All Comments on 'The Wagon Train'

Thanks.

really not worth the time it took to read.. I think the term is stupid

i would of left her on the trail

Hopefully the rest of the DNA stream turned right whilst this lot explored unknown territory off left - at least I hope they did!!

You've got to give the author great credit for trying, but the great Victor Borge said it best when he said "practice, practice, practice!!", and you might earn yourself some pointy things!!!

Doesn’t win when it comes to F’ing

Not much here, just a forest of clichés, a poor sentence structure and weak grammar.

If any of those women were Donald T’s ancestors?

Totally worthless story that I could not finish even though it was only a 1-pager. The story is just a bunch of inane statements that can be found anywhere, but are simply placed on a wagon train motif but without any historical understanding of how wagon train functioned.

I know you have a lot of numbers in your name, but do you know how to count?

'We had 83 wagons in the train. Most wagons were man, wife, and kids. To be exact we had 64 wagons with couples in them. The family wagons were 46 that had children from very young Babies to teens nearly grown.'

The way I see it, 64+46= 110, that's like 27 more fucking wives than you accounted for. And if Jesse was with her 19 times in one week when was he tending the stock? Who was driving the wagon while she was fucking on the road? Last (but not least) if he had made nine trips over the Rockies as a guide then that meant he spent nine years of his life just going back and forth from Missouri to California, and lets not forget the four years on the farm, no wonder he'd rather watch than participate.

kind of a stupid story don't write anymore like just awful why would any man want a whore that had every man on the wagon train dumb

It sounds like an orgy on wheels back in the old west.

My Grandmom, whose husband I was named after, sent a letter back to me corrected with red ink. I quit writing her. When asked my mom told her why I quit. She was sorry and never did it again. Matt is a good writer. He should be encouraging other writers instead of feeding his own superiority complex. Just because you are more intelligent or more practiced at a thing does not give you the right to correct other ideas. A lot of husbands on this site end up not getting any nookie when their partner starts to compare them with others. I had rather get to read the story than have someone critique a person with negative politics. Instead of saying so and so is a GDSOB you should use their mistake to come up with something better about yourself. More I would like to do this rather than you botched that. The way kids are educated today affects their writing more than any other subject. It probably has to do with diagramming sentences. Subject, predicate, verb, adverb, noun.

Your stories really need to be in Humor, as derisive laughter is all that they get from the readers.

I thought it was his cave? Not even John Wayne could save this mess.

1 star

Im assuming this is a 14 year olds masturbatory thought pattern put to the page.

The last line was funny, but not worth trying trying to wade through the rest of that mess for.

...it’s the Donner party

And thus began Mormonism.

If an LW story isn’t close close to a 4, don’t bother.

The math doesn't work as to people. Plus, it's not often I say this, but you managed to make reading about fucking boring.

Irrelevant and confusing at the same time...once you realize it’s a time piece, you have already lost interest!

So he traded one slutty wife for another?

I'm still trying to see the point.

I mean the second one planned to fuck everyone on sight just like the last one... so...

Read it. Left with this strange feeling of "why do I bother?"

Was there a story anywhere in this?

KB

what was the point?

why did he want to both not trade, and trade his wife for Sara?

why would he have his employee broker it with Saras husband?

Why trade one whore for another, espeically one who fucks twice as man as the old whore did?

Why would sara be willing to fuck every man, but not her husband after the trade?

who wamts a woman who fucks other men over 2000 times a week?

119 men * 19 times a week for some =

2261 sex acts a week =

323 sex acts a day =

21 sex acts an hour assuming 8 hours of sleep

one star for SOOOOOOOOOOOOO many reasons, the most prominent one being your inability to do math

Is this author capable of writing anything but garbage? One Star.

more details of Sara gangbanging would have been great