All Comments on 'The Ring'

WTF??????

And what happened next?

???

???

Ending to the story

And when I awoke, Jack was doing both women and Dave was doing me. Life is great at sea.

????? Seriously?

Seriously pissed me off. Why didn't you at least warn me it was only part one.

Yeah. Okay. Right.

Waste of time.

Where's the rest? This isn't a story so much as a prologue.

Huh guess this is a 2 part story or the writer didn't finish it. Won't rate unless complete.

What a wimpy way to drum up comments---and drive down score.

If you're going to write a multi-part story, you need to be upfront with your readers and tell them. I'm not talking about adding a "To be continued..." to the end, although that would be better than nothing. You can put it in the title, you can put it in the story info, or you can put it in the opening remarks above your story. You have options. Take advantage of them.

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If this is not a multi-part story, finish writing it before posting!

A great start. I can't wait for the next episode.

This was nothing but incoherent gibberish.

and they lived happily ever after, upon the carcass of his mother-in-law

AND??????

A bit short but a promising start! Looking forward to your next submittal.

I think that parts are missing from your story. Check it out and resend as a new publication?

more typos in the first few sentences than you find in most 10 page stories. Functionally illiterate faux author, trying to lecture us about what 'good and bad' mind control stories would be, and yet incapable of formulating a coherent thought before I tuned out.

OK, that's chapter 1....

Still waiting, not falling in what?

Needs work. Lots of work. I hope you get it together. Or should I say, sorted out? What the hell does that even mean?

I hate stories that been anchored.

Is this the first part of the story ?

Dumb. Even I do better.

The BEAR

@26th NC: not falling in the water - they're on a boat and the MC is stowing the anchor.

I'm looking forward to further chapters.

Please write part 2!

Intriguing, but wrong category.

500 yards away, that's five American football fields, you're not going to see or hear much.

Confuzzzed!!!

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

Sound like an interesting start but there was at least two problems that caught my attention long enough to make me stop reading to do some checking. You wrote Rachel's vocal wasn't loud "thoug" ; lost the h on that one. And I'm sure the anchor system he used was a windlass, not a fancy winglass. Sound like he should be glad he didn't put the shiny ring with a two inch diameter over his finger (where it would dangle around) and not over another part of his anatomy. That being said I will be moving on to Part 2 now to see what magic is hidden in the shiny ring.

Interesting