The Turd Knife

Hannah entered the bathroom and saw Teah standing at the sink cleaning something with a wash cloth. Teah was wearing only a white bra and matching granny panties.

Hannah got a look at the object and quickly determined that it was a piece of culinary cutlery, because her mother was buffing the strain-free blade to a mirror shine.

"What are you doing?" Hannah asked.

Teah held up a 3 inch paring knife with a bright yellow handle like she was the official tableware inspector.

"Cleaning the turd knife," Teah answered.

Hannah took a moment to envision what that knife was for; she imagined the blade smeared with fecal residue.

First the gun now this, Hannah thought. You carry around a paring knife to chop up your poop? That's so unsanitary.

"Ana called," Hannah continued. "She wants to know if we're still carpooling."

"Yes we are," Teah put the wash cloth down.

"Why do they have to come too?"

"Because we are all performers. This mansion party is just as important as any industry party."

Teah took her striped black and grey bodycon dress, put it over her head, slid her arms into the sleeves and pulled it down over her curvy figure. She stepped into her black ankle wrap peep toe platform heels.

Hannah used a laundry lint roller on her short sleeve black bodycon t-shirt dress with white contrast taping at the sleeve hems and the crew neck. She zipped up the side zipper of her black sneaker-style lace-up booties.

Teah and Hannah stood before the full body mirror.

"We look like sisters," Hannah noted.

"Good," Teah said. "The younger I feel, the better."

----------------------------------

Teah and Hannah stopped by a convince store for cold drinks before they picked up Ana and Kenya and drove to the mansion party at a luxury home located in Potomac.

The host of the mansion party was a colleague of adult film producer Neil David named Leno Manibus. Leno was flanked by his curvy Latin mistress, a supermodel known as Libuma, who was nicknamed "Cakes".

Upon hearing Leno's full name, Ana quickly deduced that Leno Manibus was Latin for "pimp hand".

Kenya stayed close to Hannah, since they were around the same age. Ana stayed with Teah to make certain Teah wouldn't pull her handgun on any men who tried her.

Teah admired the extraordinary European style manor with its pillowed marble floors, spectacular chandeliers, and an exquisite circular stairwell with custom iron railings.

It was the dream home that Teah always wished her ex-husband Hance would have bought for her.

In her youth, Teah had dreams of building an empire with her then husband, and then making love on top of the money they made doing so. Then, motherhood happened, and a bunch of other shit that flushed Teah's dreams right down the toilet. The divorce was the toilet lid closing.

Leno and Cakes approached Teah as she stood near the circular stairwell holding her drink. She was watching Hannah and Kenya across the way in the den area.

"Madam Dookie," Leno proclaimed favorably.

Teah turned to them like a runway model.

"Mister Leno, Mistress Cakes. A pleasure."

"So, what brings you to Montgomery County?"

Teah's eyes searched the den for her daughter, but she only saw Kenya flicking the screen of her cellphone.

"What brings every adult film star to Potomac?"

Teah held up her half glass of screwdriver.

"Why'd you bring the kids?" Cakes asked Teah.

Leno glared at Cakes, but awaited Teah's reply.

"Hannah is grown," Teah answered Cakes. "She's a model on my website and a fellow webmaster."

"Heard she isn't meeting her quota," Cakes said.

"Where'd you hear that?" Teah asked.

"Online," Cakes continued her unprovoked assault on Teah's reputation. "It's all over the message boards that Lady Deuce isn't meeting her quota. Meanwhile you're busy making videos fucking your daughter's ex-boyfriend."

Leno thought that Teah was about to throw her drink on Cakes, but Teah raised her glass, drank down the rest of her screwdriver and placed the glass on a tray nearby.

"You see a lot," Teah said calmly. "Too bad you don't see the danger in your back alley butt injections."

Leno turned only his head to Cakes.

"Mistress, can you hunt down that caterer and find out why we don't have any fruit skewers in the lounge?"

Cakes uttered something in Latin before she left.

"Fruit skewers?" Teah asked.

"There are vegans here," Leno professed. "Have you considered the vegan lifestyle?"

"Who wants to eat plants all day?" Teah asked.

"No, no. Vegan means eating clean. Eating healthy."

"Are you a vegan?"

"Five years straight, and I'm never going back."

"What's the deal with Fake Cakes?"

"Don't pay her any mind. Her scat site got shut down, because she decided to recruit her 17 year old niece."

"All performers must be 18 and over," Teah repeated a site disclaimer. Then, she uttered, "Stupid bitch."

"So, let's get down to business. How much would you charge to shoot a toilet slavery video with my models?"

Teah looked to the den and finally saw Hannah near the patio door talking to a man that Teah hadn't seen since before Hannah was born. Teah heard her stomach gurgle and felt an air pocket in her rear end expanding.

"Would you excuse me?" Teah asked.

Teah quickly started walking over to where Hannah was standing. Along the way, she bumped into Ana.

"What's up?" Ana asked.

"I don't fucking believe it! It's him!"

"Who?" Ana asked again.

Teah pointed to a black man in a business suit.

Ana nodded and said, "I thought he looked familiar."

Hannah smiled as he opened the patio door for her.

"Motherfucker," Teah increased her pace, her peep toe platform heels clicking on the marble floor, farts popping from her butt as it bounced in her striped bodycon dress.

Teah threw the patio door open making it slam into the stop at the end of the tract. She positioned herself right in front of the man in the suit, blocking his view of Hannah.

"What's good?" asked the dapper black man.

"You stay away from her," Teah growled like a hungry mama bear. "You won't scam her like you did me."

"Mom, what are you doing?" Hannah asked.

"Mom?" asked the black man.

Then, he studied Teah carefully. Her round face, her swooping breasts, her tapered waist line, her roomy hips, and that lovely, inverted heart-shaped ass.

"Teah Saunders?" asked the black man.

"You know her?" Hannah asked the man.

Teah shoved Hannah back toward the patio door.

"Go inside."

Teah waited for Hannah to link up with Kenya again.

"What's wrong?" asked the black man.

Teah turned back to him, eyes fiery.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Candy Randy?"

It was Randle D. Hawker, a former talent rep of Truffa Management, and also Teah's former classmate from high school who tormented Teah on the school bus.

Randy was actually impressed with Teah compared to the last time he saw her. Her once chemically treated hair was now up in an afro bun, the gap in her two front teeth was closed up. But, her body was very much the same.

"I'm here on behalf of Hawker Talent Management."

He hasn't changed a bit, Teah thought, feeling the head of a seriously thick poop pickle burrowing its way down to the dentate line of her anus. Still a scammer to the end.

"Hawker Talent Management," Teah repeated it.

Randy smiled showing straight white teeth. If he wasn't such a scumbag, Teah would let him fuck her just for looking so debonair and smelling so damned good.

"That's your daughter?" Randy asked.

"You're no talent rep," Teah said. "You scammed me out of six hundred dollars. I wonder how much money you've stolen from other people over the years after you promised them fame and fortune."

"Don't be bitter. I didn't make you pay me."

"You took my money and ran. I'm not going to let you trick my baby girl with your talent scam bullshit."

Randy looked to the patio door as it opened.

"Why don't you tell him that?"

Teah turned and saw Leno approaching.

"Is there a problem?"

"Not at all," Randy said confidently. "I was just telling Teah here how I'm going to make her daughter a star."

"He's a con artist," Teah told Leno. "He's only here to recruit talent to pay into his pyramid scheme."

"It's against the law to call my company illegal."

"I didn't say it's illegal. I said it's a scheme."

Leno looked to Randy, and then remembered him.

"Yeah. Randle Hawker. You've been coming to my parties for some time now. Is what she saying true?"

"We met at an industry party back in the day. She was desperate for an agent, so she flashed me."

"She flashed you?" Leno asked Randy.

"I showed him my butthole," Teah answered.

The mention of "butthole" caused the sweat glands of Teah's anus to pump oodles, wetting her perianal skin.

Leno saw the look of disgust on Teah's face and took out his cellphone. He quickly pulled up a search engine.

"What's your company called?" Leno asked.

"Hawker Talent Management," Teah quickly answered for Randy. "Check the Better Business Bureau."

"Yes," Randy said, confident. "Check it."

Leno scrolled through the said page.

"Looks like Hawker Talent Management has an A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau."

Randy grinned at Teah, arms folded to his chest.

"Still think it's a scam?" Randy asked Teah.

"Yes," Ana answered, approaching with her cellphone in hand. "I thought I recognized this piece of shit."

"Do I know you?" Randy asked Ana.

"No, you don't. But, I do remember you from the last wallet-gouging modelling agency you ran." Ana showed her cellphone to Leno. "That A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau is bullshit. His scam company isn't even BBB accredited. Check Rip-off Report dot com."

Teah and Leno took a moment to check the websites that Ana mentioned. Leno thinned his eyes and glared at Randy, showing Randy his cellphone display.

"Mr. Hawker, care to explain why your company has 723 complaints claiming that it's a recruiting scheme?"

"They're all haters," Randy said nervously.

"All of those people aren't lying," Ana said. "He's a scammer, Leno. He's here trolling for marks."

Teah felt soild poop filling up her rectum.

Leno pointed at Randy with a grim look.

"You need to leave."

"Mister Manibus, wait."

"723 complaints?!"

"You're not going to listen to them, are you?!"

"Good bye, Randle. And don't come back."

"They defecate for money! You'd believe some feces-loving camwhores over a legit businessman?!"

Leno took a step forward, causing Randy to back up.

"You'd better get the fuck off of my property, or I'm going to have the FTC's boot so far up your ass, you'll need a rape kit to just to deal with the pending litigation!"

Randy continued backward, turned, darted away across the back lawn, and vanished around the corner.

"Well done," Ana said to Leno.

Leno noticed that Teah was trembling, but she was really just bobbing in place, because she needed a toilet.

"You okay?" Leno asked.

Teah cut a loud bark fart.

"I gotta take a dookie."

"She's about to pop," Ana nodded.

"Do you have a bathroom with privacy?" Teah asked.

"There are nine bathrooms here. Take your pick."

"No," Teah said, desperate to go. "A bathroom that's secluded, away from the rest of the guests."

Leno looked to Ana for concise clarification.

"She doesn't want everybody smelling her shit."

"For a woman who willingly poops on camera, I find that hard to believe." Leno pointed to the house. "I have a private half bath in the vestibule of the gallery. Cakes will show you where it is. Just don't make a mess in there."

Teah removed her heels when she got back inside and followed Cakes while Ana got her sports cam ready.

The half bathroom had a vessel sink on top of a cabinet that looked like it cost at least 2 grand, an open stand-up shower was straight out of a health club, and a high-end duel flush toilet that reminded Teah of a dolphin's head.

When Teah stepped in place, getting her dress up, Ana decided to use the shower as her shooting angle.

Ana started recording when Teah got her panties off.

"I'm at a big mansion party," Teah spoke softly to the camera only wearing her bra, "and I've really gotta go." She turned around. "I've been groundhogging." Teah leaned forward and spread her butt cheeks. "Look."

Ana got in close as Teah breathed out.

The turd was right there on the edge, flanked against a nice juicy hemorrhoid at the top of Teah's anal opening.

It was a shiny, tawny wad that looked like a cinnamon twist with specks of yellow, green and red in the surface.

The odor was unimaginable. Possibly the worse aroma Ana ever inhaled, but she kept on filming.

Teah released her buttocks letting them clap together and jiggle. She loved the feeling of her turd right there on the edge, scratching the walls of her rectum, like a trash bag filled to the brim so much that the draw string couldn't close around the waste trapped in her shit sheath.

"I can smell that stinky turd," Teah teased. "It's got a powerful odor. I wish you nasty boys can smell it."

Bitch, just shit so we can edit it, Ana thought.

Teah sat on the toilet, leaned forward and opened her cheeks again. She pushed on that thick log, letting it prairie dog, making a sound like a spoon stirring macaroni salad.

"I'm going to dookie now," Teah said, and let the stool slowly slide out of her anus. It hung out with a slight curl and dangled at 3 and a half inches. "Look at that thick tube of shit. It won't even break off. Watch."

Teah stood, cheeks spread open, and bounced up and down a bit, making the fecal tail she just grew flap like a dancing inflatable tube man by the roadside.

The turd moved downward and curled inward toward her vagina, tickling her vulva lips as the stool lightly grazed them. The log broke off, making her anus messy. She pinched off the remaining shit with her turd cutter.

Teah let her cheeks clap together when she released them. She felt a smidgen of shit cream between her cheeks, but she didn't bother to wipe herself.

"Come look at this log," Teah said to the camera.

Ana aimed the sports cam down into the toilet at a huge poop python resting on the surface of the bowl.

Teah took the sports cam from Ana.

"Look at this masterpiece I created."

Ana took this time to leave, before she vomited from the overwhelming stench of Teah's bowel movement.

"No way this'll go down in one flush. Watch."

Teah hit the button on top of the toilet tank. Water washed around the stool, but only nudged it a bit, creating a horrid smear on the water surface area.

"This is where I break out my trusty Turd Knife."

Teah went into her bag and fished out the paring knife with the yellow handle. She chopped up the stool into nice, even sections, and even inspected bits of undigested food.

"I had a really good meal. Here's some corn, skin from a cherry tomato, and a spec of spinach."

Teah hit the button again; sections of her stool moved closer to the trapway. She hit the button once more and watched everything she deposited into the bowl go down.

Teah turned off the sport cam and put her bodycon dress back on. She used toilet paper to clean the blade of her Turd Knife before putting it back into her bag.

Teah washed her hands, grabbed her bag, picked up her heels and left the half bath feeling much better.

Cakes and a few other models watched Teah leave the bathroom barefoot to meet up with Ana. They waited for Teah to leave before they went into the half bath.

Screams of disgust followed by loud laughter went up the moment Cakes opened the bathroom door.

Cakes rejoined Leno in the den area where he was talking to only Teah. After Teah shook hands with Leno and left, Cakes took Leno out on to the patio.

"We need to talk," Cakes said.

"What's wrong?" Leno asked.

"You shook her hand after she took a shit?!"

"She's shooting with me," Leno said. "She's doing a video at a hotel with her daughter first."

"Papi, you cannot have her back in this house again."

"Why not?"

"She destroyed that bathroom! She stunk it up so bad, we're going to need hazmat suits to go in there!"

"Cakes, she had to go."

"Leno, she plays with her poop!"

"Do you see me getting all grossed out when you make videos smearing your period blood on your body?"

Cakes simmered down, recalling her own dirty clips.

"Baby, that's different."

----------------------------------

On the way home, after dropping off Ana and Kenya, Teah and Hannah stopped by a hotel to make reservations where they'd do their next video shoot.

They had their eyes on a soul food buffet where they'd go to bound themselves up, hoping to produce monster bowel movements that would drive sales on the website.

Hannah farted, forcing Teah to roll down the windows.

"Cakes was really hatin' on you, mom."

"She's still a baby. I ain't payin' her no mind."

Hannah stared at her mother, looking beyond her age and into her soul, wondering how and why the woman that gave birth to her ever got to fucked up.

"Mom, would you ever want to be young again?"

"Hannah, I used to dream of finding a way to freeze my age at 25 years old. Then, life happened."

"You never wanted to go back an relive your 20s?"

"Would I want to be young again? Hell no. Even if I went back, I would still fuck it all up. Changing yourself takes time. That's the good thing about being grown."

That's some deep shit, Hannah thought. You almost sound like an intelligent person and not like a dick-chasing bobble head.

"Guess there's wisdom in growth," Hannah replied,

"When you're down, can't go nowhere else but up."

Hannah stared at Teah for a moment, impressed with her mother's astute words and modest demeanor.

"You look like a wise old grandmother," Hannah said.

"Good," Teah said. "The older I am, the better."