a light joke.

My mind briefly falls back to Ethan, who is aware of the promotion. He called after I texted to tell him and congratulated me. I shiver slightly as I remember the pleasure that I received from his words. It is getting silly at this point, but at least I don't feel as guilty about it now. As I keep reminding myself, I am single.

My gold platform shoes give me some added length. I don't look so bad, but I also don't like the added attention. I take it in stride, remembering that there were times when I liked to go out and look pretty in public. Now it just has nothing to do with my date. I have no one to impress but myself. I am glad I took the extra effort tonight. I look like someone who is confident and self-assured.

I'm back in my car, zipping to the restaurant a few moments later.

A valet takes my key and I try not to gulp out loud as I stand outside of the restaurant doors. I thought I would be overdressed. Looking at the women around me, I just about fit in. I raise my head and walk in, looking for Rupert or Eleanor. His hand goes up in the back of the room and I smile in response. I realize as the waiters move past me and the table comes to view that his wife along with someone else is sitting at the table.

My heart beats out of my chest as I recognize the dark hair coming to view.

Rupert stands as I arrive, making it impossible for me to turn around and pretend I never came.

"You look lovely, dear." He hugs me and kisses my hand.

Eleanor stands and gives me a big hug. "Congratulations on the big news."

I can barely focus on her words. My ears are ringing and I'm trying to hold myself together for the next interaction.

Ethan stands and shakes my hand. "Nice to see you again, Leila. Congratulations on your new position."

My hand feels meek in his. Even with my high heels, he is still taller. He's wearing a dark suit with a white button-up underneath. The thick watch on his wrist barely moves as he shakes my hand.