All Comments on 'The Tape'

Yeah... so... this is incomplete

FTDS

He should divorce the bitch, she clearly doesn't love him.

Ashley's obviously a size queen and has been dialing in sex with her husband for the last decade. There's simply no excuse for being prudish and denying her husband oral when she's given and received for another man.

I'm not trying to discourage you but this is written terribly. It is 100% narration, not one sentence of dialogue. Also, you started almost every paragraph with "Mike." Nothing will make a story more boring than repetition.

That said I hate stories that wait till the last sentence to unveil themselves as a cuckold story.

I would read some stories and see how the better writers use dialogue to make their characters more real. Also watch how they use tags so you don't constantly put the tag in the same place or use the same one all the time. And for heavens sake, if you're going to write a willing cuckold story let people know so they get mad because you wasted their time.

So Mike finds out what a lying cunty piece of trash his wife is, how she will deny the man who has loved her his whole life and who she allegedly loves while giving it to some douchebag type motherfucker, and....instead of being pissed about it, he's turned on....and she sees him. Great, I wonder how long before this weakling is slurping some dude's jizz out of his whorebag wife.

This needs part two. She hasn't been unfaithful but how does Mike react? How does Ashley get angry when her husband is getting off looking at her? But is this the only DVD and who says so? What's Mike going to find on the hard drive and the other disks? Who's the guy and might he be her boss? Lots of room for trouble here.

Thanks for the good start and keep going.

Take everything you read with with a pinch of salt. For what it's worth, here's my ten cents. This was a well written first story. The grammer, structure and pacing were good and your primary character was well drawn.

The plot was very brief. Such a discovery would be a hell of a shock. I would have liked to see less of his excited wank fest and more of his emotional state. Most of all I would have liked to see the consequences of this discovery, where that takes him and where they both end up. There wasn't a lot of conflict being overcome, a shame since that usually is the biggest driver for character growth.

A lot of readers in LW will expect a BTB or RAAC ending and its rare to find a balance that is neither. It really begs the question of where this goes, where you intend to take it. I enjoy plotting and character development so I won't score it right now. It's a little too open ended for me and a man perving on his wife with someone else is really not my flavour.

Thanks for the read and best of luck.

I just wish the other man had been her father to make the transgression even more taboo.

He could be, let's see, actually having sex with his wife, or, he could watch a video of her having sex and wank off. He's not HAVING sex, though he's married to the woman on the tape, and could, he's watching a video of her having sex. I've always wondered about people who would rather watch other people do something than do it themselves. Weird people. Have to give this one a two.

the start of a story. lets see where you take part 2

but needs to be finished and a bit more character building please.

Pretty good... now how is little miss plain white bread going to explain that summer away now? No thongs, shaving or head for hubby? Not cool at all! Tie her down and fuck it out of her!

Not a fan of cheaters or cuckold. I’ll see where this heads.

Good beginning, you should do a part 2

Great sex, but finish the damn story!

All I can say is I hope you found more tapes and pass along what you saw on them to us. Vol2 ?

Last three lines ruined it. Now it is just a cuckold story. If he had taken the discs and confronted her later it would give the story more directions to go.

But I hate cuck, whore humiliation stuff.

This had pretty good potential for some interesting directions and, despite some beginner mistakes in story development, grabbed my attention until the "superior man" line.

There is a cuck/whore/humiliation /wimp/bitch audience here but you might find more acceptance in fetish.

which one gets custody of the kids? The evil wife or the Enuch?

I gave you 4* because I could relate to the story and it was drawn out to expose the green monster of jealousy that I would have felt. You gave more details in the first paragraph than was necessary for the build up and the story doesn’t have an ending that completes the story and the feelings that are very important.

Keep writing and consider a chapter to complete this one.

Thanks for sharing your effort with us.

This is good first story, that has alot of potential. Please continue the story and \ or start a new one.

It's was easy read and understandable, but Im not a grammar expert.

I'm sure some grammar troll will undoubtedly rise, but don't be discouraged.

As if she owes him someone else’s pussy now also And she better start fucking hubby like the slut she is Seems as if this wife has some explaining to do if she wants to keep her happy life Otherwise if she won’t fuck Her own hubby like that slut She should find hubby a nice slut to make and keep him happy And wonder who’s she fucking now That should have been him now she owes hubby big time Or divorce

Not enough going on to even be conidered a chapter.

Another Brain Dead Idiot to join the others.

You had to much Northern Exposure.

-1

Okay, I guess, but not much there.

First, problem, it's all narrative. Difficult to avoid, but you maybe could have had him hear what she was saying on the video.

You mentioned that she had "changed" after the summer, but didn't say in what way.

It seems like she lied about the trip, story could have continued to get into that.

As into the thick cock she was, she settled down with him. Unless there's some sign that she is seeking out other thick cocks, then it's really a big nothing burger.

It's quite obvious you are either female or a wimpy cuck. No real man writes like this.

Looks like another setup for a long term cheating wife and a Wimp Ass Castrated Cuckold. What we find out that she is was seeing him for years. That the kids are big dick's. That she now fucks at least three big dicks. But now she will let little dick hubby watch her do everything including pulling a train, but he can only watch and not participate.

Thanks but no.

There are a ton of writers in this vain.

Please don't feel the need to finishing it!

Try finnishing a story or give up. Got to hurt to find out his wife did not love him enouph to be truthful or give herself to him like she gave herself to a stranger. Well he knows his sex life is vanilla but wifey gets a kick out if denying him while she's out giving other men everything he isn't getting. No women would stay married to a tiny dicked useless husband when she knows she gets better sex else where. Dna test on kids quick smart since hubby knows the kids not his.

Has me intrigued so keep writing.

Great read. Wondering if you are going to follow up with another chapter? Say Ashley's. Awakening. ?

You write well, but your main character is truly a sick dude.... Divorce pending.....and he's going to get rolled.... Ugh.... Sick, sick, sick...

Why would she deny him and hold him to "vanilla" sex? That is a betrayal. She has probably been cheating on him the whole time. Time to check DNA on the kids. But instead the author made him weak and he will accept that his wife enjoys sex with others and only tolerates it with him. I feel sad for the kids.

Sounds like this couple will need to have a discussion.

First, welcome to your first submission. Now the hard part, you kept the suspense up well with all the drama of the tape, I believe any man would get excited watching a porno (even his wife) and masturbate. Where your store let me down was you didn't date the film. The photo's were dated to their break-up but just because she had shot hair in the video didn't date it as the same time.

Now, bad me got the feeling that with his wife catching him (red handed (Rosie palm)) that if you do a follow up and because you cut it short it does need you will take this down the cuck road (wither this was before marriage or post).

With your explanation of her video sex apparently they have never achieved that and if it was before the wed then she will seek it out during the marriage. Why not give it a twist and make it her long lost twin and she is still true to him (a real loving wife).

Pretty good. You should continue. Ashley needs to find another big cock.

So where is the rest of it? Finish the dam story! Without a proper finish: 3*.

This is the type of story that I like and tend to gravitate to. It was very well told.

I enjoyed this story, although it left me wondering at the end.

The descriptive scenes were arousing, and brought enough tension and intrigue to find out if the video was made during their breakup, before their marriage or during their marriage. Part 2 is required!

Better than ok really, but this a mere snapshot. Does he confront his wife for the lies?Does he now want to be a cuck? Is there a follow on?

If this is stand alone, then way too little information. If there is going to be a chapter 2, then say so and you still need to give the reader enough info to decide whether or not to follow your story. I personally prefer to avoid cuck stories and like moderate btb stories. I have no clue where this might go so I am not likely to specifically look for a followon.

That being said, your prose shows you can write.

...though a bit embarrassing for Mike and Ashley. Damn, who will be pissed off, or excited enough to make good things happen to make their lives better? I hope for some fun times ahead.

cool - we all wonder about those "break up times" with our wives... this is cool..

But you left us hanging .Was she mad sacred ,was he pissed .It felt like a ruined orgasm . Did they end up split up what happens now

Very well written. You've done a nice job conveying enough detail and background to allow the reader to get some understanding of what Mike is thinking and feeling as he makes his discovery. There is a nice blend of elements that could create a delicious stew of eroticism, angst, jealousy, and insecurity.

This does a nice job of setting the stage for a multi-chapter story where Mike confronts his wife about what he has learned, why she has hidden so much from him, why she doesn't seem to enjoy sex with him with nearly the passion she showed on this tape. Where Ashley confronts Mike for masturbating to what he was viewing even though he claims to be upset about it. For some arguing, fighting, painful days or weeks, followed by some effort by the two of them to work through it all. And then where do they go from there?

Please continue this story. It is a great start.

She is bored with you .so do you learn and make her your sex slave,take her make her suck you too. Or does this kill your marriage ,with its boring sex. Need a finish here.new writer.

But don't stop there. And please, don't make him a spineless cuck.. It's time he take back his dignity. Time to take his wife like he should have from the start.

Seeing your wife how she is with another man is a very rare thing that only a small percentage of men are lucky enough to experience. It can definitely be an eye opening experience.

I was fortunate to have found a video much like this of my wife. It was of her and her ex. But unlike most of them in these stories, it didn’t show her with a guy with a bigger cock. Nor was she doing things with him that she didn’t do with me. He actually was a couple inches smaller than me and to be honest, not a very good lover. I guess I can see one reaso why he is her ex. Even so, it was still hot as hell to watch her in her own personal porn video. I’ve watched it about a hundred times and still enjoy it.

The DVD was about when she was free of commitments, but showed a totaly different woman. Instead of being pissed by his wife hiding her real self, he after all was hiding his real self: being a wimp and a cuckold. So a part 2 will be even worst that this one. The better solution? To end this bad story here.

The needs to be more. You need to explore the feelings of betrayal the husband has over the video and the circumstances behind and leading up to it. You need to explore his feeling of betrayal that his wife has been a sexual prude to him, but a wanton slut on the video. Are there more videos of her being this way? Does she actually love him? Is she just not turned on by him? Does he have a small dick or does he just not have the sexual knowledge to excite her since she has been the only woman he's had sex with? Is she having affairs behind his back? And what happens next since he found the video? Being a guy myself, I know that my sudden knowledge that I couldn't satisfy my life long love like someone else could would totally devastate me to where I would never be able to touch her again and completely ruin the relationship. A man's ego thing there. What about her controlling nature over bedroom activities that was mentioned? What happens next now that he's seen her complete and wanton betrayal? Divorce? Reconciliation? Please continue the story. You have given us a great beginning to hook us, now take us to the next chapter.

That was great beginning.

Down deep we always know that when our gf take a break that they were out "finding themselves".

Your story made me wonder so good job

Look forward to reading the remaining of the story.

This was a first effort and you should improve as you write more stories. We all hope you do.

This was poorly written and do not accept any statement to the contrary. You have no dialogue. It reads like an engineer writing a tech manual. There is zero emotion and no actual plot. Add it all up. Very poor writing, no dialogue and no emotion. Not a good total.

Read other stories, especially from the Hall of Fame. They make you angry, happy, annoyed, or maybe all of those emotions. Notice the dialogue. Notice they have a point, or purpose to the story. Even try the LW boilerplate story, just for some practice and experience. Do NOT add a second chapter to this "story".

AMerryman 2.0

But it's incomplete and the narration was repetitive. Also you seemed more interested in going straight to jerking off without exporting how Mike felt. His wife has lied to him for over 10 years and made sex a chore. Maybe she loves him but until the video, she was just a cardboard cutout, talking about love but not really loving him....how do you think he should feel knowing his wife, the love of his life, betrayed him. And is she still cheating? Because clearly HE isn't doing it for her, so where is she getting it and and are the kids even his?

These are legitimate questions Mike should have asked but instead you turned it into a cuck fest.

...and it still could go in many directions. She clearly loved him enough to marry and stay married for ten years, so learning whether she had other bad experiences or chose love and security over crazy sex, and resolving her lies about not being with others, and knowing whether she has cheated since marriage would be interesting to me. There's also hints of weakness and cuckolding, but there's so much of that here already, and they have kids already.

If it ends here then it's a lousy story. Because it's unfinished. His girlfriend/wife has been lying to him. She has settled for him as a husband and in the future will probably be looking for someone to satisfy her real urges. But we don't know what will happen because the story is unfinished. And I HATE unfinished stories.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt. No rating until we see where you take it. You've stumbling toward another cuck story. Don't fall off that cliff.

Four stars because it's your first submission. Enjoyed the story line until the end. Then disappointed when it ends abruptly with no closure or denouement. It's not uncommon for writers to force the reader to imagine one's own ending. However like myself, many readers prefer an ending with closure preferably a happy one. I could easily give you my imagined plot end, but prefer you do it in a following chapter. Please do keep writing.

Mike came to know about old secret of his wife Ashley,it is very erotic

Even now if he secretly follow his wife and keep watch ,

many more secret will come to light.

After all "old habits die hard"

I certainly hope that this will not be the end of this story. I want (no, I need) to know what happens next. You simply cannot leave us hanging with no resolve to this account. There has to be more.

I disagree with Anonymous saying he is a wimp and a cuck. He just found the DVD and finds his ex-girlfriend having sex with another guy . That fact does not make him a wimp or a cuck. To be a cuck she would have to be having sex with another guy a the present time while married. As far as being a wimp remains to be seen. After being caugh watching the DVD he could tell her it was hot and then have her explain why she lied to him and does not allow him the same treatment. Would be interesting to hear her reasons or bullshit explanation.

Thank you for a great story and one well written. I think there is a lot of room for this to develop in different ways. He could be a budding Dom or allow his wife to room to see a dominant man or this same guy again if he can be found. The only bad thing is waiting for part 2

I enjoyed the details you included with your story. Although it would be more believable or better if the wife had done some of these things with her husband. It is hard to believe that she is so vanilla with him. I am looking forward to your other stories. Maybe she has done these the other things with her husband but not as often or not recently. In his mind she just doesn't do these things with him since it has not happened very often of has been a long time since she has been anything other than vanilla with him.

Also, don't worry about the idiots who come on here and don't like the "loving wife" subject. I will never understand why they just come here if they don't like these sort of stories.

Can't wait for the next story.

This unfortunately, is just a bit of tawdry history of his wife before she was. Other than that, there really isn't anything beside a short flash. Too bad.

Too questions left unanswered. was she willing? was she drugged? How did she end up with the DVD? What about the arguement that is bound to happen next?Yx2

Please complete this story, as it is definitely unfinished

Double Wowee!......Caught with the hand on the little pee wee!....Would love to hear His excuse to that one!......Would she be angry or embarrassed?......I suppose we will never Know?.....But will Hubby be able to pull Himself out of this one Hmmmmm!?....Was his wife ever happy with his Peanut? THE STORY I LOVED IT.....★★★★★ WOOF!

Not really well written but it may have potential.

There must be a reason why Ashley kept the DVD and my guess is because she wanted to be able to relive the experience. What will Mike do? First talk to his very proper and controlled wife to learn about her deeper needs and then make her choice between remembering the excitement of the past and living the reality of the present the way she and Mike can create

Stories have a beginning, a middle and an end. You've written a beginning including a well described sex scene. Now comes the tougher part the middle and an ending. Interaction between the two main characters is paramount. I suggest dialogue between them instead of more narrative. There is a good basis for anger/lust/angst/tension/humor/reconciliation/understanding/misunderstanding and even expanding the character base if you so decide.

In LW you can't please everyone so be prepared for attack mode from those who disagree with whatever your characters may or may not do. No matter how well you write the story, if your character's actions don't meet with the approval of whichever subset of readers that are offended they will 1-bomb and insult. Stay your course.

You've hit on one of the best hooks here in LW. The emotions involved in finding your loving wife appeared to enjoy sex more with someone else. This is a punch in the gut to most men. Certainly, both men and women will agree there is much more to a successful long term marriage than being your spouse's best ever. Most of us even realize that our spouse has had or could have better. But actually seeing it and then dealing with the resulting emotional turmoil is what makes for an outstanding tale. You could go down the slut wife or cuck paths, but that is all to common here, and frankly, not realistic enough to generate the best stories.

now what? Is she still doing the guy or others like him?. Does he confront her??? Does she cheat on him? Are the kids his?? Still a lot of story to write!!

Gave it a 4 for first effort. Take the advice about adding dialog in Part 2.

Mike is not the type to be defeated.

Thank you to everyone who commented, the positive and negative. I always appreciate constructive criticism, it is how we become better.

can't wait for chapter 2. My only suggestion might be to switch to first person and let us see the emotional turmoil this is sure to bring.

Great opening. So many directions this could take. Look forward to more.

He never noticed the drastic change in his girl friend's personality, attitude toward sex, and loss of respect for him as a lover? He never noticed his wife arriving home, coming up to the attic?

This guy is so clueless and unaware its probable that Ashley has been fucking other men since before they got married, just so she could get some sexual completion. All she needs the husband for is to pay the bills, and pretend to be her children's father.

And watching his wife play the slut for a superior man gives this supposed husband an erection? The only surprise is why Ashley ever came back to this pussy boy. I just wonder what really got him horny, the actions of his wife, or the sexual excitement aroused by her big cock lover? I suspect Ashley has been giving him pity fucks ever since she came back to the loser. Maybe now she'll let him clean up her lover's cock when she's done getting fucked. I bet pussy boy can't wait.

Great story.

A BTB or Fuck Off

Do it your way, NorthernExposure.

I never cease to be amazed at the way so many members of the commentariat insist that authors should write stories with characters doing things they think should be done, rather than what the author intends them to do.

Typical is "You've stumbling toward another cuck story. Don't fall off that cliff." from 26thNC.

Why not produce another cuck story if that's what the author intends to do? What right does 26thNC or any other commenter think they have to tell authors what should happen in their stories? It's the author's story, not the reader's. If the author likes cuck stories, then the author should write what he or she likes.

Do it your way, NorthernExposure, not theirs.

Lue

but you realize the meat of the story is in how the husband handles the newly acquired information. How does the wife react? You foreshadowed the wife hasnt been herself sexually since they broke up. Why is that? What is her point of view?

AS you can see, you are not going to get full marks and kudos for an incomplete story.

“Did you like my audition tape?” she asked with a smirk.

“Audition?”

She nodded. “That guy had little porn movie company. They made cutest films! So funny, not all stupid and raunchy like other porn.”

My jaw dropped. “You auditioned for porn?!”

She giggled. “I did more than audition. I starred in six films! It was so much fun! And the guys ... oh my god ... they were so hot!”

Are Ashley and Mike having just vanilla sex because that’s all she’ll ever allow, or because she wants him to take more, and he will not or cannot do so?

This story is set up to communicate to him what she really wants. Will he get a clue?

Keep writing! Great first story!

please please please dont make this guy a bitch, do something original

I really enjoyed the story, the husband's angst of seeing his wife having sex with another man. I would much preferred it to have been told in the 1st person, though. Still gave it a 5 but could have been better. Anxious to read Chapter 2.

He's already a cocksucker by proxy

Good beginning. Without a continuation it cannot be rated. Please continue...

Wow this is a new wrinkle in the unfaithful wife category. I applaud your imagination. There is a catch, though. You have opened a door into a life and set of feelings and now you have to walk us through and show us what comes next. This could go on for several chapters. How do they relate after this? He has to feel threatened and angry. She could be shocked by him masturbating to the video. I hesitate to give other scenarios because I want to see where you take us.

Warning! If you don't continue this you are a regrettable wanker. So put on your thinking cap and lead on!

R.

This is the simple reality of a girl who deep down knew she wanted to marry him but never experienced anyone else and most likely her slut girlfriends convinced her to break up with him for the summer so it’s not cheating and sample some new dick than go home while he begs you to get back with him. Typical and happens often but I would never trust that she was faithful because when they do that either she was really done or didn’t want to feel like she was cheating so she breaks up . My big problem is over a decade of lying and hiding this with friends knowing about it and her feeling the need to keep it in his home with her. So he hearted off to it it’s porn and she caught him but that doesn’t mean he still shouldn’t go fucking off on her. I know I’d be looking at divorce, defanatly not going through with the bigger home and a Hugh conversation to be had. I would never trust her again and would question all their years together. She could never prove she was faithful all along and even if I didn’t believe it I’d have the kids dna tested just to piss her off. On top of all that he has to deal with he has to take stock in her actions in the tape and think about how she never does or allows anything like that with him. She’s denied him a fun good sex life but acted like a pig for others . There life will never be the same if they stay together even if she opens up sexually it will just be because she was caught. Let’s see where you take this and hopefully it’s not with him being ok and letting it go. I know if I was married 25 happy years and than found out she cheated 20 years back with one guy even if it was a one time thing I’m pretty sure I’d still leave because all those years would be a question. They only way around a very difficult reconciliation is a admitting it after it happens and try to fix together because once you find out a secret she kept than the trust is gone , for me and many I know who have voiced this similar opinion.

I loved the story keep it going

You should bring the tape to wife and have her perform like she did on the tape

for you this time.

By far the hottest story I have read this year. Brought up feelings of similar struggles many have as we age in marriage. I look forward to the next chapter. I hope that it will not be cuck but more of a growth of their mutual sexuality with possibly other involved.

Not a bad first effort but NE's craft needs improvement. Good to hear more is in the offing, and NE will become a better writer with time.

The number of comments tell me there is a lot of latent interest in cuckoldry. Wish fulfillment fantasies, I expect, especially from those who complain the loudest. Keep at it, NE. Takes guts to post here.

Here's a clue, Lue. He has the same right to post a comment trying to dissuade the author from making this into cucky crap as you have a right to post a comment trying to bitch at and lecture him about it. You ain't nothing special, Lue, get the fuck over yourself. Oh and by the way, you know when authors say "feedback is welcome"? Think about what that statement means, if you're not to busy slurping fuck know whose jizz out of your wife's clam.

I have to admit that I envisioned Ashley with a large black man.

Good start for first story. Could use an editor. Please keep writing.

As you say "He has the same right to post a comment trying to dissuade the author from making this into cucky crap as you have a right to post a comment trying to bitch at and lecture him about it."

And the author has the same right to not do what the commenter wants as I have to not do what you want.

Lue

Ps: Regarding the last part of your comment, I don't have a wife so I can't do as you suggest.

It was hot.. But a little cucky. He has a decision to make. Forgive and continue trust his wife..... Or cute her loose for being a lying bitch.

Will be interesting to see what he does.

the first time a girl/woman walks away from a relationship with you, she's dead to you. Never take her back.

Clearly there are two bitches in this marriage.

As another one commented, good to get an editor involved or re-read the text yourself to see if you want changes. Definitely like where this is going. Don't let self appointed 'art critics' tell you how to write. And please, keep writing. Oh, and, yeah, it was the data DVD. Not the Tape. All good.

so she could cheat on him and keep her conscious clear?

Also, never trust a woman who wont do for you sexually everything she did for any guy before you

HELLLLL YES!

This story has possibilities, but you need to write of the consequences of the discovery.