All Comments on 'The Web Ch. 01'

Excellent build-up, and the connection between characters was spot on. A little more fleshing out of the extended group of friends may be nice for the next few chapters. The fence is there but the rest of the world still exists and you can let us look over it.

you used it well in this story and I'm sure the next. It works well in building up desire and its inevitable release. Good story!

I kept waiting to see these characters emerge as personalities. They seem very two dimensional and rather boring.

The set up seems full of promise but the execution was either rushed or over deliberated. It doesn't read like natural conversation either. Who talks that way?

I'll give the next chapter one page and really hope these people grow some personality soon.

Three stars, I'm afraid.

Great story and nice beginning ! It's SURE one of my favorites :)

I have been reading stories on this site off and on about three years, this was the intriguing on an intellectual level, stemulating on a sexual level, and I could not not continue this story. I have never submitted a responded to the Author before. THANK YOU

The psych construct was kinda clumsy,

but over all it was warm, healthy and sensual, at least.

No comments on this one?

Lets just say I'm intrigue.

Josie

And I’d have to say I’m impressed

A great start to this series, I’m intrigued to see where it goes

I'll wait until I finish the whole story to say more but this is the first story of this type that I've read. It's smart, sexy and very engaging.

Nicely voiced, appealing characters,

But do look up the tenses of the word "lay" please

God this is just amazing.

As a writer and as a horny person both my hats off. Great work, off to read more of your stories. This was the first one and im invested now as shit.

Nice premise.

Could have used more dialog during the initial masturbtion sessions about each was feeling/thinking.

Could have used some overt action by Kelly as she observed.

Four stars.