All Comments on 'The Unwanted Swap Ch. 01'

Too long (and I love long stories...)

Too many twists, it's obvious Rose has begun an emotional relationship.

Lost me at page 7

1☆

Why is he not filing for divorce from this woman who has no respect for him and carried out a long term emotional affair behind his back? If there is a part 2 we'll find it was physical as well.

Good tale!

I give it a 5 for the writing. But you did mix up names -- Claire instead of Rose in a couple places (pg. 12).

There is your usual jealous, insecure male character. At least, that's how Rose and Claire perceive Eddie. But, thus far, you seem to be showing that he's not really jealous and insecure. That's a twist!

Always like your stories, even if I hate them. Know what I mean?

Looking forward to see where you're going to take your tale.

I hope part 2 comes quickly

A master piece , great job

Awesome. Detailed, realistic, good character depth. Can't wait to read part two.

Everyone in this is pathetic and have no sorrow for anyone.

I am not going to score yet.

I only read the first 2 pages and then jumped to the last.

I seem not to want to read the entire pages so I jumped to the last page.

WHAT IS CLAIRE'S PROBLEM???!

Of course Tony is having vaginas all over the place -- THEY HAVE AN OPEN, SWINGING MARRIAGE for goodness sake!!

AND WHAT IS CLAIRE DOING WITH EDWIN in BED??!

/

Edwin is a bit wimp with Rose. Even if I am a Christian, I have temper too. When they left the party in page 2, with Rose cursing Edwin because of his insistence to leave -- if I were Edwin, I would toss her out of the car and scream at her to go back if she wants to sex the entire party but to not come back home ever.

/

Like I said I won't score this -- maybe I will give time to read the whole story and then score.

Yeah. Maybe.

I should have taken the hint. This is 14 pages too long for a topic that I don't like.

Why would he let Claire be around him? I don't get Eddie's character. Is he playing her? Why is he physically interacting with a married woman. Thought he is a principled man. Lost interest with that character already.

"She was only interested if you were interested. You are so damn narrow-minded you just can't see it."

The dude just told you he dunwannit!!!!

When ch.02 comes, Claire better be hit by a huge hammer to her conscience. That is the most infuriatingly stubborn character of this story. Again, why is Eddie letting her be around her?

-

Wrongly switched Claire's name with Rose several times.

Outstanding.

Guess he is going to fuck Claire but I hope it goes another way.

I usually limit myself to 10 to 15k words stories but I am running out of them so I decided to expand my horizons I am reall glad I did.

Cagivagurl, may I commend you on an absolutely fantastic story so far. Your writing style has improved immensely since your first effort on Lit, and I suspect some of it has to do with the likes of Blackrandl1958 and others helping you. But the story itself is all yours, and I'm incredibly impressed by it.

~

If I had any criticism it would be that I thought there were a few bum notes that stood out, like the fact that Tony torpedoed Eddie's initial job in Wales yet Eddie never mentioned it to Rose. Perhaps if he had then she may have thought a little deeper about Tony's motives, and I’m not sure why it was never mentioned, even to Claire if not to Rose. And how about the fact that Rose and Eddie are saving to buy their first house, yet Rose thinks nothing of shopping all day with Claire to buy lingerie and new dresses. Seemed a little incongruous to me. But what really surprised me is the age difference between the couples. I initially assumed that Rose and Eddie may have been only 10 years or so younger than the swingers at the party, but to later learn that they were still saving for a house and planning on one day starting a family meant they must have been late twenties to early thirties, or perhaps mid-thirties at the oldest. A much bigger difference than I thought, and that made Rose's desire to screw Tony a bit questionable.

~

However, these are minor quibbles and hardly detract from the story. I would have happily kept on reading and was disappointed when I got to the end of page 14 and that, I think, speaks volumes as to the interest the story generates. I’m really looking forward to see what develops with Rose, but my impression is that Eddie has moved on more than she has so reconciliation may not be on the cards (and if not, I won’t be too disappointed). It could go either way though, and that’s another reason why the story holds our interest. Five stars from me and thank you for a thoroughly engrossing tale.

Slow boil...to simmer then boiling over dam can't wait to read more hopefully not to long to wait

Keep it going

Loved it.

I thought a lot of chapter one covered the same ground, extending it for more pages than necessary. Other than that, I found an intriguing mix of characters that show a lot more range than is usually seen in the LW section. There is some serious effort in this and it is off to a pretty good start.

Great Sunday morning read, when is the next part out?

This is a great story. Hope chapter two is as good. Five stars.

The writing was amazing and I really hope this gets at least one more chapter.

Epic story, Cagivagurl. What a web you have woven. Now all the characters are scrambling to untangle themselves. Looking forward very much to part two. Nothing less than a five will do, of course. Randi.

OMG maybe Claire might wind up with this moron...or maybe Tony or Anne or Bill or Rose or someone else if only the author could keep track who they were talking about....sigh

Fourteen bloody chapters and he finishes like this. What a shithead!!!!

This story has potential

This is a brain-dead, tedious soap opera. The characters and the plot are ridiculous...and 14 fucking pages? Rose should have been deposited in the dustbin no later than page 5.

It’s a bit turgid, hard to read and stay interested in.

But l want to find out if Rose is cheating, l reckon she is and has been all along. First with Tony and then with Felix and now again with Tony. She now wants Tony.

I hope as this tale pans out Clair wakes up to herself and snares our hero and once in his arms gives up the stupid swinging for good.

Nothing good comes from swinging the stats proves the effect it has on marriages.

Thus far 4/5, but things could go downhill fast in this story. We’ll see.

There was some repetitiveness and this probably could have been broken up into a few chapters, but I am interested in this story. Look forward to the next chapter.

Please tell me there is more....

#teameddie

Why is this story being fldragged out…14 bloody pages when the whole story ( and all its parts) can finish in 5 pages? It’s just like rinse and repeat rinse and repeat! She should have been kicked out by page 2…He should ahve moved on by page 3…happily ever after by page 5…and May be some post script by page 5! Just a 3 for writing!

A 14-page ch. 1, with no indication of how long the story is or when it will be finished? No thanks, maybe come back when done.

Excellent story. 5* all the way. I can’t wait for it to continue.

great story, long, but a great story...

Love how its shaping up. You have me hooked waiting on chapter 2.... hoping it doesn't take long.

I don’t normally score a multi-part story’s first parts, because I want to see the entire work as a whole. But this was pretty spectacular. Great start.

This way waaaaay too fucking long not to have gone ahead and finished it........

What a story! 5 stars!

Damn !. This is perhaps the most compelling writing i have come across on literotica. Its not often the page vanishes and the story becomes a thing of its own, you have accomplished that here.

Very well done !

Vee

Looking forward to the rest of this story.

I will admit that the MC should have put his foot down a little harder in the beginning with his wife and her wanting to swap. But only my opinion.

I always enjoy your writing and I enjoyed this, but I felt there was quite a lot of repetition of the husband being insecure theme. He wasn't, but it was repeated by all of the players several times. We probably could have gotten the point with less. I was glad you finally got a character or two in the story that could empathize with the husband. It just took a while to get there. I will be looking forward to part 2.

Very happy to see new work from you, and especially to have a long, well-crafted story to sink my teeth into.

Quickly boring. It goes on and on and on. You could have wrapped it up in 3 pages.

I really don't understand this retarded story. 1st off, there was way too much back and forth. He should've immediately started divorce proceedings. If I had told my husband we were going to a swingers party, he would've turned the fucking car around that second. He would've had my shit pack when I fixed my mouth to tell him I wanted to bang some stranger. He would've filed for divorce when I kept trying to force him to open our marriage up and kept lying to him about things just to be sneaky. This dumbass story just got more and more ridiculous. Unnecessary back and forth with a slut wife and her equally slutty friend. who had no respect or love for her husband. 14 pages of utter bullshit nonsense. Him arguing with the other slut Claire about monogamy in a marriage. I'm confused why this was 14 pages? The story didn't go anywhere and it was so fucking BORING!. The wife clearly wanted to open the marriage up and nothing he did or say was going to change her mind. Why fight for the marriage when only 1 of them is doing the fighting? Why fight for the marriage when the person he's fighting with is his wife? They were fighting for 2 different things. He's fighting to keep their marriage and she's fighting to open the marriage. I'm just confused why he didn't immediately give up and move the hell on?. Why did this need to be 14 pages? I actually skipped a few pages cause I couldn't deal with the stupid back and forth. This guy was such a wimp it was disgusting.

Damn, sucker me in on a long tale, and then abruptly stop the chapter there.

(Shakes fist) Darn you Cagivagurl! Hurry up with Chapter 2!

Another weak, needy, dithering husband character heading toward a RAAC. Rose tells her husband as they are heading to a party that it's really a swingers' party and that she wants to fuck other men, and the host in particular, and the husband doesn't turn the fucking car around telling her that the marriage may well be over? She uses her prospective sex partner to get the husband a job offer with one of the swingers at the party without disclosing what she's doing? and on and on and on. What man would want to be married to that or, especially, have that as the mother of his children? Despite being wrapped in decent prose, the plot is stupid and utterly implausible.

I should have taken notice of the ‘chapter 1’ affixed to the title. Now 6 months to 2 years to forget this whole affair.😤😤

Keep it coming!. Don't let us wait too long. I love the way you write.

Terrific first installment! Looking forward to next part.

Always try to put myself in the protagonist’s place and, in this story, If I were Eddie, would’ve divorced Rose a long time ago. Even if she didn’t have sex with Tony, she’d been emotionally cheating on Eddie for a long, long time. Add the constant lying and I’d have kicked her to the curb (or kerb as you say in the UK LOL) much earlier.

Interesting story, but he should've divorced Rose long ago for all her deceit and disrespect.

She was having an emotional affair with Tony, who was constantly undermining their marriage. The instant that she refused to stop all contact with a man that was trying to fuck her, was the point that their marriage died. Eddie was smart to walk away, but not immediately pursuing a divorce could cost him a lot of money. Since then, Rose has had an affair with Felix, so she's totally destroyed any chance of reconciliation.

I hope Eddie wises up in the next chapter. He needs to divorce Rose asap, then just fuck Claire to get her out of his system. After that, he should start looking for a younger woman to start the family he always wanted.

Great story but don't think I like page 14 and where it is going. May be one of those you only read part 1

Looking forward to the next part.

not bad but way to long

14 pages and this is only part one??????

If this ends up with Ed together with Claire and Tony with Rose, and/or all of them going through all of this only to end up back where it started, but sharing/swapping, I'll probably barf... 🤔🤨😜

I can't wait for the next part! BTW - this was a five star effort.

Not mine. Wile I agree there is a lot of material covered more than once or twice, but there is a lot of deep nuance in your characters, and I love how closely they miss the mark with each other while maintaining their love. The fatal character flaw that keeps the plot intense has been the quickness to lie (even the little white lies and omission). This dishonesty is relentless in the women, and now Tony looks like he has been abusing a “white lie is ok” trust with Claire. Anxious to see where you go next!

Thanks for writing! Hurry with ch.02! Just for me? Puhleeeeeze?

4⭐

it's a shame but I couldn't give more.

the story is superb, I love it.

But the characters are all just plain silly, childish, childish, and obtuse.

Between liars, cheaters, manipulators, and those who cannot respect the desires, feelings, morals of others.

Why in all the stories, the swingers think that the others are immature, obtuse, without open-minded ... and want at all costs to convert them.

Where is the respect for the other?

As if we go back to the last century and try to convert gays, lesbians, bi sexual ......

None of your four main characters seemed to me (Eddie, Rose, Claire and Tony) to be kind, loving, tolerant and respectful of each other.

It's a shame for this beautiful story.

This story was entirely too long and entirely too stupid! It was a two page story that rook 14 pages to die! Is this the best you can do? Give it up and go drive a truck! DISGUSTING!

Very good read but how many times must someone say they don't want ti swap? And how many times must someone be lied to before they say enough is enough? Snd how many times does it take for someone to know they are being taken for a ride?

Good hell…..he’s a complete idiot and should have dumped Rose ages ago, but, setting that aside, this is really interesting. You may have switched names a time or two, but that’s inconsequential compared to the overall effort. I can’t believe that I am so excited for the next.

He can never get back with Rose….never. You have a habit of writing beta male characters and a reconciliation at this point with the body of evidence of emotional infidelity is impossible. He’s a jackass and stupidly set in his ways. There is no way he takes Rose back.

Wonderful story, just like your other work. Eddie knew that bastard was a sleezeball.. Maybe Eddie will get back with Rose. Story is worth more than 10 stars!!

By page five, I liked the MC a lot; he seemed consistently clear in his wishes, and wife was clearly caught lying over and again. And she surprised him with things last minute repeatedly, as well. And they clearly wanted different things in marriage. Thereafter, it felt like the same conversation over and over, with no movement forward. Felt like 7-8 pages could have gotten to this point just as well.

I want to give it more than 4 stars but somehow I get the feeling that this one will go the same direction like some of your other stories. Something along the lines 'They still love each other so much, doesnt matter how much betrayal and lies happend, he just needs to get over his 'pride'. :(

Could have cut 2 pages out of this by removing the word "bloody" from your dialogue. Is it required for the King's English?

Did I get invested in this story! The conversational language took me straight back to my youth in the Midlands of UK, with the peculiar exceptions of Realtor (Estate agent) and gum boots (wellingtons). The telling of the tale and the building of the characters were both exceptional, yes there was the odd name mix up but with a 14 pager (which imo wasn't too long) that's nothing and didn't affect this really good piece of work. Not sure where your origins are but ....ta very much. 5*

Very nice. 5 stars.

LoL! If anyone is somehow still wondering if Tony and Rose have been sleeping together, just look at the tags the AUTHOR CHOSE for the story: "cheating", "betrayal", "adultery"!

It pretty much let's the cat out of the bag all by itself!

I love your writing, but I have to read it all in one consecutive shot, or I lose the intended impact, soooo… I can’t wait for the rest of the story.

Great story. Disappointed that I have to wait for part 2. It is interesting how hard lined Eddie is, I think I am pretty much the same and it doesn't make you life any easier.

Glad I stopped reading after two pages in to read the comments. After you started insulting people in there fourties bieng only born in the 70s. With a stupid presumption that they would be listening to the doowop music from the 50s for some reason. I'm assuming your a kid from the 90s that listens to the Bee Fees from the 70s. Glad I topped reading this trippe.

Waiting, lot of build up...

14 Literotica pages (130-140 in Word) and it's only Chapter 1!?

.

Fuck that shit!

As usual.......... PERFECTION in words! 5/5+!

One of the best I’ve read in a long time.

I disagree that it’s “way too long.” I did feel like it dragged a little while Edwin and Rose remained stuck relationally—maybe a page or two too long, but no more than that. However, the story depended on Edwin’s trying and trying to get Rose to see that she was again and again choosing Tony over her husband evan as she continued to hide her relationship with Tony with her lies. Well done.

Standard cagiva male character, feeble, confused and unlikeable. Compounded by the 14 pages you took to portray that.

I can drive halfway across the country with static or two stations opposing each other on the radio. And the clock on the dash wrong, or flashing. And it means nothing to me. But, this record skipping you do in many stories is like a rash. I wish it weren’t there, but I will scratch it nonetheless.

You’ve earned a chapter 2 read.

~Enkidu

Amazing.... waiting for part 2

Cagivagurl is one of the great talents on this site.

Their stories' endings are never predictable; sometimes the MC and LW reconcile and sometimes the MC walks away. Their stories never celebrate cuckoldry, but they don't revel in making the LW suffer. Rather, they occupy a difficult space if the comments are any guide: the ambivalent middle ground. So both camps are unhappy: the cheerful cuck crowd and the BTB to the ground crowd.

As a traditional straight guy who hates cheating, this story pushes my boundaries, but in a good way.

The traditional view is certainly well-represented in the disgust and withdrawal of the MC in reaction to Rose's cheating and lying. But what makes this story interesting is that other views... other perspectives... keep popping up on the periphery, along with tough questions about forgiveness and trust.

Can't wait for Chapter 2!

Too long-winded and repetitive for my taste.

Why didn't he divorce Rose when her deception became obvious to every reader. The story so far could have been told in half the pages. Rose does love nobody but herself and Tony, especially not her husband Ed.

I'm afraid you lost me for the follow-ups.

Wow! This is an incredibly well plotted story! I got hooked very early on and couldn’t stop reading.

Can’t wait to see your finish to this story which could be an all time great! Thanks

Their all fucking cum sucking assholes.

Good tale, if long winded. Looking forward to the next chapter before scoring this one.

Way too long, needed to be ended in one episode

Excellent story, totally captivating and I can't wait for the next part!

Love it! Thank you for writing this. I cannot wait for part 2 hell i would gladly pay for part 2!

Looking forward to seeing the rest!!

51k words. Gave it a try to see how far it would hold my interest. Riveting.

This story just grew on me as it went along. Yeah….it was frustrating having to accept how STUPID Eddie was at times. And yeah how STUPID Rose was at times — especially when she pushed and pushed Eddie to go along with her desire to swing and fuck Tony — that’s Martian Slut Ray level of stupid.

And it never made sense that Rose’s job could not be done anywhere, making it possible for her to accompany Eddie to wherever he was working. But the writing was marvelous, and I’m hopelessly hooked to see how this all comes out.

4 very strong **** for this first chapter. Hope #2 doesn’t take weeks to appear!

The same premise as this writers other stories.

A weak and morally defunct husband continually asks his mindless wife not to do something and the wife shows him zero respect and totally ignores his requests.

The only real difference is the writer dragged this out for 14 page.

Sometimes I wanted to stop reading because the story was getting too long, but then my curiosity drove me on. The story is well told and really realistically understandable. For me, the marriage of the two has already failed since she asked for swapping. She already told him that she wanted to have sex with Tony. Despite his resistance, she held on to it. Now that Eddie is correct in his assumptions about Tony, there is only one connection left the one between Claire and Eddie. I am looking forward to the sequel!

Interesting plot; surprise ending. Too redundant though. The characters keep repeating themselves. Story should be edited to about half it’s current length. Reads like you are getting paid by the word.

I’m in the middle of everyone else. Story started painfully slow and I almost quit after 2 pages. The slo mo car wreck of the marriage could have been covered in a 1/3 of the space. I really liked the last 7 pages and want to find out more about the relationship with Claire.

Story is gonna turn on how he deals with her sluttyness

looking forward to the next part , 5 stars all over this , thx for sharing ,

A bit drawn out, but still a very welcomed piece among btb fantasies and cuck parade. I hope conflict would grow into something interesting

Not just "not bad", this is GREAT! It wasn't too long, it was PERFECT. I always enjoy your reads and this is turning into one of your best. I deeply respect the time and effort it has taken thus far and anxiously await part 2. [I do counter propose, contrary to your character's assertion that monogamy is something created by the church. To the contrary, it's built into our DNA. Does that mean we don't/won't stray? No, but our biology pulls us strongly toward it. Even an intimate kiss releases chemicals in our bodies that initiates the bonding process. Humans take a long to to reach an age of self-sufficiency, so staying in a committed relationship increases the likelihood of our species' survival.] 5*

Goodness you sure like to hear yourself talk! 14 pages of the same thing over and over. She is a whore ,lier,cheater and a thief. and I don't believe one word you put in her mouth. After the first party she would have been gone she already screwed him ,and all his boys. But you didn't get a divorce so he could screw Clair then go back to the whore. All your men are cuckolds all your woman are hoes

I love the consistency of a Cagivagurl story

No matter how often a woman lies cheats of steals, everyone in the universe always blames her husband

its his fault she cheat

its his fault she lies

even when the friends agree that "Yes, she shouldnt have lied to you for months on end about absolutely every thing, but really if you think about it, isnt it all your fault anyway?"

.

.

Regarding the job I would have agreed to it, on the condition that a 10 million pound bond be set up payable to me should Rose ever have any sexual contact with anyone, ever

Well written but so boringly drawn out.

The same shit was repeated page after page after page. Honestly about 6 or 7 pages would have been enough.

Please skip doing a LW version of Ground Hogs day on the next part.

Though one gripe is...no one has any brains or comes across as a decent person. Fro one thing...as is usual in LW...the husband/dad/cuck/dumb schlep is always the one who gets everything wrong. Rose is a fucking twat, Claire is a fucking twat, Tony seems like a sack of shit, the Eddie is a moron...its like they live in StupidVille.

And yes, Rose fucked Tony, repeatedly and often. Pretty sure everyone has that figured out by now.

The story itself is good, well written, so Im hoping the next chapter improves over this one.

You sure hate men all are weak. You know what's coming same old crap. He didn't file divorce papers so he will screw Clair , Then he will listen to Clair tell him about Rose andTony, and he will take her back

Great! --and well edited.