The Wonderful World of Lindsay

The best course of action I could come up with was to apologize to Lindsay, beg her to stay silent, and try to make it up to her somehow. I guesstimated my odds of that at less than zero. What the fuck was I thinking?

The problem would be in apologizing. I had no idea what to say. I couldn't explain why I needed to read her stories, why I couldn't stay away. That there was something about the ones and zeroes Lindsay that I needed. How the physical Lindsay could harbor the digital Lindsay that I never knew existed before was a puzzle that I couldn't let go of. I couldn't let go of the secret Lindsay, the secret Lindsay of amazing sexual fantasies and incredible worlds, the invisible Lindsay I would see when I read her stories, the Lindsay...

I was in love with. The deep, twisted, darkly imaginative, sensual Lindsay whose face I would see in every sexual description, whose voice I heard reading dialog, and who had started appearing in my dreams at night. That right there was why I did it. Now I was trapped.

I wasn't sure I could actually say all those things to her and I was certain she wouldn't believe them now, anyway. I tried to prepare myself for eventual eviction. It was inevitable. It was only a matter of when.

Our parents came home around the usual time. I could hear Mom in the kitchen making dinner, dreading every digit change of the time on my phone. Each one brought me closer to being homeless for the night. I could hear Lindsay moving around, she had stopped crying but there was no typing. I jumped when Mom announced dinner was ready from the bottom of the stairs. This was it, the moment of truth.

My stomach was a massive knot when Lindsay's door opened and I heard her go down the stairs. She paused in front of my door for a second but continued down the stairs without incident. Mom called me again by name and I had no choice. I took a deep breath, tried to stay calm, and went downstairs to meet my doom.

Lindsay was helping Mom in the kitchen so I sat down at the table. Dad was already there. They brought the last of the food in and sat down. Dad looked at Lindsay and asked, "Is everything okay, Lindsay?"

Lindsay flashed a weak smile. "I was watching Titanic again." Watching old Leo drown always made her cry.

"Oh. How many times have you seen that, a thousand?" The standard Dad response. Mom shushed him and shot me a look. I wasn't going to say anything. I just wanted to disappear.

We could barely look at each other. I pushed food around with my fork, my stomach was so fucked up that I couldn't eat. She did manage to eat a little. I guess our already strained relationship had become normal to them because there were no questions. When we were done eating, she disappeared upstairs since it was my turn to clean up and load the dishwasher.

I had been sure she would say something. She had gone almost full postal on me for much less. I still didn't know what to say to her. I knew I should apologize but I couldn't think of a way to do it that wouldn't make things worse.

I was still on pins and needles around my parents. I was convinced Lindsay would eventually say something, it was so unlike her not to. The end was coming and I felt like that stupid cartoon coyote, just waiting for it to land on me while I stood there watching it come at me.

A few nights later, Dad's brother called. Granddad had to have surgery, Grandma wasn't able to care for him now, and the family needed to pitch in. If each of the five kids took their six weeks of family leave, that would help out Grandma until Granddad could get back on his feet. Being the oldest, Dad had been nominated to go first. My parents weren't happy but it would actually be one of the easiest shifts since he would be in bed for most of it, recovering.

They made the necessary arrangements. When it came time for the departure lecture, I flat out told them I would honor the spirit of the rules, not just the letter. No girls, no trouble, they had enough to worry about without having to worry about their offspring trying to kill each other. Lindsay gave me a strange look. We were still barely speaking.

The first full day they were gone, Lindsay had class and I went to work. She had left for school before I went in to work and her room was dark when I got back. I made it a point to avoid her while we were both home. I still had no idea what I was going to say to her.

I hadn't slept well in quite a while and that night was no different. I was up early. I hadn't heard Lindsay moving around so I figured it was safe to get something to eat and get back upstairs before she got up.

She was standing at the sink when I walked into the kitchen, filling the carafe with water for coffee. I froze in the doorway. I knew I should head back upstairs but my feet wouldn't move.

She turned around and looked at me expectantly, "Hey."

"Hey." That was the most imaginative thing I could think of to say.

We stood there, looking at each other for a few seconds. We started speaking at the same time, "About --".

We both stopped at the same time. I started first. "About being in your room -- I'm sorry. It was wrong in so many different ways." Once I started, I couldn't stop talking. "I heard you tell Tanya about your Patreon, so I looked it up. I couldn't pay for it without you finding out about it, so one day I knew you left your computer unlocked and I looked. I started reading it and I couldn't stop.

"Then I figured out your password, that way I could read everything when you weren't home and I didn't have to wait for you to forget to lock it. Right after Miranda broke up with me, you put a story up and after I read it, I saw your browser minimized and I looked. I thought it was porn and I wanted to get even for Miranda and taking the condoms. Instead, it was the other site you write for." The words kept coming, almost too fast for me to breathe.

"I saw the forum posts and I read the crime story you wrote. It blew my mind. That wasn't the you that I knew. I put everything back the way I found it and looked you up on my phone. I read the vampire story next." I left out the part about beating my meat to several orgasms, though. Her facial expression never changed and she didn't say anything, so I continued.

"I started reading everything you wrote. I couldn't stop and I couldn't help myself. I didn't know that Lindsay. I would keep track of your posts on the forum, too. Eventually, I created an account too so I could follow you and bookmark your stories, along with some others so you wouldn't get suspicious."

Still no reaction. "I saw the post asking for help about the story you were working on. I had to read it. Since it wasn't posted yet, I had to look for it. I waited until I thought you left for work, I unlocked your computer and searched for it. I finally found it and I read it. I thought maybe the mistake you made in the vampire story was accidental, you were just projecting because it was easier to write it that way. You finally fixed it and I thought that was the last of it. Until --" I ran out of words.

She still hadn't spoken. She still wasn't mad, either. She was waiting for me to say something but I didn't know what. I tried to finish my thoughts, "I can't explain why I needed to do that. You know I don't read for fun. But your writing, your stories, they felt almost real. The characters, the dialog, the plot, all of it felt like it was real to me. I was seeing a part of you I never knew existed. I wanted to know everything about her.

"I'm sorry, Lindsay. Really, I am. My word may not be worth much to you right now, but I promise I will never, ever say a word about this to anybody. I violated your privacy, the least I can do is take it to the grave with me."

She finally spoke. "Did the stories bother you?"

"No. I couldn't stop reading them. I still read them."

"Even "Confessions"?" There was a trace of concern in her voice.

"I don't know what to think. Part of me wants to believe you were just using something that actually happened as a basis for your story, that it wasn't actually real."

"Just part of you? What about the other part?" She was definitely on edge now.

I took my time answering, mainly because I wasn't sure the answer was something she wanted to hear. "I wondered if it was for real."

Her bare feet shuffled on the tile floor. "And if it was? What then?"

I had only one answer to that. "I don't know." But I did know. The crusty cum sock under my bed was Exhibit A to the charge of sexually fantasizing about my sister at night.

"Why not?" Of all the possible questions she could have asked, she had to ask that one. The one I didn't want to answer.

"Because I would have to think about things I didn't want to think about."

"Like what, Ben?"

I stared at her. I wanted to walk away but I couldn't. I didn't want to answer the question but knew I had to. "Please don't make me answer that, Lindsay. Please."

"I need to know, Ben." I knew she did. Her hands played with the hem of her shirt, showing brief flashes of her stomach. "Like what?"

"Like why I'm attracted to Digital Lindsay. I mean, I know why I am, I don't want to think about it because I shouldn't be."

She was still uncomfortable, I assumed it was because I was getting dangerously close to making an admission she didn't want to hear and that I couldn't take back. That ever since "Confessions", she had stopped just being my sister and had become this magical being that occupied my thoughts most of the time. Was she really like that on the inside? The difference between the two Lindsays was so extreme. Prim, proper Lindsay, rules enforcer and nagging bully older sister, was also the imaginative, romance-starved sex kitten of her stories? Were her male characters really the way she saw me in real life?

I was not fearless. The things I did were mostly calculated risks. Maybe not always well thought out calculated risks, but I did try to think things through before I did them. This scared me, the whole romance thing. I couldn't explain my fascination with her stories. I wasn't lying to her when I told her I could practically feel them as I read them. That I could see her and hear her when I read them.

"Digital Lindsay? You mean the Lindsay that wrote those stories?"

"Yeah." What else was I going to call her?

"What do you find attractive about her, Ben?" She wasn't so nervous now, but her feet still shuffled back and forth on the tile. Her hand stopped playing with the hem of her shirt and went back to resting on the edge of the kitchen counter, propping her up a little.

"I -- Fuck, maybe -- " I didn't want to admit I found her arousing to the point of jerking off every night while I read her stories over and over. "Her imagination, I guess. I've never met anybody like that before." That was the safest answer I could come up with.

"Is that all?" Her tone had changed. Her posture had changed. She stood a little taller, chest out a little more.

No, that wasn't all. She knew that wasn't all. And I knew she wouldn't be happy until she made me say it out loud so she could hear it.

"Lindsay --" I was going to try to beg my way out of this but she wasn't going to let me.

"She turns you on, doesn't she, Benji?" It was the way she said my name. That's how I knew she really was that way on the inside, the would-be adventuress in search of love. She said it teasingly, seductively...wantonly.

I found myself walking toward her. She was still resting her weight against the counter, head up and chest out a little. I could tell she wasn't wearing a bra, her nipples were tenting the t-shirt where it draped over her breasts. I put my hands on her hips and as she pushed up with her arms, I lifted her into a sitting position on the counter. Her eyes were now level with mine. I couldn't look away from them.

"Yes." I had a killer erection growing in my shorts.

We just stared into each other's eyes for a few moments. She broke the silence first.

"I knew the second we got off that Slingshot that I wanted to be with you. You're afraid of nothing. For those few minutes, you made me afraid of nothing. Nobody has been able to do that before or since. That's when I knew I had to start writing stories about you. I needed to get it out of my head and into a story." Her hands slid down her thighs to my waist. My hands found the outside of her thighs in return.

"I am not fearless, Lindsay. I'm scared right now. I'm not like the guys in your stories." I tried to look down but she put one hand under my chin and raised it back up so we were again eye to eye.

"Yeah, Benji, you are exactly like that. You're doing exactly what they would do right now. Trying to convince yourself that what you want is wrong. The rules say you can't feel this way." She leaned toward me, her face inches away from mine. "But I know for a fact that you actually think that rule is really fucking stupid. And you don't follow stupid rules."

Her lips were warm and soft. They had a slightly fruity taste, probably from her lip gloss. Her hands went from my waist to having her arms around my neck. Our lips parted, as if on cue, and her tongue lightly tickled mine, enticing it to come out and play. There were no fireworks, no electrical discharges, just gentleness, persistence, and an underlying feeling of carnal need. It felt...right. She smelled vaguely of shampoo, perfume, and sleep. She felt like she belonged in my arms.

My cock was stiff as hell and my balls ached. I was somewhat aware that the edge of the counter pressing into my hard-on was uncomfortable. But I promptly forgot about that when she kissed me again. I pulled her to me so that it was pressing into her crotch as she spread her legs to allow me to move in closer, her left foot wrapped around my leg to hold me still. Like I really had any intention of going anywhere now.

There wasn't any frantic grinding or groping, like rabid teenagers going at it for the first time. Just slow, sensual kissing. I sensed more than felt her pull herself into me, pressing against me while we let our tongues explore each other. There would be the occasional sigh as we embraced and kissed. She was definitely aroused, I could feel her move against me gently, almost teasing.

We eventually stopped, foreheads touching as I stood there, both of us breathing heavily with lust. There was a part of me that was aware that this needed to be really special for her. I was pretty sure she was a virgin and the last thing I wanted to do was disrespect that in any way. On the other hand, I wanted her and I wanted her now. I wanted to undress her slowly, kiss her all over, and then do everything I could to make her fantasies come true.

I straightened up and pulled her off the counter and onto her feet. She didn't complain or ask any questions as we held hands and headed up the stairs. At the top, she started toward her room and I tugged her back to me. As I started toward our parents' room, she started to object.

"Benji, no. We can't --" She stopped dead and tried to pull me in the other direction, back toward her room.

"Bullshit, watch me." I outweighed her by at least 50 pounds and it was easy enough to pull her back towards me. She stopped and put her hand against my chest as I tried to guide her toward the master bedroom.

"Benji -- ". She was pleading now. Just like I wanted.

I stopped and loosened my grip. When she dropped her hand, I ducked down and bent her over my shoulder, arms around her lower legs with her ass sticking up in the air. She actually screamed when her feet left the ground.

"Benji, NO!" She struggled a little. Very little.

I pushed the door completely open. Walking over to the bed, I laid her down, not all that gently, dropping her on the bed just enough to bounce a little. She was still protesting with her mouth but her eyes and body language said something else entirely. She propped herself up on her elbows as I slid my hands up the outside of her legs to the waistband of her shorts.

"Benji, we can't. They'll kill us if they find out." I don't know why she thought trying to reason with a horny guy was going to work. It didn't.

"They'll kill us anyways, no matter where we make love. All this stupid bullshit about 'no sex in my house', well, guess what, Mom and Dad? I'm going to deflower your precious daughter right here in your bed. And then we're going to make love in every fucking room as many times as we can for the next six weeks." With that, I almost pulled her off the bed removing her shorts and panties. She gasped, her legs slightly spread and I could see how aroused she was becoming. Her hand slowly moved toward her pussy and I used it to pull her to a sitting position, where I pulled her t-shirt off and tossed it on top of her other clothes. Her nipples were really sticking out, she moaned as my thumbs slid over them as I cupped her tits in my hands, toying with them as we kissed.

Placing my hands under her thighs, I urged her backward a few inches so I had room to lay down between her legs. Kissing up the inside of one thigh and down the other made her tremble. Kissing her distended pussy lips as I dipped my tongue between them made her grab me by the hair as she whimpered my name. Once I started really probing with my tongue, lightly flicking her clit and then gently sucking on it, she came almost immediately, bucking her hips, shaking, and moaning my name. I didn't want to stop, the sensations were intoxicating. Her scent, her taste, her sounds as I did my very best to please her kept pushing me further.

She wasn't my first, actually she was my third so it wasn't like I had a lot of experience to draw from but Lindsay was different. With Hayley and Miranda, I went down on them with the intent of either getting a blowjob or getting fucked. I had done what I had to so I could get what I wanted from them. With Lindsay, this was her fantasy. The very thing I had jerked off to many times while I read about it. Those things that I wanted to do to her, I did now for her pleasure and not for gain.

Lindsay had to pull my hair hard to get me to stop after I made her cum hard a second time a few minutes later. As she lay there, gasping and shaking while she came down, I crawled alongside her and spooned her. I was still erect, it kept poking her in one ass cheek as we lay there. Her female characters always liked to cuddle after a good orgasm so that's what I gave her, a good cuddle. We would have sex in due time, probably a lot of sex. I could wait awhile.

She turned to face me. We lay there in silence, Lindsay running her hand over my chest and touching my cheek. I couldn't take my eyes off her face. She went to kiss me and I pulled back. I knew my face was covered with her fluids and the other girls I had been with had refused to kiss after oral sex because it was gross. "I'm covered --"

"It's okay, kiss me." Her kiss was as gentle and slow as my attention to her clit had been. "That was so amazing, Benji. I didn't know it would feel anything like that at all."

It had been special. Before, when I was only going down on a girl to get what I wanted, I never stopped to consider how intimate the act actually was. It was merely a means to an end for me. With Lindsay, reading how she had envisioned it to be for her helped me to understand the act from her point of view. Having her tell me that I had exceeded those expectations gave me a feeling I couldn't describe.

We kissed some more, just laying there and enjoying the cuddling. I wasn't rushed at all. I let my hands explore her body, from the breasts she thought were too small but I found perfect to her stomach, over her hips and around to her lower back, and then over the amazing ass I never noticed before, up her back, over her shoulder and back again. Her pubic hair was the full triangular patch, she had never been allowed to wear anything other than a modest one-piece for swimming, another fucking stupid rule. This body was built for a bikini and, as long as we were together, that would be the only bathing suit she would wear if I had anything to say about it.