All Comments on 'They Wanted My Wife'

Very good, but stopped way too short. There needs to be a part 2. I can see a divorce, the soon to be ex-wife and others going to jail, and of course both families will get involved. Please write it.

Needs a lot of help! No prelim, no story, no conclusion.

Epilogue?

i gave you a 5 for the btb but this was NOT a great example of a flash story.

very short and to the point but you didn't finish the story

Good start...chapter 2?

Thanx!

Loklie

Ran out of ink? That’s not an ending in any sense.

A good start, but that's all it is.

please finish it.

Thanks

story needs to be completed. What's there is pretty good now finish it.

Like it, needs a follow-up

this needs finished to be voted on

That's not a story. It's an opening scene.

WASTE of time!!! So tires of so called writers on this site NOT FINISHING THE DAMN STORY!!!!!

Short but powerful. Well done! 5 stars.

Not enough for a story, need more.

Pt2?

You need to finish this

Absolute horse crap. Don't think about giving up the day job please

Awww then what?

Excellent short story...no waffling, no bullshit...5 stars!

not much. it isnt even a chapter, never mind a story. clearly the author has no idea where to take this. Police etc on the way! Start again.

Please, finish the story... It is a VERY GOOD start! ...+5

Good scene. Needs a story to fill it out

Like all the other comments, I have to say "interesting opening scene". But it is unlikely I will catch the next scene and it might take months to figure out who these characters are and why this guy has the antiquated notion that he could accost his wife for no reason other than she was engaged at the moment in sexual activity with others.

I shouldn't pick on you Michaela, this has been the trend du jour of late, shorter and shorter snippets that are just sex scenes interrupted by blind machismo. I know your Followers to Stories ratio is excellent, so I will try the archives to find more of your work.

A man walks into a bar... That was your whole story...

You have the makings of something interesting

What now?

He was drugged, but recovered quickly enough to break through a door and beat up a guy?

.

When the cops arrived, he was arrested. Eventually the charges are dropped, but it cost him a couple thousand in attorneys fees.

Not finished or a real story more like a teaser for the rest of the story.

Finish the damned the story!

Fragment

aye , a nice Opener but more flesh to the bones plz

I won't give a rating because there isn't enough to work with.

FTDS!!!!! It's not cute or clever to post UNFINISHED 'stories'.

5 stars, Just one really pissed off husband, no special forces, navy seals, short and sweet right to the point.

FTDS! Gave it five stars for an excellent introduction!

Ia\ agree about the opening scene. But a good one. D

I hated it. Why? I’ve read a number of stories here that were poorly developed as if the author was writing with one hand and beating off with the other. The end result was utter garbage. This was not the case. This story started off really good. You could tell that the author knows how to write coherently. And then BAM. It’s over. No further plot development. It’s as if dinner was ready and it’s now time to turn off the PC. Please don’t start something and not finish it. You only hurt your fan base.

Simple scene...not a story... Complete it

Aint no one above an ass whoopping.

So within minutes of waking up from what he assumes was a drugged induced stupor, he is able to ascertain with 100% certainty that was drugged and his wife was willingly and knowingly cheating on him and able to fight another man and beat him to a bloody pulp?

You really are a special kind of stupid.

A good beginning and then very unsatisfying. It just died.

Just another open beginning, open ending attempt at a story. But really is this even a story?? Struggles to get going good and then just stops when it does. I guess on the bright side it wasn't about a cuck.

Well done. I wish it were longer, but this is an excellent flash story.

I agree with most others. Well written but overly short. The story needs explanations, both the prequal and sequall. Perhaps summed up by "Finish the damn story". Cheers.

3* Dear FTDS the Great, you need to return to writing in LW. This story, along with others, need your attention. Thank you sir.

This is what readers call a start of a BTB!

What's NEXT Now

Finish the damn thing or quit writing!! I’m so tired of you wannabe writers posting a half finished one page story!! You should be banned from posting!!!!!

I just do not get how someone who seems to be so drugged-up could beat up another guy who was not.

I like the rage, much more likely what were to happen. But part 2? Fall out? What about ol slutty wife?

Needs more. Good story but sort of lazy.

The writer left a lot of room for both a prequel and a sequel.

More please.

Not enough here to be a story. finish it... use this as a forward of sorts then tell the whole story.

WTF? And then what happened?

\

Odiouser, he didn't accost his wife for fucking the other guy, but for her part in drugging him.

OKAAYYY????

Now that was interesting, what now?????

You did not indicate any further chapters to explain further..

If this is complete as is, it is an unfinished story. All unfinished tales get an automatic 1/5.

If it does continue l will change my vote accordingly.

Another drugged husband story. 2 in one day, we got so lucky.

These stories lack any emotional impact other than getting the little wimps beating their chests like an Alpha male Ape. The writing itself was good, but the worn out plot line was pathetically stupid. The pandering to the wannabe tough buys is tedious at best.

In other words if you had put some effort into it and dropped the typical cliches you might have had something. You can write, you cant plot nor fill it out or create anything of substance, but 1 out of 4 aint bad. Right?

Well done intro to a story, wish you had finished it.

Good flash story anyway, but deserves more.

There must be more coming. This writer doesn’t leave his readers hanging

Well, they got her with her consent. Let them have her.

Three stars.

The waking up drugged was a bit long. I do like the ending.

I gave you a 4 but it was like a trailer scene to a movie. WTF is the story?

Nothing to see here, move along, move along g.

Great opening but where’s the rest ?

That's it??

come on,that bullshit ending.you a great writer what change.

Melodramatic muck. Not erotic. Cliché. Other than that, I don’t like it.

I assume there'll be another part otherwise this is pretty much a waste of time. A brief description of a violent sociopath doing what violent sociopaths do and blaming everybody else. Perhaps he was drugged, we don't really know because everything is so vague, however on this evidence I'd say they did the sensible thing but probably should have given him a larger dose.

You have an excellent story record so I feel a bit stupid offering advice, but what happened? Did you by any chance have a few too many before starting this story? The way I see this, it’s only a short scene out of a good story. The question is, “Will we ever see the entire story?” Nothing frustrates me more than starting a very good story only to find it is open ended and that it never gets finished. I have actually waited patiently for months only to be disappointed by authors who never ‘finish the damn story’.

This story is both ‘open ended’ and open started.’ Not your best effort by far. (And I really am your fan.) Good Luck! cd

Like others have said this is only part of a story. Is there more to come?

Needs both a prequel and a sequel.

one fifth of a story gets one fifth of a score

This is promising but I really wish you would have completed the story in one shot. Or at least noted that there would be a part 2. We haven't heard from any other character and this is obviously an open-ending. Waayy too open in my opinion. Please conclude soon.

Why are all the good, interesting stories becoming shorter and shorter? We get 6 page cuckold stories every day, but stories like this are barely 6 paragraphs. I really hope you plan to give us more of this one based on your great start.

Interesting start, will you continue this? To Odiouser, His wife willingly let him be drugged, not caring that there could be potential side effects. Maybe severe ones. His response was mild compared to that crime.

Where is the ending? **

It’s a vignette, get over it.

What you gave us was interesting. But with no background…no lead up….and no followthru, it really was nothing more than a torn page out of a magazine.

.

Some might like this. Some might think it clever or elegant. But I look at it as cheating on your readers.

.

2 **

This had the potential to be very good. It did, however, need some revealing of how it all developed and some sort of an aftermath beyond calling the cops.

I would have given you a much better grade for this story if you had finished telling it! 3 *!

Well MAYBE he's been drugged, maybe he had too much to drink. No signs that he's been held captive, just placed on a bed. He's guilty of assault and battery so he's going to jail probably. But what happens we don't know and are left to guess at. I HATE unfinished stories.

like it but need chapter 2

You stopped too soon. As with many stories, it takes forever to post a second and subsequent installments. People lose interest. Don’t let that happen here.

Like others have said…no lead up, no conclusion, just part of what could have been a good story, and 5 stars. Partial effort gets partial scores, 2 stars

So it seems we have to accept the fact that authors now have no need to write a story, we are now subjected to single scenes from a larger story, the usual excuse is that the author wants the reader to imagine their own beginnings and endings, pretentious tripe masquerading as high concept, the reality is the author didn’t have a clue how to start or how to finish.

The norm nowadays appears to be that the really dire stories get thousands of words over multiple chapters written by people who lack the ability to stop themselves, whilst submissions that have the foundation for an interesting read (like this one) get one page that’s more akin to a synopsis for a longer entry.

It may seem churlish to criticise authors giving of their free time and submitting their efforts for our enjoyment, but the change from full stories to mere summaries is somewhat irritating.

My rant takes nothing away from this authors quality of writing it’s simply that here is one story that is indicative of the now popular trend of unfinished work but like Oliver Twist with bowl in hand it begs for more.

What is the point?

A great beginning. Waiting for the equally interesting conclusion.

The guy was clearly drugged to knock him out and allow the wife to partake in a mixed group sex with those so-called friends. He attacked David, David's sister in law, and his own wife, but he was under the effect of the drugs and alcohol and didn't know for sure what he was doing, he was afraid for his life and retaliated. In any case, he can care less if he goes to jail of not. He wanted revenge at any cost for his humiliation, and he exacted it. The marriage is toasted. He has no need for a sharing whore in his life, regardless if she "loves" him or not. He voluntarily called the police to give himself up and make the matter public. Use your imagination readers. No marriage, no friends, may be some jail time. Time to move on to another story.

Just nod if you're being held captive and was forced to post whatever this is.

Please say a part 2 is coming?!

1/2 a story

Ah the typical LW husband angst story. the wife is a slut and the friends drug him, but not enough...

if they drugged him, why didn't they lock him in a room?

No wife does this unless her husband is either a shit she wants revenge on or a slug in bed and she needs to score some good sex.

Assault will land hubs in prison where he will be bubba's bitch and the wife will have everything and men to fuck. Better fucks.

As I said, he heard the sound of laughter. Bubba is waiting.

Please finish!

Well, that was crap!

And to think I've got one of your earlier stories on my Favorites list!!

This could've been a awesome story if it was at least 2 pages, 3 tops. Way too short.

FTDS. No rating for a fragment.

This guy did what any real man would do. But it was confusing and a mess.

How does the next paragraph go?

It's a P.O.S.!!

That was as erotic as watching a Nancy Pelosi press conference. We need a "wimps write revenge stories" section.