The Wedding Pt. 03

(Please read Parts 1 and 2 first. All the premise and character development are done in those iterations of this story)

The Wedding, Part 3.

"Don't...cum...in...me", Lisa had said.

I remember that Teralynn once told me that college educated women all knew the risks of having unprotected "rawdog" sex. Most of them knew how to stave off the unwanted pregnancies that might accrue from fucking "rawdog".

"Everybody likes to fuck rawdog, Artie. A woman that won't let you cum inside her probably wants her pussy licked that night. And she knows most guys won't lick a sloppy pussy."

These were my first thoughts upon wakening that Friday morning at the crack of noon.

"Don't...cum...in...me."

Sheeeeee-it. Girl? Is you cray-cray? I reached down to massage my cock. It was already hard. And I had to piss like a racehorse. I staggered into the bathroom and stood over the toilet for five minutes before my erection subsided enough to allow me to pee. Feeling crunchy, I stripped out of my clothing, intent upon showering. My iphone was blowing up.

"Fuck 'em." I thought. "I've got to wash my ass."

I sat down on the toilet and picked up my iphone anyway. One of the texts was from Lisa. I didn't remember giving her my phone number. I opened the text to find a photo of her naked vagina oozing jizz. Apparently she'd sent it shortly after I left the Sheraton that morning. The image showed her face, too, smiling innocently down the line of her torso. She was still wearing that green NY Jets jersey, legs spread wide, pubic hair crispy with beadlets of cum.

Bang!! New erection.

I jacked off while sitting on the toilet. First, however, I wiped the lingering scent of Lisa's pussy from my cock to my nose. Couldn't miss that. It was a fresh dose of sexual cocaine. Memories of our explosive session flooded home. Using my iphone, I took a short video of myself masturbating to completion. I put the camera right up against my pud to show the minutest details of my bout with Rosie and the Five Palm Sisters. I texted this video to Lisa by way of reply. The last frame of the video was blurred by a splurt semen splattered against the camera lens. I thought she'd appreciate this cinematic flourish. If we were truly matched sexually, the scent or sight of my semen would drive her to a masturbatory frenzy.

All business now, I remembered the afternoon wedding rehearsal was set to start at 2 p.m. I had two hours to shit, shave, shower and get something to eat. I wiped cum from my hands, wiped my ass, and jumped into the shower. I like hot showers. I let the steamy water blister my skin as I lathered myself head to toe. The remembrance of my penis disappearing into Lisa's cunt thrilled me into yet another erection. I massaged myself diffidently. Soon enough my cock would be disappearing into her pussy yet again.

Finally scrubbed clean, I stepped from the shower, dried myself and picked up my iphone. It listed missed calls from every member of my crew. I called Jennie back first since she and I had a secret in common.

"WHERE IN THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!" she opened.

"I'm in my hotel room. Why?"

"WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU SINCE FIVE O'CLOCK THIS MORNING!! YOU DISAPPEARED FROM THE BACHELOR PARTY!!"

"No I didn't. I told them I was leaving early."

"Told who?"

"I told Eddie. And Kevon."

"They said they hadn't heard a word. You weren't answering your phone. Where were you?"

"Ummmm...I had a booty call."

"With a stripper?!??"

"Nope."

Suddenly she toned her voice down.

"Lisa?"

"Yep."

"Sheeee-it. You and your dick. You coulda told somebody."

"I told YOU."

"You ain't tell me you had a booty call on tap. Last I heard you two were still playing the hand game and you were worried about getting your knob slobbed."

"Not anymore."

"That quick, hey? She must be a ho."

"She's not." I said, a little annoyed at the aspersion.

"You haven't known her two days!!"

"So?"

"Details?"

"Not yet. I'll tell you all, of course. But I want her to be there when I do."

"Oh shit! She must have some serious scootie!!"

"She does."

"OK. But I want ALL the details. No shirking, Artie. If you shirk, I'll know."

"No shirking."

"OK. I'll tell the fellas I found you."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"WAIT!!! Where are y'all eating lunch!"

It was too late. She was gone. I threw on my clothes and hurried over to the Sheraton. Finding no one in the lobby, I called Jennie back.

"Where are y'all?"

"I'm in my room," she said.

"Did y'all eat lunch already?"

"Yep. You missed it."

"If you'll buy me a club sandwich and a Coke, I'll come up to your room and pungle."

"YOU GOT IT, SPANKY!!!"

I took the elevator up to Jennie's room. She opened the door. I walked in with a sheepish grin that turned to chagrin when I saw Teralynn sitting on one of the beds.

"You may as well pungle up now. She's going to find out anyway," said Jennie.

"Where's my food?" I demanded.

"I ordered room service. It'll be here."

"How much does she know?" I asked, referring to Teralynn.

"Nothing, as far as I know. I ain't said shit."

I decided to skip over the hand signals thing and get straight to the point. Lisa and I were a thing. Eight hours ago we'd consummated a booty call. It was good. Eight hours from now there would be another booty call. And another tomorrow night.

"Does she have a hairy pussy? I remember you like that." Teralynn asked. She tended to be blunt.

"Yes. She does."

"Scary hairy?"

"No."

"Does Cynthia know?" interjected Jennie.

"I don't think so. She gave me the stink eye when she introduced us."

"She knows," retorted Teralynn.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"It's not you, Artie. It's Lisa. It's what she knows about Lisa. That's what the stink eye was for," explained Teralynn.

"Man," I sighed. "Just once I'd like to know what women know about each other ahead of time."

"Never happen, Captain," said Terry. "That's why me and Jennie are here. To clue you knuckleheads in. Otherwise, you'd be ass out. Was the pussy good?"

"Extraordinary."

"It makes me wonder who taught her, you know?"

"She was watching a porn flick when I came in," I noted.

"Well, that tells you something right there, Artie."

"YOU watch porn flicks. I've watched them WITH you!!"

"SO? I'm me. I'm one of the fellas. She ain't one of the fellas. Not yet, at least."

"SUCH a double standard," I grumbled.

My food arrived. I tucked in with gusto. The dual interrogation continued.

"Rawdog?" asked Teralynn.

"Yep."

"Did you eat at the Y?" This was Jennie.

"Nope."

"Did she cum?"

"Yep."

"How many times?"

"Three or four."

"Was she faking?"

"How would I know?"

"Artie!! I told you how to tell if a woman is faking! Don't you remember? Jeez!!"

"Yes, I remember now. It's in the sweat."

"That's right, Artie. It's in the sweat. Did the sweat trickle?"

"Yes."

"Down between the titties?"

"Yes."

"That's the real thing, alright. I see them hickies on your neck. You'd better cover those up before the rehearsal."

"Oh yeah."

"You know, I saw her at breakfast. She and her sister came down about ten a.m., too late for the regular buffet. They had to order the special. She looked worn out."

I grinned. My phone buzzed. I pulled it from my pocket to see that Lisa had 'loved' my video. My masturbation sext was imprinted with a couple of small hearts and a pair of exclamation points.

"Is that her?" Teralynn asked.

"Yes," I replied.

I looked at my phone again. I was hoping Lisa would send me a reciprocal video. Then I thought, no. She has to be upstairs getting ready for the rehearsal.

"Artie, be careful. I remember what happened with you and Sharon." Teralynn cautioned.

Indeed, that relationship started much like this one, I noted. It burned brightly and fizzled out. But Sharon had been an upper classman. She was WAY out of my league. Lisa was younger than me. Our leagues had yet to be established.

I finished my sandwich and gulped down the Coke. Teralynn reached across the table to button my shirt and hide the hickies Lisa had left behind.

"Can I catch a ride to the church with you guys?" I asked, knowing the answer ahead of time.

"Sure, Artie."

We arrived at the church on time. This being a Cynthia Preston production, CPT was not an option. Eddie, DeSean and Kevon rushed me with questions about my whereabouts last night and my sudden disappearance from the bachelor party. Jennie had given them sketchy details without being at all specific. Of course, they wanted to know if my absence had anything to do with yesterday's big secret. I hemmed and hawed as best I could. What was I going to say without being a distraction?

I looked across the room to catch Lisa's eye. She was cool. Her demeanor bespoke nothing of our bathroom tryst earlier that morning. She was full of demur smiles, wit and grace. No one might have suspected her sweaty orgasmic predilections. "A lady in the living room and a freak in the bedroom." I was ready to marry her.

I brushed aside my friend's inquiries. Cynthia helped me out by insisting we get this rehearsal started. She'd had time to work out the kinks. And she had some pointed ideas that she wanted implemented post haste. She started outlining her list. I gave not the least bit of a fuck...until she dropped the bomb: Eddie and I would be switching partners. Apparently, the inch and a half difference in our heights threw off the feng shui of the lineup. Cynthia thought the wedding photos would meld better if the lines (to the left and right) were more perfectly arranged by height.

Of course, what was I going to say? This was HER wedding. And at that point, no one (except Terry and Jennie) knew that Lisa and I were using these rehearsals to play the hand game in furtherance of our secretive sexual activities.

Cynthia didn't think the change up would be much of a problem. By then I knew Lisa well enough to read her expressions. Her look of pain and disappointment was evident. She sucked it up for Cynthia's sake. The next thing I knew, my erstwhile girlfriend was walking down the aisle with my bosom buddy. And, yes, I happened to know that his dick was bigger than mine.

I took Nicole's hand and performed my rehearsal responsibilities as Cynthia wished. I admit to being sorely disappointed. I liked Nicole. But I liked Lisa better. She and I kept flashing each other looks that required Jennie's interpretive powers. I'd hoped we could sneak off from the rehearsal and get a good blowjob in. I knew Lisa would be up for it. Having switched partners, Lisa and I couldn't play the hand game. I had no clue how to play the eye game. Jennie would know. I tried to engage her, eye-wise. Jennie just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

We practiced our steps for awhile. Cynthia was in rare form. No missteps went un-accounted. This was a full dress rehearsal, too, except for the bride, who couldn't be seen in her wedding dress before the actual ceremony. Did that stop the bride from nitpicking OUR regalia? No. It did not. If there was a loose piece of lint, Cynthia saw it. If someone's hair was out of place, Cynthia corrected it. If the flower girls dropped disparate amounts of flower petals from one handful to the next, Cynthia noted it. She counted each petal. Even the pastor presiding over the ceremony was not above Cynthia's purview. His collar was uneven.

I stood for about as much as I could stand. Then I broke ranks and headed for the head. I didn't have to pee. I just had to get away from Cynthia. She seemed flummoxed at my departure. One of her kinder angels now stepped up and advised Cynthia to call a fifteen-minute break. There was a general sigh of relief.

Eddie followed me to the bathroom. He actually did have to pee.

"Oh my god. I can't wait for this to be over with," he said, dick in hand.

"You think?" I retorted, splashing water into my face at the sink.

"Hey, I like this Lisa chick," he commented cheerfully. "I'm thinking about asking for them digits. You think she'll come across?"

What could I say?

"I don't think she's up for Megatron, Eddie."

(Megatron was his name for his dick)

I didn't reply. He'd find out soon enough. Finally, I did think of a worthy response.

"She give you reason to think she'd come across?"

"I dunno. I gave her the palm rub. She didn't respond," he said.

This was getting out of hand. Literally.

"Why don't you slip your finger down her panties, pull it back and sniff it, Eddie? That always works for me."

"I would. But Cynthia might notice and charge me up," he retorted.

We both laughed at that truism.

Just at that moment Lisa came barging into the men's room. She seemed aghast at finding both Eddie and me in there. She faked embarrassment and exited quickly. Eddie seemed to think that this was game.

"That was for me!" he chortled. "She knew I was in here. The palm rub works every time!!"

I wanted to punch him.

We returned to the church sanctuary ready for the umpteenth iteration of the wedding march. By now I had all the steps ingrained in my muscle memory. I knew where my feet should be on each bar and measure of the musical accompaniment. I knew when to turn and when to pivot. I had that smarmy "I'm SO happy to be here!" smile down pat. Kevon was going to owe me BIG time for this. He seemed to know this without being told.

We were lining up. I noticed Lisa's absence at about the same time my phone pinged. I opened it and found a text from Lisa. Knowing her last text, I stepped away from the crowd to open it. Sure enough, she was sexting again. The video showed her in the same men's room I'd just quitted. She was sitting on a toilet with her bride's maids dress hitched up around her waist. She wore no panties. Suddenly a huge, fountainous arc of golden urine sprayed from her pussy, followed by another. She wiped herself, smiled at the camera, dabbed some urine on the lens that I might better appreciate her cinematic chops, and then the video closed. I looked up to see Lisa calmly approaching the wedding party from the restrooms. This video could not have been more than four minutes old. I gave her a sly grin. She returned my grin with a look of full innocence, as if she HADN'T just sent me a golden shower video. "A lady in the living room."

Eddie was going to be ass out on this one. I was going to tap dat ass come hell or high water. Lisa was a freak of epic proportions.

She took her place next to Eddie. They held hands. I took Nicole's hand and waited the signal to start the march. As I was replaying Lisa's latest video in my mind, I felt Nicole's finger rubbing my palm. She took my index finger in her fist and squeezed it.