All Comments on 'Together Ssn 03 Ch. 01 - Professional'

I was really getting into this. Thrilling:))

The story could have been so much more. I like the concept. But what you have given is more of a narration than a story. You dont describe anything. You just write what is happening. You never even tell us what Tina looks like... her body language... anything. Telling a good story is about painting a picture if you want people to be invested in it. This is more like a script than it is a story. When she say on the DI's desk you had a perfect opportunity to have him glance at her and notice how she looked, what she was wearing and her body language to give him the idea that she was coming onto him. I hope this helps as I do like your plot/ concept. Good luck.

This criticism is very valid. I like to keep as many specific details as vague as possible so the reader is more free to interpret with their mind's eye. I have made a few exceptions in other works to describe such detail where I felt it informed a character's style, but I tend towards allowing the reader agency to imagine based on their preferences. I will take this on board to include more detail in the future though.