All Comments on 'The Toy Ch. 00: Prologue'

Dear NotTrumanCapote. Believe me when I say this is written purely as constructive criticism and not trying to denigrate you or your efforts to write. I say this because I have read a lot of stories on Literotica but have never submitted anything to this site. With that out of the way, I will admit I didn't read any farther than the first two paragraphs and the first sentence in the third. There are so many stories on this site, and so many choices for a reader to engage in, you really have to be careful not to confuse or aggravate your audience. You start out by stating you 'only discovered you like to be dominated about 10 years ago' and then in the very next sentence you say, 'this was around 12 years ago'. Which was it, 10 years or 12 years? The next point was the first sentence of the third paragraph. "I and Steph...." Steph and I. Unfortunately you lost me at this point. Two recommendations; carefully proof read your work to eliminate "easy" errors and, of course, have someone else read and edit your final draft. Good luck in the future and don't be discouraged over the comments from an old English major with too much time on his hands! Best wishes.