All Comments on 'The Super-Duper Ch. 01'

Overall the story is solid. Since you're in the middle of revising the chapters, you should probably look into finding an editor. There were quite a few mistakes, odd sentences, and pov inconsistencies. Yet the only thing that bugged me was the names. Why does the main character have 3 different names? Is her name Somalia Rhonda?

I was curious about the different names for Somalia too.

What Tristan really need to do is stop calling Somalia by Big Rhonda. Big Rhonda is a name that will continue to remind her of her time The Crew bullied her. I have sympathy for how they treated her but not so much for her not telling Tristan she was pregnant. Of course she was bitter and scared of Tristan's reaction...understandable. She has had more then enough time to do what was right though.

Somalia is going to be upset with Gumby by when she finds out she knows Tristan. I believe she will get mad at Tristan when she finds he knows about Julian.

Somalia is her actual name. Gumby calls her "Molly" which is a nickname and it was inspired from her name. "Big Rhonda" was a crude slur that The Crew calls her. I had lifted the name from a bit character off of "That 70's Show". I have never like that character off of that show.

Im so into this story!!! Can't wait for the next update!! I love Gumby!!!! She's a trip!!! More please!!!

Can't wait to read more. You have a great gift. I love all of your characters. I cannot wait to see how Tristian found out about Julian and also how he knows Gumby.

Great story. The Crew are bunch of snobby brats. They seem to have learned nothing. Although, I think Tristan may have some redeeming qualities... he needs to step it up. Why would hang around people he pray upon weaker people?

Tristan appears to have feelings for Molly yet he failed to stand up for her. If he is to have any chance, he needs to grow some balls. Molly is not going to let him in her life or their son's life, he can't be the man she needs him to be.

As for Hill, Ethan and the rest of he Crew, I hope they get payback. Something tells me they made their life mission to make others miserable.

I don't know if I should be honored or wary that you've used my name in your story. Either way, nice chapter.

It was totally unintentional. LOL

Huummpphh, I know one thing for sure Tristan needs to stop calling Molly "Big Rhonda", because it was a name given to her out of teasing and bullying! He's really over here acting as if he don't know all the suffering him and his 'Crew' done put her through. Let me stop shitting on him for a second to acknowledge how well devised and thought out his little scheme to get her to that resort. It also begs the question 'where did Gumby and Tristan meet' hmmmm. Anywho, I know you're going to answer these questions with you everythings always well thought out! Update soon xx

I hate when interracial writers are writing about black women features. Why do they feel the need to make the women hair sound white? Why can they not write about the real hair of African American women? I feel it they have a problems with our hair just don't write about us. Please, her hair was at her waist. Yes some of us have long hair , my hair is at my shoulder. But I have not seen many of us with hair at our waist. If you do not think our features are pretty, just make your story white woman/white man.

I didn't know that only white women had long hair. My bad...

I'm a black female with hair that is past the middle of ny back, and yes, it is all mine. Not every black person has short or coiled hair. Also, it is the authors story. She can give a character a neon faux hawk if she wants.

Love the story! Ready for part 3!!!!!!!!!

Most of the women in my family had long hair, my hair is to the middle of my back and there were women with hair long enough to be bunched in their laps... long hair is not a white only feature don't believe the hype just because you haven't encountered many black women with it

I am a black woman and my hair is down my back also I have no products in my hair no chemicals,not all black women have the same type of hair. This is the authors story and they have a right to describe the people in there story as they see fit if we do not agree we can always stop and read something else

When is chapter 3 coming :)

While my hair barely hits my shoulders, it is cut. My two oldest sisters and my mother's hair is to the middle of their backs. Two all natural, one with a relaxer. None of us are mixed, only one of us is fair-skinned. Honey you know there are plenty of black women with long hair, just because you are not one of them, stop tripping.

What fucking horrid people!

That was rape and anyone who finds rape erotic needs their head read! Stopped reading at that scene.