Tia's Bucket List Ch. 07

And then I cried out loud. The water was cold, like literally freezing! The cold bit into my nipples and shot through my body! As I shivered violently, I bit my lips to stifle my screams. After all, gym members could be parking their cars or running to the building. They might hear me! The danger was extreme! And yet, it was damn hard to stay still! Not just because of the cold, but also because of the disgust. This was gross as fuck!

As a result, I needed some time to adjust before I finally bent back over the dirty trashcan filled with brackish rainwater. This was yikes! But it was successful! My nipples were harder than ever, standing out from my tits and bulging the pink top. Definitely a super vulgar display! In any other gym, I would have been chucked out on my ear. In the Gonzo Gym, however, it was the only way to get in. Talk about an exclusive door policy! How absurd!

Accordingly, Chet was delighted when I was back at the reception desk. Finally, my outfit met his requirements. He particularly liked the color, pointing out that I finally looked the part of a bimbo. I still don't know whether to take it as praise or insult! I don't like it either way. But for once, I refrained from clapping back, preferring to beam over my success. Once doesn't count, right?

"Yo, chica! That's a nice look on ya. Damn right!" Chet exclaimed, finally putting an end to this charade. "Now, I see the billboard barbie the brofessor promised to send over. Betcha!"

"Time to get the training started." He suddenly made me sit up and take notice. "But first, you gotta welcome the rest of the participants."

Beg your pardon? He still wouldn't let me enter? That was so presumptuous! But wait! He just said participants, right? So, this wasn't a one-on-one training session. This was news to me! I had no idea who the other participants were. Surely, our new temp Belle wasn't part of it, was she? That'd take the cake! Period!

But far from it! Instead, my instructor held his arms up. In a typical bodybuilder posture, he flexed his biceps. Doing so, the sleeves of his tracksuit slid up, revealing a tattoo on the insides of his upper arms. Holy shit! It seriously said 'Bros b4 Hoes'! No kidding! The sight left me dumbfounded. How misogynistic can you be?

"Greet my bros!" The buff bozo bragged. "C'mon, chica! Say hello like the French do! Your bae did it too!"

What the fuck? For a moment I was thunderstruck. But then I realized he wasn't joking. Hard to believe but Holly had actually done it as part of her training. Oh wow! I didn't know whether to be impressed or disturbed. My bestie kept revealing new sides of herself during our internship. Still, it must have taken a hell of an effort on her part. With her Italian blood, she was way too proud to do something so demeaning. She must have stabbed him with her icy blueys first. Bet! To be honest, I wanted to do the same, but I completely failed. Instead of throwing daggers at the filthy freshman, I hurled a barrage of hysterical giggles at him. Damnit!

And with that, my resistance was broken. Someone who sounded so silly could do any other stupid stuff, right? So, I pursed my lips and kissed all three words. I did the whole thing in the shabby lobby of a run-down gym while members worked out around us. You have to see it to believe it! Even now, it seems surreal to me although I lived it! I don't think I've ever done anything so cringe! But at least, I got a reward for my submission! The Dicktator let me into the gym, so my training could begin. Finally!

---Buzzerfly blonde takes promotion to the next level---

Chet was serious about giving me a tour of the Gonzo Gym. As if he were giving an introduction to the newest Gonzo Gal. Keeping a straight face, he showed me the whole shebang, like all the machines and equipment. As it turned out, he was a great actor, playing the role of fitness coach insanely well. I, on the other hand, could hardly contain myself. The situation was so absurd that I had to giggle several times. The irony was next level!

Whether I liked it or not, I still had to play along. So, my instructor started with the cardio area and had me try out the treadmill. This was ridiculous! It wasn't my first rodeo. I knew how the equipment worked. But of course, the buff bozo had an ulterior motive. He wanted to see my big-ass boobs bounce as I ran. No wonder, considering I was only wearing a flimsy top and no bra. In the end, boys will be boys, right?

And so, my terrific titties jiggled and wobbled, literally like whooping windcones blowing in a storm. Fortunately, there was little going on in the cardio area, so the vulgar display went relatively unnoticed. Nevertheless, I felt totally on show, like in a fishbowl. To make it less obvious that the whole thing was all about my fabulous funbags, I tried to engage the Dicktator in a conversation. After my daily edging sessions, however, I was too horny to come up with creative questions, so I ended up asking about Holly's training.

"Hehehe! You enjoyed being a proxy, huh?" The swole schmuck laughed at me. "Experiencin' Holly's story first hand, that's right up your alley, ain't it? Like an avatar! Hollow on the inside, controlled from the outside."

"No wonder! You look like a custom cunt! Haha!" He added with a laugh. "Born for porn n built for filth! Hell yeah!"

Jesus Christ! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. No one had ever called me a numbnut and hollowhead in such an elegant way. At the same time, though, no one had ever praised me to the skies like that. And so, my pride covered my indignation. When the man is right, he's right! Other bitches can only dream of looking this good! Especially as I'm all natural and a true blonde. That's extremely rare! Finally, someone's said it!

"All right, chica! You wanna know what Holly did?" The fit freshman asked rhetorically.

And then my breath caught in my throat when he spelled out what my bae had done during the introduction. My shock turned into a lump in my throat when the junior macho asked me to repeat her words. I gulped... and gulped again... I looked around in panic.... there was barely anyone around, so this was the best chance I was going to get. It was now or never!

I opened my mouth... and the Dicktator shocked me for the second time. Right before I started, he pulled his phone from his pocket and started filming my introduction. What the hell? That made it so much worse and even more difficult! After all, it had just gone from public disgrace to eternal humiliation! For fuck's sake!

"Hi everyone, I'm Tata Shakes! I need to learn to be extra obedient to make up for being plain stupid. A hundo p! That's why I'll follow all the instructions during this training. No cap! I'll work real hard to become a super submissive slut. Promise!" I said word for word.

Jesus fucking Christ! I never thought I'd stoop so low as to give myself a stupid nickname, but apparently Holly had done the same in her introduction. I didn't like it, but that's life! Shit happens! To be honest, I liked it even less that I had to come up with a name on the fly. A fair warning would have been nice, especially as the nick had to be super sexist and mega misogynistic. That made it extra humiliating and real difficult! And so, I'm the first to admit that my nom de whore sounded super silly. Was it better than Pawgie DeHooka? I hope so. But in the end, you'll have to decide for yourself, folks!

Whatever! I said it loud enough for a group of women to take notice and look over at us. But luckily, they were standing too far away to hear everything. It shouldn't have mattered anyway! Not to be mean, but they looked like a bunch of trailer park beauty queens who were way out of my league. And yet, I still wanted the ground to swallow me up. No way, I was going to let that name become a thing. Never ever!

"OK, Tata Shakes!" Chet instantly exploited my slip of the tongue. "The first exercise was real basic. Pawgie was supposed to get me beer."

Oh shit! Now, the chick clique had definitely heard the words. Looking over, they shook their heads and wrinkled their noses before they put their heads together to gossip. Fucking hell!

"Turned out harder than expected, tho. You know Holly's honkers... or lack thereof... so you know her itty bitty committee." The Dicktator continued with a chuckle. "That's why she had to work the bottle with her phat ass booty."

"And that's where you come in, Tata Shakes! You got the chance to finish what your booty bae started." He shouted enthusiastically. "Boom, chica! Time to perform the original."

Oh jeez! As if his words weren't bad enough, the beefy bro acted like a cringey cliché of a fitness coach, clapping his hands to motivate me to get a move on. And it worked! Climbing off the treadmill, I hurried off. My exercise was ultra-lewd, so I wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. Heading straight for the vending machine, I bought three energy drinks. That was a good start!

But then the hard part began. As I tried to stuff an energy drink down my cleavage, I found out that it wasn't as easy as I had expected. My pink v-neck was so low that it barely held the can. Instead, the drink stuck out between my fab fleshpads, looking obscene as hell. No doubt, everybody could see it! With an energy drink in each hand, I made my way to my friends, the gym grunters. Let me tell you, they got wide-eyed when they saw me with the can in my cleavage. The sight was so sick it left them speechless! Finally, I was getting the recognition for my talents I deserved! It made me beam with pride and helped me overcome my embarrassment. Facts!

"Hiya, boys! The time has come to talk of other things -- of shoes n shirts n sexy fits!" I came up with a Vonderstone catchphrase based on the eponymous novel.

It may sound absurd, but I created the slogan for one reason and one reason only. I wanted to avoid saying my new nickname at all costs. Period!

"Look!" I gushed all geed-up. "When you shop at Vonderstone, you get great gifts n cute coupons. Like these free drinks! Ain't that awesome?"

"Oh, hihi! You see, I only got two hands! How else am I supposed to present you dudes with free drinks, right?" I smiled away their questioning looks as they stared at my fabulous funbags.

To finish my promotion, I quickly gave the gym grunters an energy drink before they got any stupid ideas. Pulling the can from my cleavage, I bent over deep enough to give them a good look down my titslit. I was sure they wouldn't forget the promo puppet anytime soon. It's not every day you meet a bubbly blonde like me! More importantly, though, I was certain that the name Vonderstone had been etched into their memories forever! No wonder, as often as I had stressed it! But that was my job as billboard barbie, wasn't it?

As you see, folks, the first step was made! But it was only the beginning! So, I bought three more drinks from the vending machine. Holding one in each hand, I put the third where it belonged: right in my rack crack. You could say I had a tin can stuffed between my fleshcans! Prepared like this, I went to the tatted workout warriors in the free weight area. Of course, they leered at me from afar. But this time, they didn't leave it at that! They also whistled and cracked dirty jokes. It seemed like they had thrown all inhibitions overboard, even though we were still in a public place.

"Hiya, boys! Hihi! You know, the time has come. No cap! Let's talk of other things, like totally. Hihi! Like literally of shoes n shirts n sexy sluts. For sure!"

The tattooed turds had me repeat my catchphrase until I was using more filler words than nouns and giggling more than talking. So silly! And so degrading! But not enough to stop me. The more I had to repeat the slogan, the more they heard it and the less likely they were to forget it. That's marketing101! Facts!

The roughnecks, however, didn't wait for me to hand them the energy drinks. Instead, one of the biker brutes came right up to me. With his unique look, he had caught my eye before, and now I got to see it up close. On both arms, he sported red flame tattoos that blazed all the way up to his neck. To complete the firestarter look, he also had red flames dyed into the sides of his short black hair. Matching his appearance, he had a fiery temper and couldn't wait to snatch the can from my neckline. He didn't even ask! And why should he? I was offering the goods for free, so it was there for the taking. It figures!

Anyway, the firestarter didn't go straight for the energy drink. Instead, he brushed his hand over my bomb-ass bouncers first. He didn't even make it look like an oopsie and he didn't need to! Instead of protesting, I twitched hard when he touched my nipple. And so, the biker repeated it two more times, grinning wickedly at me. Jesus! The guy surely knew how to have fun. And I can't deny that my pussy was starting to have fun, too! But sadly, it was time to bring this promo to an end. After all, I had to distribute more free drinks.

As if! The biker had animated his buddies, to the point that a second dude quickly followed suit. Wearing a bandana and white muscleshirt, he seemed like the fun guy in the group. And I can tell you, folks, he provided plenty of fun... just not for me. Taking the energy drink from my hand, he stuffed it right into my titslit. Apparently, do-it-yourself was the motto of the day! And that's why he didn't stop, even though I shot him an indignant look. Instead, he grabbed my fantastic funbags and pressed them together. Hard to believe, but he actually squeezed the can right out of the crack. When it fell out, he caught it and walked away with a shit-eating grin. Gawd! I'd feel that grip for a long time. Bet!

Whatever! The show was far from over! Before I knew it, the third roughneck was standing in front of me. He was a baldhead with a fully tattooed torso and his manners were as coarse as his looks. Following his buddy's example, he took the can out of my hand and stuffed it right between my bomb-ass bangers. This time, though, I was emotionally prepared, so I didn't bat an eye. But that didn't last long! A second later, I scoffed in disbelief when he opened the can while it was still wedged in my cleavage. I giggled hysterically as he grabbed my fluffy fleshpillows and used my titty meat like a beer tap. Can you believe it? Squatting down, he pulled on my titty flesh to tip the can forward until the liquid leaked out and ran into his mouth. Oh gawd! The son of a bitch turned my glorious grabbags into a soda fountain! This was insane!

"You got any more drinks on tap?" The baldhead asked me as he took the energy drink.

Holy smokes! You won't believe it, but I almost said yes and got the biker bastards more drinks. Somehow, their rude-and-crude vibe appealed to me, making me act impulsively. Just in time, I managed to stop myself... although it wasn't really my idea! Instead, I cried out in surprise as the roughneck tipped the drink and spilled some liquid all over my pink top. Oh my god! The flimsy fabric became wet and see-through in an instant. My stiff nipples were more visible than ever. And yet, I didn't scold the biker boys. Their titgrips hadn't missed their effect. I was all horned up! And so, I thanked them profusely instead! How stupid!

At the end of the day, however, I wasn't here to have fun! There was a third group waiting. And so, I walked through the gym with a wet, see-through top and bought three new drinks. Guided by my dicktrance, I acted on autopilot, a state I knew all too well by now. The feeling of bliss wiped away all worries and my mind focused solely on cock. As my mouth watered and my pussy moistened, my desire took the steering wheel. Sorry, not sorry!

Consequently, I rushed to the functional training area. Stepping through the door, however, I froze! A shock ran through my limbs! The old men were gone. They had been replaced by another group of blue-collar boomers and I hadn't even noticed it. I guess I had been too busy to see people coming and going. So much for my dicktrance!

But that wasn't the reason for my shock! I was stunned out of my mind because I knew the men! They were my father's former colleagues. What a shocker! These men had worked with my dad in the machine factory. I actually knew them by name because my father hosted regular reunions. They had practically seen me grow up right in front of them. Fucking hell!

And with that, the danger had reached a whole new level! They'd recognize me! They'd tell my family! My parents would go ballistic! That would be the nail in the coffin for peace in my family! They'd never forgive me! Any second, the men would see me! The boomers' heads started turning. It was happening in slow motion. I wanted to run away, but I couldn't move! Instead, I watched as they focused their attention to the entrance.

And suddenly, I stared at a broad back! Someone had stepped in front of me. The person was tall and broad-shouldered, hiding me and blocking the factory workers' view. What unexpected luck! But then my luck ran out when I saw the person's face. It was Rey, my neighbor! Another shocker! But at least it made sense, because he was another former colleague. Apparently, he was here with his cronies.

No matter what, my cover was blown! Damn it all! But wait! Ray already knew my secret. And he hadn't told his boomer buddies yet. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? I couldn't tell, but I didn't get the time to think about it anyway.

"Hello Tia, so we meet again! I'd say you're lookin' for me if I ain't know better." My neighbor seemed in a good mood.

"Let's face it, Tia! You're playin' with fire!" He admonished me, albeit in a good-natured way. "I'm all for free expression, but this ain't no big city where you can do whatever the fuck you want n nobody gives a shit. This is a fuckin' small town."

"Believe me, I know that better than most." He told me, pointing at his sleeve tattoos. "That's why I'm givin' you leeway."

"These fellas, tho, they won't be so understandin'!" He nodded to his cronies. "Not to mention your dad!"

"OK! I know what it's like to rebel against your damn ole man. That's why I'm gonna help you out again." He assured me. "But it's the last time."

"For fuck's sake, you can't always count on somebody bailin' you out, Tia!" He spoke into my conscience. "You better watch out n take some responsibility!"

Oh wow! That was almost fatherly advice! He sounded more empathetic and understanding than my dad had ever been. That was real kind. Even kinder was the fact that he helped me out of this jam. I could barely hide my gratitude when he took the three energy drinks and did the advertising for me. Promise!

As luck would have it, I didn't have to meet my father's factory pals. Not today! And hopefully not ever! Nonetheless, I found it hard to believe that my neighbor had no ulterior motives. I wasn't used to the men in this town being so nice and friendly! But of course, I happily played along to pass my first exercise.

--- Gonzo gal becomes a special kind of workout warrior---

After I had successfully completed my task, I returned to my tough-ass trainer, beaming with joy. It felt like a victory parade, even if it didn't look like one! After all, my pink top was soaked and see-through while my nipples were poking through the transparent fabric. But whatever! You have to crack an egg to make an omelet. In the end, I emerged from this predicament stronger than ever. I had slayed the exercise! And so, I was all smiles and happy giggles!

For the second exercise, Chet led me to the women's corner. This was a special area that was off-limits to men and protected from prying eyes by privacy screens. As it was specifically geared towards the needs of women, it featured special equipment for yoga exercises.