All Comments on 'The Seahorse'

Excellent story. I didnt find it particularly erotic, but I didnt care. I wish it would have ended differently, it seems like this could be a series. You got my fave story vote.

This could be a film or series. I'd watch.

so she died???? why you ended on a cliff hanger! like literally! hate you!

yeah, it waasn't sexy but it was scary. got a laugh out of me when she said "can't waste a good eyeball" XD

His hand got chopped off

I want eggs sunny-side up, please. Also, congrats on posting your first story on Literotica. I like it.

Not erotic but i want to know what happens next. It fits the Halloween theme.

There is a special kind of purgatory for writers who end stories like this. I'm just sayin. Yeah, I'd watch this as a movie. Your writing is very graphic.

Hoi from the Netherlands! Goed story. Visual. Sekhmet is one of my favourite goddesses and I like how you wrote her. Bloodthirsty but funny. It makes sense. Wasn't scary but I was scared for her, to make it out. Does that count?

Noo. Sekhmet is full of herself and a bitch. She waants to save her child but has no problem with killing others. They are someone else's child too. And is it just me or does she hate humans? But i guess I will hate humans too if they trapped me for seventeen years and experimented, so thats ok with me. Well written character but I dont like her. Like I said, she's one cold-hearted biatch. Don't know if i care what happens to her next.

This is good. What happened to her? I saved you as a favorite.

Sooo is she black? Cause i dig her. Scary chick.

Good first story, but you need to finish it. The beginning was erotic for me.

It was too short and to be frank the start is slow as hell. She blabs too much. I wanted to scream "Just get to the sex!" But there was no sex. Not really. Once the action got started I liked it. I don't know if this even belongs in Non-Consent. It's more like Erotic Horror (very liberal use of Erotic label). Although there were some pacing issues, overall it's not bad. I would like to know what happened to her and the baby afterwards. Keep writing.

Yo firstly, I beg your pardon gents and girls for the abysmal formatting of my submission. All you writers make it look so easy and then my story comes out and it's a bloody mess.

Secondly, I uploaded on my finsta v0volt feeds my tablet drawing of Sekhmet and how i imagine she would look like. Spoiler alert I was inspired from the looks of a real actress but I probably shouldn't say who. ;)

And thirdly, to those of you who said (most of you) that it wasn't erotic. I don't think I meant it to be erotic. I wrote this piece from my angry place as a metaphor.

You see, I hadn't visited Literotica in several years and when I came back a lot of my favourite writers were either gone or they hadn't updated in years. Something fishy. Prolific writers, who had written for decade(s) then poof. All gone. Then I found DreamCloud's biography explanation and a thread on Writer's Hangout.

Our favorite writers are fleeing the site en-masse because of brain-dead criminals who steal (often word for word) other’s work from Literotica and sell it as their own on Amazon. These are sociopaths, who can’t come up with a single original thought beyond ‘I wanna get rich quick’ and have no scruples against intellectual rape and theft of anybody else’s “baby”. Amazon is not doing enough to verify copyright authenticity and it is nearly impossible for plagiarized work to be removed without the writer publicly declaring their real name. Plus, their stolen stories are now burned. Unpublishable.

You wanted to read something scary? How would you feel about a world with no Literotica? No place where you can freely share ideas and experiences without being exploited for the vapid pursuit of greed or reader recommendation algorithms.

Happy Halloween.

Volt, thanks for bringing attention to this problem in your comment and your story. Yeah, it's a real problem. I've noticed too, that it's rampant. In reality Amazon is in the business of making money and stolen books and stories profit their sales margins so they have no incentives to fix this. And it's not just Lit stories. People are stealing from already published books, except they're not so blatantly copying word for word.

Unsurprised to find it was Sekhmet. But what a strange little tale! Interesting and well written though. Im with some of the other reviewers that its hard to assess how i feel about it. I would be interested in more from this universe.

Volt, I re-read your story after you said it was a metaphor and when she chopped off his "dominant" i.e. writing hand, it all clicked for me. Your story is quite intellectual and most will not appreciate it.

To the commenter, who said that this doesn't belong in NC category, I couldn't disagree more. And it belongs in NC precisely because it's not erotic. This is no "Romance". 99% of NC stories, the raped heroine either likes it/falls in love with her rapist or does absolutely NOTHING about it. The best NC stories stand apart in that the heroine is not a soul-less sex doll and fights back, just like a real woman would. I LOVED Sekhmet as a character. I LOVED this story. LOVED your writing. 5 stars from me.

You got me from your first line. Very unexpected turn. I want to read more.

Well, you saved this story with your ending. I though I knew where it was going and was going to stop reading after midway of Page 1. Glad I stuck around. Personally, I don't know who Sekmet is but I'm guessing it's a pagan goddess. Never heard of her. I though you were talking about the Greek Artemis for most of the story. Write a story about Artemis next. The action scenes were far better than the fucking machine scene.

Now watch your story is gonna be sold on Amazon under someone else's name in like 1 month. LOL

What the shit did I just read? Scary no. Erotic, umm strangely yes. Now I want to bone an egyptian.

That's one messed up chick.

You better write more!

Great stor for the haloween contest. Not my cup of tea, but i congratulate you on writting so well.

This is not a stand-alone story. There was no resolution! You can't just leave your readers like that. If you submitted this under the Halloween Contest, you can't just leave it open-ended. Also, it feels like this is part of a much larger universe, but we have no context. So no context and no resolution. It makes me super angry that I wasted time reading it. That being said, your writing is amazing. I don't think it was slow-paced. My only constructive criticism is that the machine sex could have been rendered with more erotic words. It felt clinical, not passionate.

I hated the beginning. I hated the ending. I hate the writer for writing it. Worthless trash. I like Resistance stories but this is disgusting. Writing isn't bad, but it's completely wasted on a story like this. Are you condoning or encouraging murder? She is a psychopath! Why can't you write something good, like a Romance or Erotic Coupling? Until then, I won't read anything else by this writer.

Best of luck to yah in the Halloween Contest. 5 Stars.

Man, you got some messed up imagination. Liked the bit about the weapons. Were there M16s in early 80s? Guess maybe gen1. But I don't know about the iris recognition. How would she have known how to use them? It wasn't scary but sexy as hell.

Good luck in contest

I can't tell where you're from. Are you british or canadian? The story was interesting. Sorry, best I can do to describe it. It's definitely different.

Thank you for your effort. It's very unique. I don't think this is the right place for this kind of story. I can see this under Erotic Horror, or Fantasy. I was on the edge of my seat for some of it, but it left me unsatisfied overall. I'd like to know more.

Great start... Where does it go from here?

It's a fun little story.

It's an interesting character. The anti-hero. She doesn't come across as sympathetic to the reader in the least, more like an arrogant bitch. And yet, I was interested in her making it out of the research facility. The escape story has been done to death, but this felt fresh. It had gravity. Good first effort. As others have said, this story isn't completed.

What's ka? kaka? ))) I don't think I've ever heard of powers like this. So her superpower is "cosmic strings"? That's original. But there are some inconsistencies with how you describe it. It was at times confusing.

There is no god or goddess but Jesus.

I hate reading books and stories with no end! get bak to writing, right now!!!

I liked the guns.

Just because a story doesn't come to a happy ending, it don't mean it's not completed y'all. She had to escape. She done it. End of story. It finished just fine.

But I liked the writing. It was scary but not erotic.

I want a movie about Sekhmet. She's the most under-rated goddess of all time. Even "Gods of Egypt" didn't bother including her! She's like one of the biggest in egyptian mythology and didn't get so much as a footnote. V.Volt, good story. Well written. Don't you dare leave it at this. Tell us what happens to her and the baby.

as fuck

I don't know if I love it or hate it. It wasn't what I expected. You kicked me in the nuts with this one. Bahaha. Good job.

A great many stories on this site read the same, or same-ish at least. Really happy to come across such a standout piece with a bold, confident style. In fact, the style was so compelling and the action so tight that I was willing to overlook all the typos ;) In the hands of a lesser stylist I would have dropped this story much earlier, so that's testament to the power of your voice. It was a little technically weak for me to give it full marks, but still one of the best Halloween entries I've read so far. Looking forward to reading more of your work, and to experiencing your full range.

ChasPHX – Appreciate it man, and I will work on typos. Read your “All day Opposite” story and loved it. Will get to the rest for sure.

curiouskitten247 – Thank you. With a name like yours, when will you write something? It’s time. I’ll be your first follower. ;)

crazycupcake – Jolly good of you to say that. Non-consent is the only category I could place it, due to Literotica rules. I like me a kick-ass woman too.

To Anonymous “MOVIE …” – Splendid idea. Sekhmet is truly due for a movie. I too, am quite taken with her, if it wasn’t obvious.

Thank you to everyone, who liked it. Thank you for commenting to everyone, who hated it.

And to Anonymous “…” – Well, well, well. I find someone after me own black heart. A weapons smartarse. The original M16 assault rifle (formerly the AR-15) has been in use in field since 1963-64 by the States. It had 20rounds, which is what Sekhmet would have been familiar with. Although it was newly released, she would have definitely remembered it as it was infamous for how unreliable it was. In 1969, the M16 was upgraded to the M16A1, almost identical but most notably it had 30 round cart. and fixed some of the bugs, but she wouldn’t have known that seeing as she wasn’t allowed much weapons training during her captivity. So yeah, M16A1 would have definitely been around the time of her escape. JPTR1450 also used M14s, MM1 grenade launcher, Colt 1911s, sniper rifles and anti-tank on Sekhmet.

In regards to the iris recognition, you gunned me down good. I’m in a bit of a dodgy territory there. It MAY not have existed in 1981. I took some creative liberties. Was real pleased with myself at that point, patted myself on the back, and made the choice to leave it in as early 1980s really lacked technology that could have contained Sekhmet’s particular brand of superpowers. But I do have a weak ass excuse for it. Ok. So check it. The concept of using iris patterns to distinguish between individuals has been around since 1936. And the USA Defense Nuclear Agency has been testing this since WWII and especially during cold war, as a means to secure entry of nuclear silo facilities. The iris-recognition device received a patent in 1994 for PUBLIC USE, but JPTR1450 is military research facility so they could have been field testing and developing prototypes much earlier than 1994. You can’t pursue a regular patent for classified devices and you are awarded what is known as Classified Patent, under the Invention Secrecy Act of 1951. So. For all we know, it COULD have existed. Cheers.

Good, very Good. Let us meet the offspring. part 2

One star because it’s an abandoned half story. Otherwise, would have been a solid 5.