To Ourselves

Even my Dad's disappointed tone couldn't pierce my reaction to her.

"I was fucking looking forward to this." I couldn't remember the last time he'd used the F word around me. It hadn't been much. "Listen, talk to her some."

"I will. I'll talk to her." I realized I was smiling, too. She got up and was approaching me before I was even off the phone with him.

As she walked over, her chest danced about in her t-shirt, with definite points prominent at the front.

I finished the call with Dad. "I'm sure everything will be fine." Everything would surely be fine, because this was all just for down here. That's what I told myself right then.

She was wrapping her arms around me as he spoke barely audible. "Bye."

"Thank you, sweetheart. Yeah, I just need some down time." She brought her lips straight to mine for what was, I'm sure, a sweet peck.

I absorbed it, and as she was backing from me, the adrenaline from the call, the heat from her look, and the rumblings fresh in mind from Machiavelli washed over me.

My hand raised to her cheek to hold her for my mouth to come to hers. Her eyes followed my lips as they approached and then closed as we kissed. The incomparable tenderness from her full lips meshed with mine, and blood surged into my cock.

My mouth savored hers, first with a soft kiss, then a longer-lasting, stronger kiss. My lips started prying hers open, and that's when she broke our lock.

Her eyes stared up at me wide and blinking, but it was her heavy breathing that thrilled me most. She had to gather herself.

In a breathy half-whisper, she backed from me. "I better get back to work."

Still emboldened, I couldn't help myself. "Are you sure?"

She squinted at me with surprise. Going back to her chair, and having regained her composure, she managed a jab back at me.

She said it with a shrug like she wasn't really sure. "I guess so."

I loved that.

Again feeling a momentum, I went around the dining table, taking only a couple of steps to get near where she had returned to her seat. My heart raced being like this with her.

"Jake." She looked up at me, her eyes open wide.

I grinned down at her and let the moment linger a few seconds.

She shifted in her chair, and her head moved to quickly glimpse my crotch at her eye level before her face came back up to mine.

Quietly she asked. "What are you doing?"

My hands went into her hair and brushed softly. Her head slightly moved and lowered with my hands. I brought my hands to her cheeks and cupped them.

The feel of her face in my hands and her head at my crotch sent a surge through me that made my cock thicken in my jeans. The silence between us led me to take a chance. I edged closer to her and now my hard cock in my jeans was just inches from her face.

I tried to think of whether to do more, when her hands raised tentatively up to my wrists. She gripped my hands there at her cheeks. I sensed I'd taken this far enough for now.

Still, as I backed away, it was her expression that burned into my memory.

Her eyes peered up at me excitedly, dancing and expectantly. Her lips were open, and her chest was lifting and lowering with her deep breaths. Her face said she didn't know what to do. It was unlike she had ever looked before.

I turned and walked away.

...

11.

My instinct was to go to my room, jump into bed, and take care of myself. I was rock hard. The moment had felt so damn hot. Had it been for her?

But I wanted to keep that feeling for tonight. And, I wanted her to as well. I avoided any contact with her the rest of the afternoon. A couple of times she headed towards the living room, and I left it.

She didn't try to appear there again, and I think she picked up on what I was doing.

The wild course of the day, together with how things had been changing for us these last couple of weeks, put me in a mood I had never before felt. Before I had let sex pull at me and draw me to it. But now, things felt somehow different. Really different.

Moving further and further with her had changed me. Now today, between dealing with my father, and then the strange exchange of energy between us in the dining room, there was a hunger in me and a drive I had never gotten to. I absolutely loved it.

Over and over in the afternoon, I thought about her look up at me. Her face had been so open, so alive. And, her mouth had stayed open and awed as she gazed up at me.

But there was one other thing. Something that turned over in my mind relentlessly. Yet one more thing that I sensed, but wasn't sure of. Only, this time, there was no question what I'd do with it---I was going to take it like I felt it in my gut.

That one thing had happened before her look up at me. As I held her face in my hands and stood directly before her. At that moment, she didn't move my hands.

She could have taken my hands from her face. She could have said something, anything. But really, I just took she wanted them away.

After more thought, and with that look from her, I changed my mind. I could've done more. I was certain.

At that point she had decided.

Throughout the afternoon, I went along on a buzz. I ordered take-out dinner for us, got us a bottle of red, and got a good run in.

A couple of times, I heard her back in the dining room. Her talk was so upbeat, and professional, working her glowing charm for her decorating accounts. Every time I heard her distinctive, light-hearted chuckle, it made me smile.

That jovial sound from her, together with the progression of things between us, got me reading online. A couple of times in the past, I had come close to some control dynamics with girlfriends, but had never gone anywhere with it. It had always made me curious, but I always pulled up short.

But with yesterday, I felt this vibe between us. There was always the chance I could be reading it wrong, but I really didn't think so. And if this blew-up in my face, then I would just immediately back off. I felt so very close with her now, I figured I could chance it.

So I tried to read up. Her wanting me to take care of things, and then this look up from her made me want to see how she'd respond.

Of course, the closer it came time for dinner, the more apprehensive I became. For all I knew, she wasn't even thinking like me about taking our back-and-forth to another level. That was the impression I had, but this was her.

By the time I was setting out our dinner, I was even second-guessing my different look for tonight. Nice jeans, black expensive shirt, and hair product to tame my thick hair. It was going to be obvious I was making an extra effort, but I had to let that go.

As I included the wine and the almond tiramisu with the entrees on the table, I heard the clicking of her heels coming from her bedroom. Her heels.

I was still grinning about her being in heels when she turned the corner. The sight of her stopped me in place. I swallowed hard.

Her tossed dark hair was gathered up. Exquisite make-up accented her lively eyes, and her full lips held a red gloss perfectly. Her black fitted dress showed a provocative V-neck that I had never seen her try. The cleavage bunched and went deep before going inside the black fabric.

She smiled. Her voice like velvet. "Hi."

I blinked and smiled awkwardly back. "Uh hi."

Snapping to, I went to the side of the table, and pulled a chair for her. Her head tilted appreciatively at my rare show of manners, and we both settled in for our dinners.

We both talked of being hungry and about Sal's consistently good food, but I found I didn't have much appetite for my veal. I just didn't. I actually had to fight to remain calm.

Some worry set in about her picking up on my nerves. This was way more than I could have ever anticipated. Then, I caught a sense of nervousness from her, too

As she answered my questions about the day's work, she gave nice, precise descriptions to me, while she also primped at her hair. To one of my silly takes, she let slip her quick, high-pitched laughter that came so naturally for her.

I only moved my food around. Enjoyed some wine. And really, just absorbed the presence of her.

Something about her style gave such a presence to her. Soft voice. Red-painted nails that matched her lips. I liked how she didn't avoid straight looks between us. The moments were arousing me intensely, and the fact she was so comfortable with me this way sent a warmth over me.

At the same time, I admired her confidence. This was such a bizarre and huge development for us---all of this was. Yet, she sat there next to me, and she went with it, too.

This dinner--and this night—was taking us away from what both of us had always known. We had left the comfortable place we had in each other's lives. Now we were wildly high above that past place. High enough to thrill, no doubt. But the past place was gone.

Sitting there, I knew I'd always remember this room and this meal. I expected she would, too. It would be that night when we'd been so to ourselves and so close that everything changed. My chest rose with my deep breaths for where we were.

This modest dining room, with its big windows looking out towards the beach, served as our special space where everything was changing for us. Between the darkness outside and the silent atmosphere inside, we could not have been more on our own.

Our eyes met a couple of times. I realized I was past the point of her being able to tell how drawn to her that I was. There was no doubt she knew. I only wanted to be as close as we could.

With a deep breath, I set my course. "I want to thank you."

"Thank me?" She gave a low giggle. "Thank me for what?"

"Everything you've taught me while we've been down here."

"I haven't taught you anything, Jake."

"You sure have."

Her face glanced about a little as she pondered this. Then came right back. "I don't think so."

"Before down here, I used to think about how much fun I could have with a woman."

"Ha!" She blurted. "I managed to get you to stop thinking of women as fun." She shuddered.

"No, no. It's not like that." I smiled with her, but shook my head. "Now, I know it isn't about how much fun I can have."

She eyed me skeptically still.

I continued. "I mean, it's still fun. Really fucking exciting, actually."

I let that hang out there. Was immediately glad I got coarse. I liked how she blushed a little. Raised her brow a second. I had gotten beyond her veneer with that. She liked that.

Yet again, much like her look up at me at lunch, I sensed I'd gotten to a new part of her, a different layer.

After a sip of wine, I kept going. "But, now I get that what it's really about is how good I can make it for someone else."

Her eyes narrowed, and she seemed to take a long breath.

I took my time trying to explain. "It's about taking care of who you love. Giving her what she needs."

A slight flinch moved her. Then she murmured. "You didn't learn that from me."

"I did. Our time here, when you've needed space, I've paid attention to that. When we've done things," her eyes fluttered as I kept going, "I've wanted to have it a certain way for you."

She sighed. "Hmm."

I took a chance. "And, tonight, with dinner, I loved trying to make this good for you."

"And you certainly have."

I smiled appreciatively. I cut a taste of the tiramisu, and held it aloft a second. Then, I brought to it to her mouth.

First, she braced, startled at the gesture. Then, her mouth opened, taking in the bite. As she pulled from it, her eyes burned into mine.

As she savored the sweetness, I kept wanting to provoke her.

"I wonder if you could get to a place where you could really let go. Where you're not taking care of work. Not taking care of anybody else. Where you are just leaving things to me."

Finishing the taste of our dessert, she sat a little back, her eyes staying on me.

A quick drink of her wine, before she spoke. "Just leaving things to you? Like... ."

"Like, closing the door, and leaving it to me to take care of you."

Her eyes widened, and I realized I'd probably laid this on too thickly. But I wasn't going to backtrack. I really wanted her to have that kind of break. That kind of surrender. And I sensed that she wanted that, too.

She leaned to the table again, this time her hands cradled her glass near her mouth. She tried to be gentle with her words.

"You know this is wrong, don't you? What you're suggesting we do? I mean, even if it is just once."

Her face tilted down some, though her eyes stayed with mine.

I wasn't going to ease up. "No. I don't know that it's wrong. It's what we both want."

Her face opened into this shocked stare again, just like at lunch. Her parted lips curled wanting to smile. They stopped just short.

Her voice lowered. "Well, you sure did a good job with dinner."

She took another drink of wine, and as she did, I felt adrift a second. I wanted this to happen so badly. But this could really end up bad. My eyes searched the room and the windows that held the black night beyond them. Might as well say to her I was concerned, I figured.

As I opened my mouth to speak, I glanced to her glass. Just a simple move. Checking to see if she needed more wine. And there, right in front of me, I couldn't believe my eyes.

Her hands still held the glass, and her left hand sat just lower on the glass than her right. That left hand didn't have a ring on it tonight.

My eyes went from her finger to her face, and her eyes stayed right back on mine a long moment. Then, they slowly closed as she took a breath. When they opened again, she drained what was left in the glass.

I rose from my seat. Came around to her side of the table and took her by the hand. She got up and put her napkin on her plate.

Leading her from the dining room, neither of us spoke. Even going through the living room, nothing was said. Her hand squeezed to mine as we entered the hall. We reached her bedroom door before she stopped us. She tugged at my hand getting me to turn and face her.

Staring up at me, she tensed. "I don't know."

I moved to her, and she raised her arms to go over my shoulders. I hugged her to me. Getting my mouth to her ear, I whispered distinctly.

"I don't know either."

Her body seemed to stop in place even as my hands rubbed her back and her sides. I was still caressing her when her soft response was at my ear.

"You don't either?"

My hands went lower on her back, and my mouth got into the crook of her neck. I softly kissed and pulled there at her delicate skin. Her head tilted to squeeze my face tighter to her.

A soft hum sounded from her with me making a trail of kisses lower onto her neck. Her torso relaxed in my arms, and my hands went downward. Skimming over the tight fabric of her dress, my hands passed her waist and rounded onto her ass. It felt so solid as I squeezed and then drew it to my crotch.

My bulge had already thickened and she had to feel that. Her shoulders fell back from my chest, but my hands didn't release her bottom from me. Her drift backward only gave me more room for her chest, and my mouth went there.

My kisses started down her chest right below her throat, and when they did she gave a moan. Her middle pressed into my crotch. My hardness planted firmly into where her dress covered her mound.

I could feel her hands run through my hair as my kisses reached her cleavage. Behind her, my hands got to the zipper of her dress. Soon as I started pulling it down, I felt her flinch in my arms.

Sliding the zipper down, my mouth brushed the tops of her breasts as the dress was falling away. A thin black bra appeared as I tugged the dress from her shoulders. Hard tips pointed in the cups of the bra.

As my hands drug the sides of her dress on downward, I could feel her hands leave over my shoulders to hurry to get between us. Quickly, I tried to anticipate what I'd do if her hands pushed at me to move me away.

My hands were pushing her dress on off her hips when her hands made it between us. The dress fell away free and must've pooled on the floor, and my hands clasped to her ass and the small black panties that remained. The feel of both her bare cheeks and the panties worked into a vee shot a shudder through me, knowing how close I was.

Her hands circled around to my front, but they didn't press my abdomen. There was a pat to my waist, and then the hands were on my belt. One sure hold there, and then a pull outward made me realize my belt was undone. Oh god.

I kicked at my shoes one at a time to get rid of them, and her releasing my belt and fly together with my kicks made me unsteady a second. I straightened in place. My cock throbbed.

My mouth went back to kissing her shoulders and chest again, as her hands finished getting my jeans undone. Her hands pushed my jeans from my hips, but then I guess they just left me. I didn't feel them at first, and my jeans just bunched at my waist.

I had brought my hands behind her back. Right at the narrow strap in the middle of her back, I grabbed and tried to unhook it. I desperately worried that this would end at any time. I fumbled with the hook and it wouldn't separate.

Glimpsing to her sides, I saw her hands had waited outstretched, like she was tentative. But my struggle with her bra strap sent them moving. Her hands jerked behind her back. My own hands felt hers clasp the bra strap, pull it away from her skin, and deftly unhook it.

I couldn't help but blurt out a breath at her move. My hands shot to her straps at her shoulders and peeled them right off. My face angled to get my face between her breasts, and when it did, I glimpsed the cups tumble off her chest.

There, right in front of my eyes, were her bared tits, wildly impressive. My vague sense had been that her nipples would be wide, but they actually were wide and sat more tilted up than I would have thought. There was a rounded, padded underlay that supported them pointing up that I would never have guessed.

Pointed hard atop each one was the wide dark nipple, and the swollen aureole I'd felt at the beach. From each puffed nipple there was the delicate tip that emerged tight and towards me.

Open-mouthed, I traced a moist line from high on her chest straight down. My hands cradled her low back and supported her up, getting her chest available to my mouth. Her hands dug back into my hair.

The smooth softness of her bare breast gave way to the tender ring of her nipple, and then her taut tip meshed with my tongue. All I wanted was to make this as pleasurable and loving as I possibly could, as it hit me she was probably damn sensitive.

Her hands held my head at her, as my mouth and tongue ever gently suckled her. Massaging and then lightly pulling, I wanted her sensations to fire straight to her core. As much of each breast I could work into my mouth I did. Gradually moving back and forth to each, I savored the distinct soft skin of her breast at my lips contrasted with the harder surface of her nipple rub at my tongue.

Tilting my head so I could glimpse up, I thrilled at the sight of her as well as the feel of her. With her chest arched to me, her shoulders fell back, and there higher was her face bent backward, angled up as if to face the ceiling. But she wasn't looking at the ceiling because her eyes were closed shut and her mouth hung open.

I kept tasting her chest, but one of my hands left her low back. Around to her front, I got my hand between us. As soon as it passed around her hip, I brought it to between her legs. My hand opened and reached, and there was space just under her crotch. Bringing my hand into contact there brought a cry from her.

Pulling my middle two fingers straight across her crotch from back to front told me her small, tight panties were already partly caught up into her slit. The swollen sides of her sex smeared my fingers with her, and she squealed as they slipped right through. My fingers were coated and now her arms wrapped me hard, holding my face tight to her chest.