Threading the Needle Ch. 12

The other women were all talking and Marika leaned against the door jam, content to be on the edge of the conversation. "It's quite a collection of friends I have," she thought. They were all very good looking, although in different ways. While Yamile was dark and sultry, Liz and Winnie were both blonde and tanned. Their similarities ended there. While Winnie was lithe and seemed small, Liz seemed much bigger with more curves and a substantially larger bust. From her vantage point, Marika was surprised to realize they were about the same height. While Liz had longer hair that was full of curls when she didn't have it pulled back into a ponytail, Winnie kept her hair much shorter. Her sister was a bit like a younger version of herself, before she had Kieran, with narrow hips and a cup size smaller. Her hair was much longer, hanging about halfway down her back.

As she watched Liz and Tereza laugh, she wondered whether or not Liz ever came on to her. Her skin prickled a little as the hairs on her arm stood up. "I hope not. That would be weird," she thought. "She was the little tag along sister, 8 years younger than me." She looked over at Winnie where she was putting glasses of water on the table with Yamile. "And yet, Winnie is her age." She shook her head and tried not to pursue that thought. "Beyond the weird factor, I doubt she would get anywhere with Tereza. She is so straight."

Over the last couple of years, she had grown closer to her sister and they shared more about things in their lives. While in her second year of college, Tereza confided that her dorm roommate was a lesbian. Having grown up knowing Liz, it didn't bother her at all, but she did come out of it all the more certain that guys did it for her. By that point, Marika was married with a new baby, and while she admitted to Tereza to having some curiosity, it seemed like any chance of exploring that was past her. She distinctly remembered that conversation because it was really the moment her relationship with her younger sister became one of friendship.

She heard her phone go off and stepped into the kitchen to pick it up. She knew from the ringtone that it wasn't Samuel. It was Weston, which surprised her a little.

"Hey, Weston. What's up?" she said as she answered.

"Hi Rikki. How are you doing?" Weston asked. She had told him about what was happening the previous Monday.

"Alright. You know," she replied.

"I can only imagine. Hey, I was thinking. I know this isn't a normal weekend for you to work, but we have a couple of trips scheduled this weekend that I thought might be fun and get your mind off things. We are running the Klickitat and White Salmon. I don't have a raft to guide, but I'm sure we can put a guide boat together. They are fun rivers and it's really pretty," he said.

"I don't think so," Marika started say when Liz interrupted.

"Is that Weston? I told him to call. You should go. It would be a blast," she said.

"Go where?" Winnie wanted to know.

"We have a trip down the Klickitat and White Salmon. Only a couple of boats, but we can have a guide boat too. Want to come?" Liz asked. Winnie nodded excitedly. She'd heard good things about both rivers.

"Hold on, Weston. Liz is trying to be persuasive," Marika said into her cell phone. "Look, yes it would be fun but this is my weekend with Kieran. After today, I don't want to call Samuel and tell him that he gets him. He'll use that against me."

"I can watch him. That's the point of me coming to live here, isn't it? God, Marika, give yourself a break. Don't punish yourself," Tereza interjected.

"And what if Samuel tries to come over? I don't want you facing him alone," Marika said, feeling the room shifting against her protests. Even Yamile was nodding.

"Mom called this afternoon. She said Dad wanted to spend the weekend here, just for that reason. They both wanted to spend Friday and Saturday night. They'll be fine if they don't have to compete with you for Kieran's attention," Tereza told her.

"I'll call Lena. I bet she'd give up trips down the Wenatchee for this," Winnie said.

Weston could hear most of the conversation. He could tell which way the wind was blowing. "Indigo, Logan, and Liz are the guides," he added. He knew that meant most of the people there were the ones with whom she was closest, unaware of her disdain for Logan. Still, the offer to spend the weekend with her best friends was hard to turn down.

"Can I bring a friend?" she asked. "She needs this as much as I do, maybe more."

Weston chuckled. "I suppose, as long as she isn't worthless. These are technical rivers and the water will be running pretty fast," he said.

"Okay, as long as I can convince her, I'll go," Marika told him. "I'll call you tonight if I'm unsuccessful, otherwise count on me." She disconnected and looked over at Yamile. "Well?"

Yamile's eyes widened as she realized that she was the friend. "Well, what?"

"All my best girlfriends are going to be there, except you. I'm not the only one who needs to have fun," Marika said.

"Oh that would be cool if you come," Winnie said.

"But I've never rafted," Yamile said in protest, lifting up a hand to emphasize her point.

"That doesn't matter. Rikki can get anyone down the river," Liz said, and quickly amended it. "Winnie too!"

"Thanks," Winnie said with a smile. Spending the day with Liz off the river changed her perspective a bit. Although she kept up a light flirting banter, she never pushed it. Winnie wasn't sure if it was Tereza's presence or the shared mission of helping Marika, but Liz had been truly friendly. "The bitchy seductress from the weekends wasn't here," she thought. "Maybe it was because there weren't any real targets, but it was easier to like her."

"I can't go; you forgot about the girls. I can't leave them alone for the weekend," Yamile said.

"What went for Marika, goes for you. With Mom and Dad, it is just as easy to watch three as one. Plus Paloma gives me someone a little closer to my age," Tereza said. She couldn't help laughing as Yamile's excuse disappeared.

"I'm not sure that the girls would like that. They are still struggling at times with Claudio's death," Yamile started to say when Marika turned around.

"Hey girls," she shouted. "Come here for a second!" The sound of giggles got louder as the three children came into the kitchen. Paloma was demonstrating her strength by holding Kieran up by his ankles as she walked. Everyone laughed as he wiggled, not quite trying to get away. Noticing that Paloma was starting to tremble a bit from the effort, Liz stepped in and took him away from her the same way. Upside down was one of her and Kieran's favorite games. She took him back out to the family room to wait for the girls.

"So I have a question. Your mom has a chance to go rafting this weekend with me. She'd be gone Friday and Saturday nights. I said you could stay with Tereza and help watch Kieran, if you wanted to, so she could go. What do you think?"

Rosa bounced over to her mother, holding her hands together. "Oh Mom, could we? That would be fun!" she exclaimed. She kept on bouncing.

Before turning, Paloma met Marika's eyes. She had a sly smile on and gave her a little nod. Since the death, her mother had no time for herself. At first, it was all the details, but now it was mostly about them. Not only did she not take time for herself, the girls got little time on their own. She was always around, wanting to make sure they were okay. Even with spending it helping to watch a small boy, it would still be a break and some time away. "Maybe it will be easier to not get so irritated with her," Paloma thought. "There are times when I just want to yell at her and tell her to leave me alone."

She never would, however, because she knew it was just part of how she was dealing with things. All she had to do was look at Marika to know how lucky her mom and dad had been, and how hard it was to lose your soulmate. "It's pretty obvious that Samuel wasn't Marika's," she thought to herself.

"Mom, go. It will be fun," Paloma said aloud. She glanced shyly at Tereza. They weren't really close in age, but the chance to get to know a college graduate was intriguing.

"Full disclosure," Tereza said. "Our parents will be here. They want some time with their only grandchild, so they won't be in the way." She looked at Rosa. "You'll have a little competition for Kieran's attention."

Rosa was suddenly a little shy. The gap in age between them seemed huge, although not as much as old people like her mom and Marika.

Tereza smiled as she sized up the young teen. "You two can catch me up on all the latest stuff. I feel so out of it now," she told her. That seemed to work. Rosa nodded at her and looked at her mom, starting to bounce a little again.

"No excuses now, Yamile," Marika said. "Please say yes, because I can't go without you."

"Why is that?" Yamile wanted to know. The sparkle in her eyes was proof that she was most of the way to saying yes. She just wanted to tease her friend a bit.

"Because I said," Marika told her as Liz came into the kitchen again, holding Kieran who had his arms tight around her neck. He heard what she said.

"And you have to do what Mommy says," he said very seriously.

"That's right sweetie," she said as she stroked his cheek.

"Okay fine, I'll go," Yamile said, admitting defeat.

Everyone cheered. Even though he had no idea why they were doing it, Kieran happily yelled along with everyone else.

Since dinner was ready and the places set, Liz organized everyone to serve the food. As they ate, they made the plans for the weekend. Yamile surprised herself by how enthusiastic she was. Although she and Marika hung out a lot, she knew nothing about this part of her life. Beyond that, it had been a while since she had a group of tight female friends. She already felt a connection to Winnie, and she was certain she would like the other guides. She already felt like she knew them after listening for months to Rikki talking about them.

The rest of the week went fast. Samuel finally tried to contact Marika on Thursday afternoon, but she ignored his phone calls. She didn't even bother to listen to his messages. He didn't have anything to say that she wanted to hear. Anything important could go through their lawyers. The talk with Kieran went as well as it could with a four-year-old. While he was upset, he understood that his mommy was unhappy and he didn't want that. Since at that age nothing is permanent, he had more difficulty in why his daddy couldn't fix it.

"Sweetie, do you remember when Mommy broke her favorite crystal vase?" she said. "Sometimes a mommy and a daddy get to a place where, no matter what, you can't put it back together. That's where we are," she said. While it didn't answer all his questions, it was enough to satisfy him at that moment.

If he missed Samuel, Marika couldn't find any evidence of it. Having Auntie Tereza there was a great distraction, and his excitement over all the weekend visitors drove anything else out of his mind. When Yamile showed up after work on Friday, he barely even noticed Marika getting all of her things together. His grandparents were already there.

Shortly after Yamile arrived, Lena pulled up with Winnie. They were all going together. It was a long drive down to the river. Having more people would make the drive seem to go faster. Just like with Winnie, Yamile instantly found a connection with Lena. Her vivacious personality made it hard not to like her.

"She's a sweetheart," Yamile told Marika as they were finishing putting the last of the gear into the SUV. It was packed completely full.

"She is," Marika said as she watched the two younger women talking with her parents. "They both are," she added. She smiled as she watched them charm her father. He seemed to enjoy the banter back and forth. Her mother watched with an indulgent look. It was good for his ego and her mom knew that he was completely harmless. Marika grinned at Yamile. "The term whipped was invented for my Dad."

Yamile laughed. "Thanks for insisting on this. You're right. Claudio would hate for me to become a shut in. That so wasn't us," she said. "Paloma has been telling me that, but I guess moms don't listen to their daughters any more than daughters do to their moms!"

After giving her a little hug, Marika went over to the others. Tereza came out at the same time. "Well, we need to go. It's over seven hours to get to the campground without any stops. I've got sandwiches so hopefully we'll only need to stop for gas," she told her sister. "Sorry you volunteered?" she asked as she gave her a long hug.

"Not at all. You need this. Both of you do," Tereza said, giving Yamile a little smile. "Now go. We'll be fine."

Everyone climbed into Marika's SUV. As she drove off, she smiled at how Kieran was completely unaware of her departure. He was the center of attention for his "girlfriends," his aunt, and his grandparents. It would be a while before he missed her, if he ever did.

The drive over was long, but uneventful. Yamile drove the last bit, taking over after they gassed up. Since none of them had been there before, it was just as easy for her to find it as Marika. They pulled into the campground close to midnight. The van with the rafts made it easy to find where Liz and the others were camping. They had a couple of campsites so that there was enough room for everyone.

As they climbed out of the SUV and stretched, it was quickly apparent that the others didn't wait up for them. Winnie recognized Logan's tent. For a moment, she contemplated taking her sleeping bag and joining Logan there, but she remembered what Gabby said last weekend. "I can't know that he doesn't have someone in there with him," she thought to herself. She wasn't even sure how she felt about that. Although she enjoyed herself with Logan, she already was starting to have a hard time imagining it being something that would last very long, even before talking with his ex-girlfriend. "I should at least talk with him tomorrow," she thought as she turned back to look at Lena.

The other younger woman was at the back of the SUV pulling out her tent. She had suggested that they share her tent. Winnie hadn't said yes, partially because of Logan, but also because of Liz. It was hard to guess what she would do this weekend. As she looked around, there was only one other tent up. "I guess it's an Indigo weekend," Winnie thought to herself. She walked over to Lena and put her arm around her. "If that offer to share a tent is still open, I'll take you up on it," she said.

Lena leaned against her friend for a moment. She didn't expect Liz to surprise her. After all, she and Indigo spent hours in the van together. By the time they got here, they probably put up their tent as soon as possible and fucked until exhausted. It didn't stop it from hurting a little, but just a little ache. She was adjusting her expectations of Liz. "Of course it is," she said. Being in a tent with Winnie might be fun too, but of course, she thought she might have competition there as well. "There's interest though, that's for sure. Maybe more than Logan can handle," she thought with a smile.

The two of them got the tent put up and transferred their gear into it so that there was space for Yamile and Marika to sleep in the vehicle. Everything else was on the front seats so that Marika could roll out the thick foam that served as her bed when she slept there. Usually it was just her, but there was enough room for someone else too.

By the time both sets of women were done, the late hour and long drive were getting to them. No one wanted to stay up late. After a round of hugs, everyone went in and climbed into their sleeping bags.

In the tent, both Winnie and Lena undressed until they just had on T-shirts and panties, like the previous weekend. It was impossible for either one of them to avoid thinking back to when they slept on a tarp together. Lena felt a slight wave of excitement as she remembered how she came while Winnie and Rikki slept on either side of her. She still was unaware that both of the other women were awake and listening, which is what kept playing through Winnie's mind. Beyond that, there was the kiss they shared several weeks ago. The barriers Winnie built up back home in Oklahoma were slowly falling. Up until recently, she kept trying to rebuild them. "Now? I'm not sure I want to anymore," she thought as she snuggled down in her warm sleeping bag, and then rolled onto her side.

She watched Lena in the dim light as she tried to get comfortable, shifting every minute or so. Finally, there was a little sigh and she rolled onto her side too, facing the same direction. Despite everything, neither one of them drifted right off to sleep. They were both too aware of each other. Winnie's eyes stayed open as she looked at the back of her friend's head. While she was a tiny bit excited, something else kept her awake. It finally came to her, and then she smiled. "Lena is too nervous to do this, I bet," she thought.

Not trying to hide it, she wiggled closer. When her body was touching the back of Lena's bag, Winnie reached out and put her arm over her. She wiggled a little more until they were spooned. After a moment of stillness, she felt Lena wiggle backwards enough that it felt perfect. Lifting up her head, Winnie gave her a little kiss on the cheek.

"Sleep tight, Lena," she said softly.

There was a slight fumbling and she felt Lena take her hand and pull it tight around her. "You too, Winnie," she said. A big yawn caught her at the end of it. Both of them were now really feeling the weariness. Even as she fell asleep, Lena didn't let go of Winnie's hand.

In the SUV, they didn't have the same problems. While there were moments when Rikki felt attracted to Yamile, tonight the feelings were tenderer. Both of them were going through bad patches and the support each was giving the other had strengthened the bond between them. She appreciated everything that Yamile was doing for her. As they softly talked, she knew that Yamile felt the same way.

"I'm so glad you are here," Rikki said. "I want to show you why I love this so much. Plus, it is good for you to get out a little."

Yamile was on her side looking at Rikki. The sad and somewhat haggard look she had all week had vanished. In its place was a relaxed and content expression. The full force of her good looks was there. "She won't have any trouble finding someone as soon as she is ready," she thought. She smiled slightly at her friend.

"I know. It's hard at times. When I find I'm enjoying myself, I feel I'm betraying Claudio. I know that's stupid, and he wants me to be happy, but you can't control emotions," Yamile whispered.

"No, you can't, but you are right about Claudio. You two lived life to its fullest; he wouldn't want that to stop," Marika said.

Yamile looked at her and then quickly looked away. "What?" Marika wanted to know. In the dark, and with her skin tone, it was impossible to know for sure but it looked like she was blushing. "Come on, what is it?"

"It just popped into my mind that the one of the hardest parts is starting to be the lack of sex. I haven't had sex since before he left on his trip, and well you know...." She trailed off.

"Yeah, I know. You two used to hump like Energizer Bunnies! You told me enough times back then," Marika said with a grin.

"Well, I'm going through the Energizer batteries, I got to tell you. It's not the same as being with someone though," she replied. In her mind, she knew it would never be the same as being with him. That degree of connection only came from soul mates, and she lost hers.

Marika sighed. She understood not only what Yamile was saying, but also the unspoken words. She reached out and stroked her arm. "Give it time. And when it happens, it's not a betrayal. I can't imagine that Claudio would expect you to be a nun," she said softly.