All Comments on 'The Unspeakables Ch. 01'

the best stories are allways the ones where it just happens or if there is a lot of secrecy abut in them

this is one of those

I think this story has some potential. Hope they are able to get together for a long period ot time.

This is a very good start! There's lots of ways you can develop this story. I hope you've got some plans to continue - look forward to the next instalment.

This story needs continued, preferably without birth control being used as if to say that they are too young to understand what they are really doing, except for physical gratification.

Always proof read, you have a problem with choosing what person to write in. You wrote in the first person then went third person. Very distracting. Keep writing it is the only true way to improve.

A great story. I hope you do continue with more. Its straight forward to the point and a time saver for people who don't have time to read a novel. I enjoyed the different view from both the sister and brother.

very amateurish and immature- but very enjoyable

Very direct and to the point, many ways to develope this plot.