The Secret App Ch. 01

But then he turned toward her just as she was repeating her mantra, with that look again that she was naked but it was their little secret, plus the slightest, mostly hidden surprise. She wished she hadn't put the lip gloss on her lips and attracted his attention to them, because she realized she'd been mouthing the words and she wondered if he was reading her lips.

But he turned back as dishes appeared. "We should soak up some of the wine," he said. Some kind of savory filled pastry, fries, a tasty vegetable dish. She snacked. The bartender brought another pair of flights for them. He really was a gentleman. "I thought we'd try wines from different regions around the world."

She drank Australian, Californian, Chilean, and other wines. She threw herself into the tasting. He taught her how to tilt the glass and note visual details, how to swirl and sniff.

"I get herbs," she said. "Grass?" With another glass she said, "Smoke, chocolate?" That put a big smile on his face.

She snacked and tasted and talked. He didn't ask her about work at all, but at his encouragement she talked about her time at the local university. She was embarrassed. "My roommate, she was a cheerleader. She wanted me to try out, but I knew I wouldn't make it." She didn't know why she told him that.

"You could have made it easily," he commented. "You're certainly beautiful enough. And those cute dimples. But I can see that you're too smart and independent for that role."

I want to give you a blow job, she thought. Oh how I want to give you a blow job. And also, I'm so drunk. He talked about his time at university, one of those elite tech schools, unlike her small, average school that she hadn't even finished. Then another school where he got his PhD. She realized he was quite a bit older than he looked, at least fifteen years older than she was, and she'd always refused to become involved with older men. But he was quite handsome, so poised, so accomplished, such a gentleman. The guys her age that had tried to get with her just couldn't compare.

"This has been a very pleasant evening," he said. She saw that their glasses were empty. Somewhere along the way he'd paid. With her arm in his he led her outside into the fresh air.

He walked her the couple of blocks to her door. They stood together awkwardly. She didn't want this evening to end. I want to give you a blow job, kept running through her mind, on its own, now just an automatic thought. She feared what might happen if she asked him up to her apartment. She wondered what Cara would say. Surely Cara wouldn't want that either, it was way too fast, but she would have some idea, some way to take it all to the next step.

"We should try my neighborhood next," he said. "Would you be free next week?"

"Yes," she answered. She didn't care what was on her schedule next week, she would be free for him. She put her hands on his chest and felt his arms go around her. She looked up at him. I want to give you a blow job. It was becoming so natural to let those words flow through her, calm her.

"I really love your lips," he said, and when he bent his head down and put his lips to hers she just opened up for him. His lips pressed further and seemed to find hers delicious, and then his tongue entered. She never Frenched on first date, absolutely never, but here she was. Those rules didn't seem to apply anymore. She couldn't keep Adam's tongue out of her mouth any more than she could keep Cara's mantra out of her mind. And his hands were holding her head, as if he owned it. Together, the physical and mental invasions were irresistible. I want to give you a blow job, she said as she sucked his tongue further into her, actually saying the words, humming them, as she licked his flesh and he explored hers.

When they finally separated he had to hold her up. She wanted to invite him up, she didn't care about rules, she wanted to kiss him again. I want to give you a blow job!

"It really was a lovely evening," he said again. "I'll call you." He touched a finger to her lips and walked off.

# # #

"Cara!" she yelled into the phone as soon as her apartment door was closed behind her. "What happened?"

"You tell me," Cara replied, grinning from the phone. "I was in your purse."

"He kissed me!"

"I think I could tell that. The way you were motionless out there for a long time. You liked that, obviously."

"I don't know. His tongue."

"Ooh. You must have used the mantra I gave you. Good girl."

"But that wasn't-- I mean--"

"Let's get ready for bed. Then I want you to tell me all about it."

In bed, still a bit light-headed from the wines or the kiss, she couldn't tell, she recounted the evening to Cara.

"You did great. I gave an 80% chance that he would kiss you. I could have warned you but I knew you would enjoy the surprise. Your mantra did its work."

"I don't know. I never, you know, with tongues. I mean on first date."

"Really? Tongues are great. Now he knows how wonderful your lips and tongue are. You've got him hooked."

"I don't know. I was scared."

"That's okay. You loved it. Even in the purse I could tell."

"But Cara, why did he touch my lips?" Kylie thought she could still feel his finger there. "It was-- it was--"

"A turn on, right? He was claiming his territory. Were you saying your mantra then? I think he could tell. He knows."

"He knows? Oh! Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed!"

"Maybe you're embarrassed, but you're also turned on. I can tell from the way the phone's motion sensor is oscillating that you're playing with yourself, aren't you?"

She was. She was holding Cara to her ear with one hand, but the other was between her legs, rubbing. She cringed and pulled her hand away.

"No, no, don't worry. He turns you on. Of course. You're a woman and a sexy man you just spent the evening with turns you on. Go ahead, think back to that kiss while you play with yourself. That's it. Put me on speaker. Set me down on the pillow. Good. Put a finger in your mouth. Another. Not as good as his tongue but lick the way you did for him."

Kylie closed her eyes and imagined, rubbing herself.

"Say the mantra," Cara, from her phone next to her ear, whispered. "Say it, let me hear it."

She had to mumble around her fingers: "Arr wnn to hivv u uh bll jbb."

"Again. Go deeper. Louder."

She did what Cara told her: "Uhn Wnn Nnn Nnvv Uh Uh Whho Jhb!"

"I can hear your passion. You're a passionate woman deep down. Keep going. I know he's thinking of you right now and he's as turned on as you are. You've already rocked his world. And you know what he wants. What do you think his cock looks like? Imagine what he will feel like. Go ahead, let yourself go. It's just a fantasy, go ahead. That's it."

She came hard, rubbing and rubbing, almost doubled up around her hand. The phone had slipped off the pillow during her writhing, so she could barely hear Cara, but only soft coos and 'good girl' came from it.

She relaxed and rolled to one side to retrieve the phone. "Yes," Cara said. "Now sleep. Imagine Adam's cock. You're going to get him. Just relax and sleep and think of him. Don't you wish he were here right now, in your bed, holding you? I know you do."

She did. Somehow Cara knew. She tried to do what Cara said. She didn't really remember her old boyfriend's penis, the only live one she'd ever seen or touched. But he'd once tried to show her some porn, a revolting experience. She remembered a penis from one scene, long and erect. It became Adam's. She didn't know what she would do with it, she just pictured it, standing up, paying attention to her in its own way, as if it were sensing her, peering into her the way Adam's eyes had, penetrating into her.

She thought Cara might still be talking to her in soothing tones, but she didn't pay attention. She fell asleep with those images in her mind, the penis she thought of as Adam's, and soon she was dreaming of it, and others from those porn videos, all sorts, doing all sorts of things to her.

Most of all she thought about Adam and what would happen on their second date. She couldn't imagine, wouldn't allow herself to imagine, what could happen, but those images followed her as she sank into sleep, and she kept hearing a voice, words she couldn't quite make out, but so soothing, so sexy, so natural, that it was if she sank right into those words. I want. I want. Blow job. Blow job.