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Turning her head slightly, Rikki gave Lena a little kiss on the forehead. "I'm lucky to have friends like you," she said softly. To make sure Winnie knew she included her, she hugged her tight. She was rewarded with Winnie laying a hand on top of her arm and stroking it. "God, you all make me feel loved," Rikki said. Her voice cracked a little as she struggled to stop from crying.
"You are loved, Rikki. You've got us, plus lots of other people who care about you," Lena told her as she leaned up and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.
Winnie found her heart suddenly beating so hard that she couldn't believe that Rikki didn't feel it. Her mouth was dry and she wasn't sure she could get a word out. As much as she wanted to echo Lena's supportive words, they scared her. They hit too close to home. Instead, she settled for lifting Rikki's hand to her lips and kissing it, then holding it tight to her chest.
Rikki couldn't win the fight. She felt tears starting to run down her cheeks. She hugged Winnie even tighter. "God, there I go again," she said. "I thought I could get through the weekend without crying."
Swallowing, Winnie finally found her voice. "Rikki, we don't mind, and at least this time I don't think it is because you are unhappy. It's because you are surround by people who care for you. That's a good thing, right?"
Rikki laughed through her tears. "No, you're right. It's a good thing I have you," she said. Taking in a long breath, she let it slowly out and started to regain control over her emotions.
"Yes it is," Winnie said. She turned her head slightly, wanting to kiss her cheek. From her angle, it was out of reach so she gave Rikki a kiss on the neck instead. She didn't realize how her lips stayed there far longer than she intended. When she finally ended it, she rested her head against that spot and closed her eyes. It was as far as she could go now in showing her feelings. "I'm not ready, and neither is she," Winnie thought to herself.
After having dampened down her reaction to Winnie resting against her, the kiss stoked Rikki's fires back up. Despite how her lips lingered, Rikki knew she only meant it to be reassuring just like Lena. "She has no idea how much she is affecting me," she thought as she tried to keep a slow steady breath and resist the desire to press her hips forward against Winnie's tight ass. Up to now, she barely noticed the urge but now it was so strong. If the two of them were alone, she couldn't have resisted. In the van with everyone else, it was impossible to do anything about it.
"At least this stopped the tears," she thought to herself. As the moment passed, she found she could enjoy the feeling of both women against her once again without it making things too hard. Still, she couldn't help wondering how much longer it was going to take to get back to the put-in. "I'm only human," she thought as Lena shifted a little to get more comfortable and ended up with her breast pressing up against Rikki's arm. The warm heaviness played on Rikki's mind, leading to thoughts of how it would feel in her hand. Winnie's breasts were just above where her hand rested. A twitch of temptation to compare the two went through her mind.
"Stop it!" Rikki thought sharply to herself.
Fortunately, just then the van pulled off the road and came to a stop. The ordeal was at an end. When Winnie sat up and started to crawl to the side door, Rikki felt the absence of her warm body that seemed to fit so perfectly against her, and she wondered if she was really glad it was over. Sighing, she followed her out. "It doesn't really matter one way or another," she told herself.
Transferring gear from the van into the other cars didn't take long, and they were soon caravanning back to the campground. Winnie jumped into Rikki's SUV before Logan had the chance to ask her if she wanted to catch a ride with him in Sawyer's car. "It feels like she is avoiding me," he thought to himself. They barely talked all day. Part of that was because he had customers and focused on them, as he did when she was with him on the Methow, but the other part was that her focus was on her group of friends. Just like Sawyer and Bohdi, he was unaware of either Rikki's separation or the death of Yamile's husband, and obviously didn't know about how Winnie spent a day with them this week to help Rikki. Although the tight connection between the two of them wasn't new, he didn't realize how much it deepened over the last couple of weeks.
The drive to the campground wasn't long. The Klickitat was in a much more remote area than the Wenatchee and it was mostly empty except for the rafting group. They left the tents up during the day, although nobody left anything in them. Even though there was no one there to watch them, they were undisturbed. Between getting an early start and it being a small group of customers, it was only the mid-afternoon.
Everyone put out camp chairs and coolers. Bohdi got out his bong and but only Sawyer joined him. The rest were fine with slowly drinking some beer. It was nice not having to deal with the tents. Everyone seemed more relaxed than after a typical day on the river.
While they were sitting in a circle, it still seemed like Rikki was the center of it. Winnie was on one side, with Lena sitting very close to her. Close on the other side was Yamile. Although Indigo didn't really know her, it didn't stop her from putting her chair right next to Yamile. On the end of that group was Liz, right beside Indigo. The guys were more spread out, leaving room between them. It was a distinct contrast to how tight the women were. Logan made sure to leave space for Winnie to move her chair later.
For a long time, it was a leisurely conversation, ebbing and flowing, following the current wherever it went. Liz and Logan tended to dominate as they talked about all the rivers they had run. No one seemed to mind. With the exception of Yamile, they were all rafters and she was quickly turning into a rafting groupie. The tales of running unfamiliar rivers was something they all enjoyed.
Far more than she expected, Yamile was having a great time. Although they were good friends, Rikki was younger than most of her other friends. It was a new experience to be hanging out with a bunch of people in their twenties. Normally the young people she knew were her daughters' friends. While she got along with them, it was a different relationship. The gap between them was between kids and adults, while this was just the years.
"They're so accepting," she thought. "I feel so comfortable. It's like I'm one of them even though I only just met them." She smiled, remembering that in fact she met Liz a number of years ago. While being hit on by her didn't bother her, it was a unique situation. She knew few lesbians and even those were only casual acquaintances. Even in the intervening years, she hadn't gotten to know any others.
"Now I'm surrounded by them," she thought. Looking over at Winnie and Rikki, she corrected herself. "Well, maybe not surrounded, but half and half." Even with Winnie and Rikki, there was a degree of comfort in how close they were that was a bit surprising. The same was even truer with Winnie and Lena, who was resting her head on her friend's shoulder. If there was ever any unease about other people's sexuality, it disappeared long ago.
If Yamile was even more observant, she might have noticed how even she snuggled right up against Rikki and how they linked arms. As it was, it just felt comforting. The support she drew from her had become very important since Claudio died. Hardly a day went by without the two of them talking. This just seemed like more of the same.
"Yamile, how old are your girls?" Indigo asked her.
Turning to look at her, Yamile smiled when she saw how Liz had arm around her. It was the first time she'd ever seen anyone with Liz. It was quite different that having to fend off her advances. "She almost looks content," she thought.
"Paloma's 17 and Rosa is 15," she replied.
"Oh, wow those can be challenging ages," Indigo replied. "I know they were for my parents." She paused in thought before going on. "Of course, part of that was my coming out. Probably not your problem."
"Not that I know of," Yamile said with a laugh.
Both Indigo and Liz laughed. "I suspect you would know," Liz said. "You are a very accepting person. Claudio too." Her eyes saddened, and she looked down. "Sorry, I shouldn't bring him up."
Like Liz, Indigo was fully aware of his death, and she reached out to pat Yamile's arm even though she didn't know what to say.
"It doesn't bother me. It's good to know others liked and respected him," Yamile said looking at Liz and then patting Indigo's hand in return.
"I did, especially since he didn't seem to mind when I tried to seduce his wife," Liz said.
With a fake shocked look, Indigo swatted at her. "God, I can't believe you. You really tried to seduce Yamile in from of her husband," she said.
"Not quite in front of him, although I'm pretty sure he was aware what was going on," Rikki said, butting into the conversation. "You are looking at one of the few women to not give into Liz. It wasn't even close. I'm pretty sure he didn't mind because he knew that you just weren't a threat, my dear."
All the women laughed although neither Lena nor Indigo did so with quite the enthusiasm of the others. Their eyes met for a moment before looking away. They both knew where they stood. This weekend Liz was with Indigo. Other weekends it was Lena, but it was just as likely to be someone she met on the river or in a bar. Between her good looks and her charisma, she usually got the woman on whom she set her eyes.
"At least I'm not falling for her," Lena thought, as she looked at how Indigo snuggled into her arm. A part of her envied her, but only part. As much fun as Liz was and as good as the sex was, she wasn't willing to just wait around for her to call. The delightful feeling of being tight against Winnie was a reminder of the benefits of being independent. "Maybe nothing will happen, but it might," she thought. Either way, she was fine. She liked Winnie a lot as a friend; if she was interested, Lena would be happy to help her explore, but it wouldn't be a disappointment if she didn't. "Well maybe a little," she admitted, "but not too much."
The sky was starting to turn orange with streaks of red in it. The sun was slowly disappearing down behind some hills. Sawyer got up to grab some wood from the back of his car. When he came back, Yamile extricated herself from the women to help him. She loved a campfire.
Lena's eyes followed her, admiring Yamile's figure. "I can't blame Liz," she whispered to Winnie. "I wouldn't try to pick up a married woman, but damn!"
Giggling, Winnie looked over to see Yamile crouch down and lean forward to push a log into place. Her shirt rode up to expose her lower back and her hips. Her caramel-colored skin was smooth and although her hips were wide, there wasn't much fat on them. The top of a ruby red thong was clearly visible. "Damn is right," she whispered back. She was close enough that her lips barely brushed against Lena's ear. So comfortable now with Lena, she barely even noticed she'd done it although Lena certainly did.
Looking back towards the fire pit, she noticed Logan staring at her. A brief feeling of guilt ran through her. "I've barely talked to him all day," she thought. "I'm kind of being a bitch."
She touched Lena on the leg. "I'm going to the toilets. I'll be back," she said as she got up.
"Alright," Lena said. She looked across to see Logan. He didn't seem happy, and she felt a little prickle on the back of her head. She reached up to take Winnie's hand, but her eyes never left Logan. "Win, do you need me to come along," she asked.
Glancing over again at Logan, Winnie then looked back and smiled. "No, I don't think so. I'll be fine. And I'll be back," she said.
"Mmk, we're all here if you need us." Lena gave her hand a squeeze and then let go. The cool air of the early evening filled the spot where Winnie had been sitting. She missed her warm body already.
Winnie slowly walked into towards the toilet. She didn't even have to look back to know that Logan got up to follow her. She paused and let him catch up.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey, yourself," he answered. As he got to her, he was going to put his arm around her, but she started moving before he had a chance.
"I really need to go," she said apologetically as she moved briskly to the restrooms. They were actually outhouses, but it was early in the season so they weren't bad. Still once she got in there, she didn't waste any time and was out as quick as she could. Logan was waiting for her. Just because it didn't smell too bad didn't mean that they took their time in moving away. Once they were completely out of olfactory range, she stopped and looked at him.
Logan leaned forward to give her a kiss. At the last moment, Winnie moved so that he only caught the corner of her lips. She felt her face grow warm with a little blush. "I've had the whole week to think about it and I still don't know how I feel about what Gaby said," she thought to herself.
It seemed that the cold shoulder was continuing to Logan, although he couldn't guess why. "Are you pissed at me for some reason, Winnie?" he finally asked. "Because it's felt like that all day."
At first, Winnie just looked at him. "Am I?" she wondered, but the answer suddenly came to her.
"No, I'm not. It's just that I talked with Gaby last week," she said. Before she could go on, Logan interrupted her.
"Hey, she had no right. Is she still upset that we broke up? Don't let her get to you," Logan said, sounding almost instantly furious.
"It's fine, Logan. She just didn't want me to be crushed when you dump me at the end of summer, like you did to her or the girl last year. She just warned me not to expect anything permanent," she said. It surprised her how calm she felt.
"I don't have a plan," Logan replied. "I mean not a real one, but yeah when the season is over, I won't be around. I'm going to work at Tahoe this winter, so I guess it isn't likely that this will continue." He looked at her. "Winnie, you're 22. Are you really looking for something permanent now?"
"No," she said. "Actually, I'm not, which is why it doesn't bother me." She met his eyes with a gaze that was fully in control. "I have fun with you, but I'm not your girlfriend, Logan. I don't even want to be."
Most of the time, Logan was extremely smooth in dealing with women. He had a knack for getting them to see his point of view, even when they started out pissed. He'd said the lines so many times that they rolled off his tongue, but this time none of his well-practiced lines fit. "What do you mean?" he asked, and then winced inside with how lame that sounded.
"Neither one of us is promising anything to the other. If you want to get together, give me a call. If I'm free, I'll probably say yes. If I'm in the mood, I'll call you, but neither one of us should think the other is just waiting around for the call," she told him.
When he didn't say anything, she went on. "That's what you wanted, isn't it? Not to really have any commitment to each other."
Logan frowned. It wasn't at all what he wanted. He liked the certainty of having a main girl. While he could pick up someone for a one-night stand, it took work and there was no certainty it would pay off. Moreover, it helped avoid nasty incidents like when he hit on someone's wife or girlfriend and they objected.
"Winnie, I didn't say that. I just said who knows what will happen at the end of the summer," he said.
"Ah, I'm sorry that I gave you the idea I was looking for something more than fuck buddies, but I'm not," Winnie said, feeling pleased with herself for twisting the knife just a little.
"Oh. Okay, that's cool," he said, trying to recover. She nodded and turned to start heading back to where the fire was starting to light up the darkening campground. He took a couple of quick steps to catch up with her and put a hand on her arm. "I thought you could stay with me in my tent," he said.
Winnie gently shook his hand off and looked back at him. "Not this weekend, Logan. I want to spend the evening with my friends. Rikki's been through a lot this week," she said.
"That's fine, but I'm talking after she goes to bed." He looked confidently at her, sure that she wasn't interested in Sawyer or Bohdi.
"No, I think I'll spend the night with Lena," she said and then walked into the circle of firelight.
A chorus of "Winnie" ran out among the women as soon as she did. Rikki jumped up and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. After that, Lena got up and did the same. By the time she was settled back down, she had a kiss and a hug from everyone, including Sawyer and Bohdi.
The pile of bottles behind the camp chairs betrayed the fact that everyone finished off at least one beer while she was gone. "I must have been gone a little longer than I thought," she told herself as she snuggled back down in her spot. Rikki seemed to be just a little more relaxed. She and Yamile were talking with Indigo and Liz.
On the other side of her, Lena cuddled closer than before. Her arms went around Winnie. There was the slightest bit of a slur in her voice. "Everything okay, Win?" she softly asked
"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks for worrying about me," she replied.
"That's what friends are for," Lena said as she rested her head on her shoulder. She felt Winnie's hand touch hers where it rested in Winnie's lap. Her fingers opened automatically and the two women interlocked their hands. Closing her eyes, Lena gave a deep sigh. "Thanks for being here with me," she whispered.
"Of course," Winnie replied. She stared into the fire and tried to ignore how she was holding the hand of a woman she found extremely attractive. "Just enjoy the moment," she told herself.
"Ohhh," Lena said softly as she opened her eyes.
"What?"
"I don't know what you said to Logan but he's glaring at me," Lena told her. "Am I in his place?"
Winnie looked over at him and agreed with her assessment. It certainly looked like a full-on glare. She looked away. "No, you aren't. I told him I wasn't interested in sleeping with him tonight."
Lena tore her eyes away from Logan and glanced at her. "No? You gonna sleep with me?" Her eyes were an interesting combination of surprise, hope, and something else Winnie couldn't identify until she spoke again. "Only if you're sure, Win," Lena whispered. And then Winnie realized that the other thing was affection. With Logan, she saw desire and lust when he talked to her. With both Lena and Rikki, it was clear they both cared about her. It gave her a warm feeling inside.
"I'm not sure. We'll see, okay?" she told her friend.
"Of course," Lena said. She wanted to kiss the full lips so close to her own, but she held off. "We'll see where we go tonight," she thought. Despite her words, the way Winnie snuggled against her seemed to hold a promise of something more.
Before that, there was dinner. Everyone was getting hungry. Individually and in groups, they started getting up and making something. The guys all grilled something, whether it was hot dogs or a steak. It was an easy meal. While Indigo and Liz brought their own dinners, the other four women planned on a meal together of salmon, rice, and a salad. All the prep work was done back home before leaving, so all that remained was to grill the salmon and boil the rice pouches in water. It didn't take long before they were back in their chairs enjoying the meal.
Sawyer kept feeding the logs into the fire pit, creating a steady cracking of a roaring fire. It was hot enough that everyone moved their chairs a little further back to find a comfortable temperature. Despite the widening circle, Rikki and her friends stayed mostly tightly grouped, although Liz and Indigo moved a little bit away.
