Christmas Vacation

“Are you fucking nuts!”

“Before you say no, John, I need to tell you that I’ve had a very nice discussion with Emily and I’m tracking down the ones before her.” His eyes bulged, his mouth opened like he was about to say something. “So, you know, so they can be deposed and the information used in court. Oh, and I’m sure that that info could somehow manage to leak out to your folks, and our friends, and well, all sorts of places…And pictures of my face and breasts and elsewhere might just end up in the public record…and other places.

“Take a breath, John. It’s not good to be that red in the face.” He lunged forward knocked her down, slapped her, then grabbed her by the shirt. He was shaking her like a rag. Here comes the fist!

“You’re going to pay for this one, bitch. This lesson’s going to leave some marks. It’ll make yesterday look like nothing. Something to make sure you’ve learned your lesson. NO. ONE. DOES. THIS. TO. ME. AND. GETS. AWAY. WITH. IT!”

NO! NEVER. NEVER. AGAIN. In a cold, calm voice, just above a whisper, “Go ahead, John. Teach me another lesson. That’ll make this very easy. I’ve been recording our discussion and after I beat you to a fucking bloody pulp with my cast, I’ll call the cops and you’ll be spending some time at the big house. Maybe you can find a nice boyfriend. So, first and last warning. LET. ME. GO.…. NOW!” He released her and stepped back. She’d never stood up to him before. He was uncertain what to do next.

“Now, why don’t you have a seat and think about things. The best thing to do is discuss them with your attorney. You and I both know you don’t want to be the mommy and daddy to the girls. They’re pretty easy now, but in just a few years or even a couple of months….puberty. And you know what happens then. But, then again, maybe you don’t. Periods, emotional craziness, boyfriends….

“And if everyone found out the truth that maybe John wasn’t father of the year, shouldn’t be on that pedestal…Well, think about it for a bit before you act. So, why don’t we focus on making the transition as easy and smooth for the girls as we can. Make sense? It’s going to be hard on them.” She knew, though, that actually the girls would love it. They always had such a great time when he wasn’t around, She’d have to coach them to act sad. “We’ll double up the girls and I’ll move into Hailey’s room. You don’t need to show any signs of affection or anything, but I think we should both be, well, be at least civil to each other.

“See what your attorney says and make sure he knows all of what’s been going on. Not just what you plan to tell the parents. Okay? We’ll figure out the next steps after that. Oh, and Emily’s expecting your call. You two have a lot to talk about. She wasn’t real happy to find out that you were married with kids and that she looks like my sister or something.” Jamie went to the kitchen to get some coffee then went next door to see how the kids were doing. She turned to leave and Hailey followed her out.

“Mommy? Are you OK? Your face is all red. Again. That’s two days in a row. Can’t you make Daddy stop?”

“No. Everything is fine, Hailey. And I think it’s going to get even better. Nothing for you to worry about. Big people’s business. Go have fun. But I think I am going to have to stay in your room for a few days. Is that alright?”

“Sure, Mom. No problem.”

“But next week the four of us have to sit down and have a discussion. Well, it might just be an all girls meeting if I know your dad. The three Musketeers.” No longer Mouseketeers.

Jamie knew lots of changes were coming, but she felt hopeful, free, like a huge weight had been removed from her chest. She was ready for the next chapter.

FOUR YEARS LATER
“Mom! Chris and I are going to ride our bikes over to Emily’s to see the new baby. OK?”

“Sure. The baby’s not that new though. She’s almost two.” She found it interesting that they still always refer to it as ‘Emily’s’ house and not their dad’s. Kinda telling. “Say hi to her for me.”

“You wouldn’t be at all interested in driving us over there would you? Just remember, in just a short months I’ll be 16 and I’ll be driving myself. I know you’re gonna miss it. Sooooo?”

“Uh, that would be a no. I’ll try to live with the pain of not chauffeuring you two all over the place. Is your father going to be there?”

“No. He’s on another trip or something.” Damn. She hoped he was not back to his same old tricks. Emily was so nice and they all liked the heck out of her.

Moments later… “MOM! MOM! Mr. Grisham’s house is on fire! There’s smoke all over the place.”

“Hailey, you call 911 and I’ll run over there and see if he’s OK. He wasn’t outside or anything was he?”

“No. I didn’t see him.”

“You can go over there, but DO NOT go in the building. No matter what. Am I clear?”

She ran two doors down. Smoke was streaming out of the windows and front door. His car was there. “Mr. Grisham! Lloyd!” No answer. She ran around the house. He wasn’t in the back yard either. She figured he must still be inside. She knew the rules. Never rush into a burning house. Wait for the fire department. But she couldn’t. He’d be dead, if he wasn’t dead already. She had to go. So, first time to be a hero. And… maybe her last time.

She ducked low, took a deep breath and entered the smoke. Checked the living room. No one. Ran past the bathroom, backed up, took off her shirt, soaked it in the back of the toilet and held it to her mouth. Her heart was pounding, pounding even in her ears. She figured she could take a breath and hold it for thirty seconds at least and not have to take that many breaths. But it seemed like she could only hold her breath about ten seconds before she had to breathe. Then she started panting.

Even with the wet shirt the smoke burned her throat, her lungs. Her eyes burned, she couldn’t see. Cough! Cough! She couldn’t stop coughing. The smoke seemed to be coming from the kitchen. Keeping as low as she could she ran to the kitchen. The smoke created a dense fog, but she could see flames from the cabinets, the walls, the ceiling. Hot! It was so hot! She had a vision of the wicked witch after water was pored on her yelling, ‘I’m mellllting!’ Crazy.

Between the smoke and all the water in her eyes, she could hardly see anything. “Mr. Grisham!” Dashing forward, she tripped, hit her head on the open pantry door and landed face first on the floor.

She looked, peered through the smoke, which was thinner near the floor, to see what had tripped her. What the…darn, it was Lloyd. He wasn’t moving. He was out cold, or dead. It didn’t look like he was breathing. She grabbed his head, coughed, opened his mouth, pinched his nose and blew two quick breaths into him. She was overcome with coughing. But rallied and gave him two more.

She knew she had to get both of them out of there. And quickly or the game would be over. So hot! It was so hot. She’d never felt anything like it. She could feel her hair singeing and something kept running into her eyes. Blood. She felt her chest, back, face, arms all burning like they were on fire.

No idea where the strength came from, but she grabbed his feet and started dragging him as she walked backwards as fast as she could coughing the whole time like her lungs were going to come out. Onto the porch coughing and tears streaming from her eyes, she reached down, put him in a bear hug and stumbled down the steps with him and they fell onto the grass of the front yard away from the house.

Neighbors rushed in to help. “He’s not breathing! I’ll breathe. You check for a pulse!”

“How do I do that?” She gave him three deep breaths, then checked his neck. Shit! No pulse! She ripped open his shirt and started chest compressions. All the neighbors and other folks stood around and watched. Fast. Deep. Damn! She could feel his ribs cracking. “Come on, Lloyd. Please!”

Suddenly he stirred and coughed. “Lloyd! Lloyd! BREATHE! Breathe for me! Please! Breathe. Deep breath!” She was only vaguely aware of the crowd moving back and large dark shapes moving in. A hand touched her shoulder and she jumped.

She couldn’t really see, but she heard him say, “We’ve got it from here, Miss. Ron, start the oxygen. Get the AED on and let’s see what rhythm we’re dealing with. Get an IV started…use that left arm. A big one in case we need it.”

She was staring. “Here, let me help you. Man, you’re a mess. Here. Here’s some oxygen for you too.” She continued to cough and spit out soot. “Quite a hero, but a very dangerous thing you did. Here, sit on the grass. Get a blanket for her!”

She looked down and realized she had no shirt. Her boobs were hanging out of her bra so she numbly tucked them back in. Neighbors must have loved that she thought. And blood! God, there was blood everywhere. She tried to figure out where the heck it was coming from? She felt queasy, but reached up. A hole! She had a big hole in her forehead! It went way into her scalp! Dammit. Another scar, she thought.

She pulled her hand away and stared at it. Then looked down. She gasped. Her arm was all red and there were blisters forming. Same for her chest, and she could feel them on her face. God, she felt cooked. All burned up. She gasped again when she looked at her hair. It was ruined. Singed. Burnt. Her beautiful hair was ruined. She stared at it!

“Mom! Mom! You saved him! You saved Mr. Grisham! But…But you’re hurt! Mom, you’re hurt!” She went to hug her, but she hit her burn and Jamie gasped in pain. “Sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright, Chris. I’m doing fine.”

“She’s OK, girls. Step back a little and let her breathe some. We need to start an IV and get her to the hospital along with Mr. Grisham. Is you Dad around?”

“She’s divorced. Just Chris and I.”

“Will you two be OK here by yourselves? Is there some place you can stay? Your Mom will likely be in the hospital for a few days, well, a few days at least. We’ll have to keep an eye on her pulmonary status.” The girls looked at him blankly. “Sorry. She sucked in a lot of smoke and sometimes the lungs get kind of burned on the inside just like her arms. They don’t like that very much and don’t work right.”

“Yes, Sir. We can stay at my step mom’s, Emily. We were on our way when we saw the smoke.”

“Why don’t you say goodbye to your mom. Try not to touch her too much. It’ll hurt. Then head over there and let Emily know what’s going on and that you’ll need to stay for a couple of days?

“Yes, Sir. Goodbye, Mom. We love you.”

All she could do was stare and mumble something like ‘I love you’ back to them. Her lips were all swollen or something too. Then, “But how is Lloyd? Is he alright? Is he going to be OK? He wasn’t breathing. No pulse that I could find….”

“Looks like he’ll be alright. I think you saved his life. But like you, he sucked in a lot of smoke, so we’ll have to see how his lungs do. He had long sleeves and pants on. Didn’t get as burned as you. And doesn’t have a big gash in his forehead.”

“I….I tripped over him and hit a door or something. I couldn’t see….It was so smoky….I”

“It’ll be OK, miss. Just relax for now and let us take care of you….Who are you by the way?”

“Jamie.”

“Matt. Lloyd’s already on his way. The second truck is here, so let’s get you loaded up.” She tried to focus on the man speaking to her, but started staring blankly and was aware of blackness moving in from the edges of her vision until even the pinpoint in the middle disappeared and she was out. Her last thought was, ‘he called me miss.’

She awoke to the sound of beeping machines around her. There was something in her throat. She had to get it out, it was making her gag. Just like…But her hands were tied down. She started to struggle.

“It’s alright, Jaime. There is a breathing tube down your throat. We’re just about to get it out, so, take a deep breath. That’s it.” She gagged as she felt the tube pulled out of her mouth and was aware of saliva all over her lips and neck. She tried to reach up again.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” He wiped her off. “Here. Let me undo your hands now that we have that out and we have this face shield to put on to give you some moisturized oxygen. Your lungs have been quite a mess.”

“How long?”

“Well, this is your fourth day in the ICU. But you’re doing great. Your numbers are all getting back to normal. Here. Sip a little water and wash some of that stuff down.”

The Intensivist came in. “Ah, the hero is back with us. Great. Hi, Mrs. Logan, I’m Dr. Morgan. You really did a job on yourself when you saved Mr. Grisham. You have about a 30% second degree burn with smoke inhalation. Ordinarily that would be a trip to the burn center, but none of your burns were very deep and your lungs responded well to positive pressure.”

“So…” Cough.

“So, we kept you here. It’s out to a step down bed later this morning, dressings twice a day, high calorie high protein diet, and liquids. You have to drink lots of water since it’s all leaking out of your blisters.”

In a hoarse, groggy voice, “How long?”

“You’ve been in here four days. Probably another three or four before you go home.”

“Lloyd? Did he make it?”

“He’s already home. You saved his life. A few cracked ribs from your compressions, but he had long sleeves and pants. So just a few burns on his face. See you later Mrs. Logan.”

“Jamie.”

“Jamie it is. There are a couple of very anxious young ladies out here to see you if you’re up to it.”

“Please.”

The girls rushed in. “Mom! Mom! We’ve been so worried.” They went to hug her but her face, arms, trunk were all covered with dressings so they hesitated.

“I need that hug. Get in here.” They hugged and cried. It hurt, but was worth it.

“Mom. Look you’re a hero! You’re in the paper. And we saw you on the news. There’s even a video.” Then in a hushed tone, “Uh, they had to put a black box on your chest as you were doing the CPR ‘cause you were kinda hanging out and jiggling quite a bit. But on the internet…no black box.” They showed her a video from the local news.

“Oh, sweet Jesus! Take me now! I’ll have to move. They filmed it? Me?” They nodded.

“But they looked great, Mom. Your boobs are famous. They’re trending.”

“Well that makes me feel ever so much better, Hailey. Nothing like performing topless CPR for the neighborhood. God, I’m so embarrassed.”

“Here! Watch this clip.”

“Oh my God! I look like this lady I saw at the Daviess County Fair who could spin them…well, never mind. Pack our bags, girls. We’re moving.”

“But, Mom, it’s great!”

“What? Mom boobs on display. Stop the presses!”

“But you looked pretty hot, Mom.”

She laughed. “I was. Remember? I was burning up?”

They all laughed.

“No, really, Mom, you looked great. You’re trending, Mom!”

“What?”

“You’ve got over couple million views on the internet and a lot of hash tags. You’re famous!”

“Perfect. Every mom’s dream.”

“#Toplessmom. But the one I liked was the recipe for baked boobies.” The girls both cracked up.

“Uh, Mom…we went through your computer, and…”

“What? Why?

“You have like a thousand friend requests on Facebook and all kinds of emails. With pictures! And some don’t even have clothes. Some of the guys are real hunks and they all want to meet you and go on dates. Some girls, too in case you’re interested in changing things up a little, Mom.”

“Yea, Mom. You need to get back out there. You know, girls have their needs and stuff. Just look at Chris and how she carries on with that boyfriend of hers. You’d be shocked, Mom.”

“Not true, Mom. Another classic case of projection. Hailey is simply trying to project her slutty actions onto me.” Then in a little girl’s voice. “Mom, you know I’ve always been the good child and Hailey, well…”

And in a cooing mother’s voice while stroking Chris’ hair, “I know, Chris. You’ve always been the good girl who got good grades and always helps her mom around the house.”

Hailey rolled her eyes. “I’m about to vomit. She really has you fooled. But seriously, Mom, you need to get out there. Fill that empty life of yours…”

She laughed. “My life is not empty. I’m happy with it. So please delete my accounts when you get home. If I want a date I’ll just go to that hog farmer’s dating site or something.” More laughter.

“You know, Mom. Speaking of hunks and good looking guys, that fireman stopped by a couple of times, but you were sleeping. He’s hot. And he seems real nice. Chris and I talked with him when he came in. He asked all about you and asked us a bunch of stuff about school, sports and what not.”

“Girls. You’re not supposed to spill your guts to strangers about all that stuff. You know that.”

“But, Mom. He’s a fireman! And he’s nice. In fact, here he comes. Matt! How’s the fire business. Anything exciting today?”

“Today’s actually my day off. Just wanted to check and see how all you girls were making out. Hi, Jamie. You probably don’t remember, but I’m Matt. How’re you? Do you need anything?”

“Mom, we’re going to hit the road. Emily’s been waiting quite a while.” They hugged and kissed her and then gave her a grin and fanned their faces as they left. The universal ‘he’s so hot’ sign. She laughed.

“I’m doing fine, Matt. Thanks for helping me. I guess I was asleep the other times you came. How’s Lloyd?”

“He’s actually already discharged. Doing fine. I guess one of the advantages of not breathing is you don’t suck in as much smoke. Went to stay with family for a bit while the house gets fixed. He apparently had some kind of arrhythmia or something, his pan of grease caught on fire as he fell and spread all over the kitchen. He’s lucky it didn’t land on him. Another couple of minutes and he wouldn’t have made it back. You did a great thing. So when do you get to go?”

“A few more days. I have to figure out how to get home, though. Emily has to get the baby checked out. Hailey doesn’t drive yet. They don’t want me to drive…”

“I can take you, Jaime.”

“OK, Matt. So why are you doing all this? Why are you visiting and offering to help? You see lots of folks in fires. Do have a thing for topless divorced moms or something? You just want another peak at my chest?”

He turned bright red and started to stammer…she reached over and touched his hand, “Just kidding, Matt. The girls say I’m all over social media. Trending. ‘Topless mom performs CPR and saves life.’ I don’t think I’ll be able to leave the house. So you could see more than a peak there, I’m told. But, no, seriously, why?”

“My mom told me I should look for a heroine to date.”

“Date? You want to date me? You don’t know anything about me, Matt.”

“Your courageous, brave, quick thinking, competent, obviously care about your neighbors. You’ve raised two wonderful daughters who seem strong, self confident, doing well in school and are well adjusted. And…uh….You’re very beautiful. Are those enough reasons?”

“Yes. They probably are. Although with blood all over me there and dressings all over my face now, how can you tell what I look like?”

“I can tell. But, Jamie, I don’t want to ask you if… uh, well, you know, you and Mr. Grisham are a couple or whatever.” She burst out laughing. So hard, tears rolled out of her eyes and into the dressings. Her face wanted to split.

“Oh! That hurts! You think Lloyd and I….” And she started laughing until she snorted. So hard she couldn’t talk. “Darn you, Matt. I swear you’re making my face split. Lloyd and I…” he started laughing too.

“Well, you didn’t have a shirt on and you were kind of hanging out…and if you and Lloyd weren’t….What happened to your top?”

“I took it off, soaked it and was breathing through it until I had to give him some breaths and get him out of there. Let me just say, if my life was so bad that I would monkey around with a guy his age, well…. I would have been so embarrassed that I’d been caught, I’d have just stayed in the fire. I don’t really know when my boobs escaped from their harness. I wasn’t really paying attention. I guess when I was dragging him out.”