All Comments on 'Third Wheel Renter Pt. 02'

Amazing Chapter buddy, leaving the seeds for part 3, hope both get pregnant and give birth in part 3 and become the perfect slave-wives for him

I really liked the plot, except for the ending. I would have preferred something where they would “voluntarily choose” (and urge him) to play the game again, starting at noon the first day after the weekend. The next morning all three of them agree to be role-playing during all their waking hours. The game stops for a player who is asleep, so they can dream as their real selves.

from a story standpoint I thought it was very good, I do recommend having at least one person proofread.

the main issue I have is for there are bits (in both part one and two) where you waffle between past tense and present tense (my own example: "he left them in bed as he went back to his room" vs "he leaves them in bed as he goes to his room" ) I personally can't stand present tense I much prefer past tense but switching back and forth is generally confusing.

Where's the next one