The Valentine

"After she lied to you about being pregnant and losing it? Absolutely. We could do it for less, but that clinches it. Missy! Send for my lawyer and cancel the doctor. Tell him I am sorry and I will see him reimbursed for his time. I'm sorry Garreth. I should have asked you your wishes first... but I knew. I knew you did not love her. I did not see your sadness because I was so wrapped up in my own. I imagine you even did it partially for me, a wedding to take my mind off of things. I'm sorry. I should have seen sooner."

"It's not your fault mother. You are right. I married her because her father pushed her under my nose and he was so important... I never loved her. I never even liked her. Thank you, for finally seeing and for helping me."

"Actually... thank Jack. He is the one who pointed out that she definitely wasn't pregnant. He is why I started paying attention."

"Really?"

"Yes. I guess he became adept at reading people in his line of work. I became so invested in tuning people out... I tuned my own sons out, but he saw it right away. Pointed it out to me."

"Do you like him?"

"I have known Jack a long time. He was a different man once, when we were still young, but what happened changed him. A lot. I am still deciding if I can forgive him. I care for him a great deal."

"He makes you smile. And laugh. You seem a little happier around him, but a little sadder too. It's a far off kind of sad, though."

"He brings back memories."

"Of your first husband?"

"Yes."

"You know... most people seem to think you never had any husband but father. I can't find one person who knew about your first husband."

"You won't. Not around here. That was another time and another place. Now. Let's go back in there and make this girl feel welcome in our family?" I asked him, taking his arm.

Jack gave me an alarmed smile when I came in and I looked at the woman next to him, trying to get him to talk.

"Allyrra, I see you have been keeping my guest entertained," I said softly as I sat down.

"He is very handsome for an older man," she replied, giving Jack a smoky smile.

"He is. Valery, Tommy, my apologies for the interruption. Let us toast to you both!"

We stayed up late, talking and laughing, listening to Tommy talk about how they had fallen in love. Valery was so wide eyed and shy, terrified. She held on to Tommy like a lifeline, looking up at him as he spoke with a true adoration. It was sweet and it made me think of Madison. How gentle and loving he was and how I used to watch him when he talked to others.

We moved on to the parlor, and sat up talking and laughing along with her parents, who looked a little horrified.

My attempt at breaking the ice didn't go over as well as I expected.

"Dave, I guess this means I have to sack you now," I told him and his head swung to me in horror.

"Miss! I promise you, there were no..."

"David! No, I'm teasing. I mean. I'm not teasing really. You can't work for me anymore. I will find a new driver. Actually, I will let you find me a new driver, you know more about it than I do. You and Estella will be living here of course, you are family now, after all. My family cannot also drive for me. Estella? Do you think you would like a western view or eastern? Oh, also, David... do you think you could reign Tommy in a bit on all the horses? Help him out with deciding what and how many he is going to buy? The way he talks I think he intends to buy up every racehorse he lays eyes on. You have been eyeing horseflesh for much longer, would you mind?"

They gaped at me a moment, then David gave me the same shy nod his daughter had. Estella smiled uncertainly. "I... I am a morning person I suppose?"

Tommy was grinning at me, his eyes shining.

By the time we all headed to bed, I was sore and exhausted. Jack walked up the steps next to me, watching me.

"What?" I asked, my thoughts far off about my boys.

"You. You are not as I imagined at all. Still you... but all of this. I still thought of the farm girl. Your life is still complicated. More than I imagined it would be."

"Today... was not a normal day. A lot happened today. It's not usually this exciting."

"Me arriving is exciting?" he asked, stopping next to me as I paused outside of my door.

I smiled. "Your room is the next one there."

"Next to yours," he noted, looking at my hand on the door.

"Sleep well. I will have a servant wake you for breakfast."

He chuckled as I slipped into my room.

A moment later a servant slipped in. I stood letting her undo my dress as I looked at my shelves. I stepped away and climbed up, reaching to the top shelf and pulling down an old book. I blew the dust off of it and stroked the cover lovingly as I looked at it with a smile.

"Missy? Will you take this to the guest in the blue room next door?" I asked, handing her the book.

She took it with a small curtsy and hurried out. I smiled again and blew out the lamp as I got into bed. I fell asleep thinking about Tommy and Valery and their wedding and how I was going to convince Estella to plan it and let me pay for it.

I jerked awake to a loud slam, the room pitch black. I sat up, trying to see, blinking away my sleep as I looked at the dim outline of my open door. Missy had shut it when she left?

A hand took my shoulder and pushed me down to the bed and I opened my mouth to shout as a mouth covered mine.

Jack.

He kissed me, passionate and hungry, his hands gripping me almost too tightly. He finally pulled back, breathing heavily with his face an inch from mine.

"Be glad I did not read that years ago," he said hoarsely. "I would have come for you, taken you away from this place and... done all the things in that book. Swept you away, carried you off to the woods where no one could find us and you couldn't get away and married you... Cass... I dreamed of it. All the time. I wanted to. Just taking you and showing you how good it could be!"

"It was a story, Jack, not real. And I know you would have. That's why I never sent it to you. I kept waiting for the day that you saw it in a store or found it. Expecting the letter or you in person. After a couple of years, I realized it had escaped your notice. I hid it away and rarely spoke of it."

"I knew you loved me! I knew you did!"

"I have always cared for you, Jack."

"Love. The word is love, Cass. And hah! You teased me for Cassie because of that? Jackson and Cassie living happily ever after. Cassiopia? Hah!"

"I thought you said it because you had read it. I was still C Sutton then! I could insert myself a bit and no one would know. It wasn't one of my better selling novels, so I never worried it would catch up to me."

"Cass..." he breathed, leaning in close again. He kissed me again and I stiffened.

I turned away. "I can't do this, Jack."

"Why not?" he demanded.

"Not here... not in the bed I shared with him."

He made a noise and got up, pulling me with him as he picked me up and carried me to his room. He kicked his door shut, his lamp still on with the book tossed on the bed. He set me down, sweeping it off the bed before bearing me down and kissing me again.

I let him kiss me this time, surrendering myself to him and his passion. He was full of pent up need and it showed as his hands tightened on my arm and shoulder. His body pressed against mine, his hips rolling against me. I could feel him, hard and ready through his pants and I felt excitement surge up.

His hand slid down my arm to my chest, groping my breast roughly as he squeezed and growled in the back of his throat.

"Not so hard!" I gasped, hunching away from him and wincing.

"Sorry!?!" he breathed, confused. He hardly hesitated before moving in and kissing me again. His hand moved over my breast, not squeezing but rubbing and sliding over it, then up to the neckline of my shift. He took hold and yanked it hard, ripping it open forcefully, shocking me. He kept pulling, ripping it completely open, then pressed his bare chest to mine, pulling me close.

As his hand fumbled at my underwear, tugging and yanking, I realized something. I was the only girl Jack had ever been with. His single experience had been the day he had taken me against my will. My underwear gave with a rip and he reached down to shove his breeches down.

"Slow down," I whispered softly, pulling back and grabbing his wrist.

"Cass, I need you..."

"I know. Slow down. Ease up and get up. Take off your pants and lay down. Let go, Jack. Let me go. Let me show you."

"Cass," he growled, taking my arm and rolling me back to the bed as I tried to get up.

"Let me show you..."

"No! I have wanted this moment Cass. I have needed it."

"I was only going to..."

"I know what you want to do and I don't want that. I want you," he grated, then leaned in and kissed me again.

I was confused. He didn't want me to put my mouth on him? Relax him and take away his urgency? Slow things down so we can enjoy it together? I thought he must not really know what I wanted.

I reached down to take hold of his cock and he grabbed my wrist and pinned me down.

"No Cass! I don't want that!" he growled, shoving his knee between my legs.

"Jack?" I asked urgently, fearfully.

"Shhh, it's ok Cass," he whispered, kissing my neck and jaw as he pulled my leg up around him. His hand slid down my thigh and in, his fingers touching me between the legs and pushing, rubbing, fumbling. His fingers rolled, rubbing roughly in a circle, too hard. I grimaced but let him go for a moment. His finger pushed into my slit, then into me and I gasped slightly as he growled again and kissed me again. He worked his finger in and out, no longer being rough, but I still didn't understand what he was doing.

"Jack, let me take you in..."

"Cass," he whispered. "My lovely little Cass, please," he panted.

I understood suddenly. He had hated what Sterling had made me do. He hated everything about it. He wanted to see me as innocent still, the girl he had known.

I put my free hand on his arm and held him close. "Just... not so rough? Please? I don't want it to hurt."

He slowed down, his finger moving more slowly in me as he tried to work me. His palm moved over my clit, pressing briefly and I shuddered.

"That... I liked that! Do that again, please?" I asked him.

He pressed his palm against my clit as he fingered me and rolled his palm. "Cass..." he groaned as I got wet for him. "Ohh, I have wanted this... to feel you get excited for me again. I have dreamed of it!"

"Me too Jack! It feels good! Don't stop, please?"

"You're so slick!"

"I'm close! So close, please! Just... a moment longer... Ohhh, Jack!" I cried, crying out into his arm as I came, my body twitching as my pussy cinched down on his finger.

He jerked back and I let out a wail of shock as the orgasm came to an abrupt halt.

"Cass?!? What's wrong?" he asked fearfully.

"No! No! Don't stop, I was coming!" I begged, grabbing his hand and pulling it back to my sex. "Keep going!" I pleaded desperately.

He started again, moving haltingly as he looked down at me in confusion.

"Yes! There! Ohhh... Jack... oh please please... I'm... I'm so... don't stop! Ohhhhh, please!"

"Cass!" he panted, watching me in concern.

I came again, crying out as I gripped his wrist and held him in place, bucking against his hand and fingers as my walls gripped his finger. His mouth covered mine in a deep kiss as I screamed, bliss cascading through me as I rolled against him with every wave.

"Are you hurt?" he asked as I began to go limp.

"No... no that was amazing!" I whispered.

That was all he needed to hear, it seemed, as he moved his hand and pushed my legs wide, then shoved his throbbing cock into me with a primal grunt. He grabbed my arm in one hand and my face in the other as he began thrusting. I grabbed his wrist and held on, the inferno rising up hot and fast as his cock impaled me over and over again.

It wasn't an awkward or accidental orgasm this time, it hit me hard enough to make my vision go white as my back arched and I screamed. I heard him cry out in shock, then there was only ringing as my body convulsed and locked up.

I opened my eyes to blackness and crushing weight. Sound returned and he was panting, gasping for breath, his chest pressing against my face. He pushed himself up on one arm and light returned, dimly from the lamp.

"Cass?" he managed.

"Nn?"

"You alive?"

"Nn."

"That... normal?"

"Nn."

"Didn't think so. Can you move?"

"Nn."

He dropped next to me, rolling off of me and pulling out as he did. He left an arm and a leg over me as he lay there with his chin on my head. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Nnn. Apparently you did everything right."

"Mother? Mother are you in there?"

"Garreth! I'm fine, go back to bed!"

"Missy said he was murdering you! Can I see you? Make sure you are alright?"

"I promise you I am fine! You do not want to come in here right now!"

Jack laughed and moved slightly, pulling me closer. "Is it always like that?" he asked, hice voice a little amazed.

"No," I whispered back.

"Can you step out here mother?"

"No! I can't! I can't walk right now! Go to bed Garreth! I am a grown woman!"

"Mother, you..."

"Let her get some sleep!" Jack called. "Don't worry, I'll make an honest woman of her!" he laughed.

"Mother?!?"

"Goodnight Garreth!"

Jack was laughing all out now. "I should have shoved my belt in your mouth to bite down on! I'll know for next time."

"Next time? And an honest woman? Presumptuous!"

"Confident," he countered. "So it ain't like that every time?"

"No."

"There sheets somewhere we can use to change the bed?"

I shifted, then realized I had come truly. The bed was soaked. I sighed. "We can just move to my room in a moment."

"In a moment?"

"Yes. After the halls are cleared, since someone decided to destroy my bedclothes!"

"They needed destroyin," he shrugged. "They were in the way."

"And I guess removing them was out of the question?"

"I did remove them."

"Without destroying them! Anyway... I don't think I can walk yet."

He grinned. "So all the thrashing around... that didn't hurt? And It wasn't normal?"

"No, it was normal... in a way. I... came. Like you come, but different. That's what it's like when I come. You shoot your seed, my body goes all tense and jerky."

"So it was normal."

"I've come before... but not like that... not that hard. I've even come and got everything wet before, but not usually unless... a mouth is used to make it happen. Not sure if it's because it started and stopped and started again or what. It was just... different. Bigger."

"Bigger," he repeated smugly.

I smiled, shaking my head. "It was lovely."

"Lovely ain't the word I would use," he said, moving his hand up to stroke my jaw with his thumb.

"I can imagine the words you are thinking."

"When Sterling made you do those things with..."

"I don't want to talk about Sterling or... those things. For the record, you know both times he told me to do something. You were one and I told you about the other. It never happened again. I told him no, I didn't like it. I don't understand your fixation on it."

"Because it was wrong! You were married and he was making you do things with other men. What I did was so I could marry you and show you how good I could be to you! I couldn't understand it. Can't understand it. That you could love him after that but still hated me so much."

"I didn't hate you. I don't hate you. Jack... I didn't know that about him at first, I fell for him before I knew. Thought I did. I... really don't want to talk about this right now. Can you just hold me a moment and let it be nice?"

"I intend to hold you and let it be nice the rest of our days," he said softly. "Cass... I don't... want you acting a whore with me."

I felt my face go red as anger swelled. "Is that what you think of me, Jack?" I asked dangerously.

"No. I know better, it's not what I think at all, but I know what he had you do. It kills me to think about it."

"What he and I did is NO concern of yours! At all! I am who I am and I won't pretend to be someone I am not to ease your fragile male ego! If I want to do something, I will do it! If I like something, I will say so! If you think that's whorish or you don't like it, you can walk right out the front door! I will not censor myself for you or anyone! Take me or leave me!" I yelled, jerking away from his hand and getting up. I pulled up his shirt and yanked it on before yanking the door open and going to my own room.

I slammed the door and locked it, then paced angrily.

Someone tried the door, then he knocked. I ignored him and kept pacing. There was a bang and a crack, then the door opened and he walked in. "You don't get to lock me out, Cass!" he growled, picking me up and tossing me to my bed. "When I say I don't want you coming at me with your mouth or words, that isn't too much to ask. It bothers me. All I can see is that night. How much it hurt me when I left there and argued with myself for days over whether I should save you or not. Whether you would be mad or you wanted it. Then when Eph came to me, so torn up over how bad he had lost control... And you staying there with Sterling... Yeah. I knew before you told me. I hated him. I wanted to hate you too, but I thought he had to be controlling you in some way I couldn't figure. I wondered how many times he made you do those things, how many men. I still loved you. I still love you, but dammit Cass... I can't stand thinking of you that way!"

"Then stop focusing on it! I moved on. I told him I didn't like it, to never do it again and he didn't. It never happened again. You made yourself sick for no reason. The person I am now has to do with years of being married and knowing what I want and what I like. If you can't deal with that, you need to go! I am not going to change who I am!"

"It is NOT too much to ask you to put your mouth on my cock!"

I paused a moment, looking at him. "Jack... what do you think happened? With Ephram and I?"

"He told me. Everything. About how he used his mouth on you and you went wild and used your mouth on him, unable to control yourself. How Sterling sat back and watched, rubbing his little cock in his pants. How Sterling made you use other men because he was too small to have you."

I laughed, unable to stop it from bubbling up. "He told you WHAT? No! NO! That is NOT what happened! First of all, Sterling was... very large for his size. As big as Madison was and Madison was large. Barely smaller than you. Second of all... I never touched Ephram. I cried the whole time. He put his mouth on me, did exactly as Sterling told him, instructed him how to please Lizzie, then made him leave. He asked for more and he was told no. That is all. He KNEW I wasn't happy about what was happening, he saw me crying, he heard me say no. He still did it. He told you a lie. One that made him seem amazing. Big surprise. You believed him without question. Bigger surprise. Ephram, Jack? Really? You let someone's lies about me eat you up this whole time?!? You... you need to go!"

"No, Cass. No, I am not leaving again. Not ever. I just... I want to do things my way. Just for a while. Please?"

"Jack... you realize you are doing it again? The same as you did before? You aren't asking. You are telling me. Look at me and hear me. You will not just tell me what will and will not happen. You may ask me, then you have to respect my answer. Here is what is going to happen tonight. You will go downstairs to the main hall. I do not know who is on duty tonight, but whoever it is, tell them to see you to the yellow guest room. After you put pants on. We will speak again in the morning and you will not tell me what to do."