All Comments on 'The Wedding Pt. 06'

This guy is a lame bro, he ain't no top dog.

Yep, I see all the macho characters in the stories you've written. Ooops, wait. Writing requires the ability to match verbs, subjects and prepositions with concepts and ideas. Exceptional writing requires the ability to cram big words into small sentences while painting panoramic images in readers minds. I've read thru all your work.

It didn't take long.

Six chapters of the same thing. Should have stopped at 2.

It’s funny that anonymous have the most negative shit to say.

I am not a commenter but thought you should know, great writing. Enjoyed how you set the scene as areas changed. Off to part 7.

Wow. Some of these commenters have rocks rolling around in their heads, so many they could pave an entire 3-mile stretch of road if they just hit the side of their heads long enough.

I like how you're trying to explain the PGAD from Lisa's side, but then just flip it around from Artie's side; it tortures the women, but just a normal guy suffers torture regularly, too. Nice handling of talking with Kevon with a sexual history and how he'd feel about it if the script flipped--good introspective moment. I like how Artie learns for his woman, too--so he answers directly. Nice touch, too.

Despite what some unthinking boneheads have stated, it's clear structurally you're putting Artie and Lisa front and center. I'm enjoying this, despite having some initial reservations. 5