All Comments on 'Three Sisters Ch. 04'

Enjoying this story immensely. I like that they staff treats the girls with care, but firmness. They're being dominated, but not harmed. Nevertheless, I feel that this story won't end with them walking away. Good job keeping the dramatic tension flowing.

I'm glad you're enjoying the story! And bravo for picking up on the behavior of the staff: I figured it would be predictable to make them brutal or sadistic, so why not make them fairly ordinary people who have to conform to corporate "customer care" culture so that well-off middle class ladies would feel comfortable taking their daughters there to be graded?

I also like the way the slaver staff are depicted. I think it makes the story more exciting and more believable if the prospect of slavery is more . . . Seductive. Another commenter on a previous chapter asked for more descriptions of the girls' thoughts, and I agree - it would be incredibly humiliating to have pictures taken like that, so I'd like to see what the girls think, and why they think this is all worth it. It's mentioned in chapter 1 but more elaboration would be nice. I liked also the talk of psychology. It makes the reader change from "I'd never react like that" to "omg, what if I reacted that way?" Or "what if my hot neighbor reacted that way when I bought her?" ;)

One more suggestion- I think the chapters should be two pages instead of 1. The reader sees a 10 chapter series and thinks it's a mini novel, but gets a much shorter story. Ok, that's enough critique, I don't want to end up a victim in your story!