Tomorrow is Promised Pt. 03

"Where is it?" she asked, stepping back and bouncing up and down in excitement.

"It's still at the dealer's," I said. "We'll go pick it up tomorrow."

The next day we went to Ron Miller's Used Cars, where I found a sweet 1990 Mercedes-Benz 300 SL convertible for Amy. I had traded Jon's 1989 Toyota Corolla DLX sedan for it since none of us felt comfortable driving his car because of the memories associated with it. The convertible was burgundy red with a white interior, and she loved it. I knew she expected some old used car, but I wanted something reliable for her. We finished the paperwork, and I let Amy drive it home behind me. Emily asked to ride with her, but I said no because she might distract Amy while driving. I promised her that once Amy was comfortable with driving it, she could ride in it with Amy.

Even though it was already clean, Amy and Emily spent hours washing, cleaning, and detailing it within an inch of its life. At Amy's insistence, after dinner, I let Amy drive Emily and me down to the beach, along Highland Ave to Rosecrans Ave to Sepulveda Blvd. and down to Manhattan Beach Blvd before heading home. I sat in the front with Amy while Emily sat in the back. I figured Amy would feel more comfortable and less distracted with me since we had done the same with my car while she was on her learner's permit. She did a great job and didn't once get flustered or distracted.

January 1994

The holiday season was over. It was time to get back to work. When I got into the office, I found out that Rick, the manager of the configuration management group, had decided that he was going to retire. His wife, Susan, was in poor health, and Rick wanted to have time to be with her and travel with her before she became too debilitated to do so. I hated to see Rick go because he was a great guy to work with. Rick had always been willing to roll up his sleeves and dive in to help with configuration management issues that would crop up. With this information already making this a less-than-exciting day, I headed to the first staff meeting of the new year.

While the configuration management group was separate from ours, it was an in-house application, so Steve was responsible for staffing all in-house software-related groups. Once all of us group leads reported on our activities, Steve tasked me to look for a new configuration manager in-house. I would work with HR to advertise the position in the in-house newsletter. I would then review the qualifications of anybody who applied for it. I would collect the ones I felt could do the job and send them to Steve for consideration. While I didn't relish the extra work, getting that position filled as soon as possible was essential before any of our software activities were impacted.

***

Today would have been Jon's 40th birthday. It was Saturday, so I had slept in, dreading facing the day. However, hiding in bed wouldn't get me through the day. I got up and went downstairs into the kitchen. The girls were already up and preparing my favorite breakfast; blueberry pancakes with scrambled eggs and bacon.

Amy finished the pancakes, plated them, and handed them to me, saying, "I love you, Mom."

I pulled her in for a hug and said, "I love you too, sweetie. Thank you for the pancakes. They look delicious."

Emily finished the scrambled eggs and bacon, plated them, and brought them to me, saying, "I love you, Mom."

I pulled her in for a hug and said, "I love you too, dear. Thank you for the eggs and bacon. They look delicious, too."

The girls sat down and ate their breakfast with me. By the time breakfast was finished, I had cheered up, thanks to the girls' bubbly attitudes. We cleaned up the kitchen together, and we were all laughing by the time we were done.

We all went and got showered and dressed. When we were done, we went to buy flowers and headed to the cemetery to put flowers on Jon's grave. The grass was grown in now, so we sat in front of Jon's headstone after setting up the flowers. We shared stories about Jon, focused on happy events. We each took turns saying, "Remember when ..." telling our story about Jon. The girls' memories showed how much he loved them and how much they loved him in return. By the time we were ready to go and get lunch, I thought how lucky we had been to have had Jon in our lives.

***

The scariest earthquake I'd endured since moving here eleven years ago occurred today. It topped the Joshua Tree earthquake that took place during the time of the Rodney King riots. It ended up being named the Northridge earthquake. It woke us all up out of a sound sleep, rattling everything. The earth seemed to bounce forever but only really lasted about 20 seconds. About a minute later, a strong aftershock got the girls to start crying. I huddled with them under the kitchen table for a while, hugging them and consoling them. After an hour or so, feeling a lot of little shakes but nothing significant, we figured it was okay to come out. Needless to say, we didn't get any more sleep that morning.

Luckily, we didn't lose power or have any significant damage. We ended up with a few minor cracks in the foundation and a few items that fell off the shelves. I called in sick to work, which a lot of other people did too. Since it was Monday, I kept the girls home from school. There could be significant aftershocks. I called my parents to make sure they were okay. They were, so that was a load off my mind. As it turned out, another strong aftershock in the afternoon caused us to huddle under the kitchen table again. Luckily, no further damage occurred.

Although the shaking had mostly stopped that night, the girls slept with me in my big bed. We did feel a couple of small shakes but nothing too worrisome. I fell asleep feeling comforted by the two girls with me. It felt good not sleeping in an empty bed for once.

March 1994

The swim season was over. As I surmised last fall, the girls held every swimming record for the school between them. Even the relay records had been shattered since they participated in every relay race. Amy had bettered every record she had already held, but Emily already beat Amy's best times in the freestyle races. Mira Costa won the conference championship, making them eligible for the state finals.

We spent a week in Sacramento attending the state finals and sightseeing when there were no meets to attend. Mira Costa placed third, and Amy won the 200-meter butterfly race, setting a new personal and school record. Emily placed third, also setting a new personal record. I was so proud of them, especially since they supported each other. When they hugged each other at the end of the race, my heart melted seeing how much they loved each other despite being so competitive. Amy also placed second in the 200-meter medley and the 100-meter butterfly races, while Emily placed third in the 100-meter freestyle race. Their trophy shelves were getting crowded with all of their medals and trophies. I was sure they would get athletic scholarships to attend college based on their abilities in the pool.

***

My friend Mary set me up with another date. I snarked at Mary that I was starting to think she had it in for me. She promised me that Jim was a nice guy. He was also a member of our church. I agreed to the date on the condition that she stopped being a matchmaker if this one didn't work out. Mary reluctantly agreed, which told me this might not be my Prince Charming.

As had happened before, the girls fussed over me, ensuring I wore sexy enough clothing. Amy helped me with my makeup, giving me dating tips the whole time as if she were the mother, and I, the nervous virgin daughter. It was so cute I couldn't get upset with her.

When Jim called on me, I introduced him to my two daughters. When I did, I got a feeling about him, especially when I saw how he was eyeing Amy. We left, and we both worked hard at it, but again, there was no spark. When he brought me home, I thanked him for the lovely evening but told him I didn't think I'd see him again. He seemed disappointed but didn't make a fuss. I knew I was going to have a talk with Mary the next time I saw her. Maybe I had been too hard on him, but my daughters came first. I wouldn't risk bringing someone into our home who could mess things up.

April 1994

So far, we haven't found anybody in-house to fill the configuration manager position still open after Rick's retirement. We had gotten several people applying for the job, but none of them were felt by management to be up to the task. I knew at least one person in the Configuration Management group had applied. However, that person, while knowledgeable, wasn't really management material. In frustration, I wrote a position paper presenting my argument that we needed to go outside the organization to get a new person as soon as possible. I was going to run my position paper by Steve before I took it to Mike Evers, the CTO. I called Steve's personal assistant, Eve, to get on his calendar. If I could convince Mike to obtain permission to advertise outside the company, he'd get HR to go ahead and do it. In the meantime, we'd just have to limp along with the team we have in place.

May 1994

I attended the Software Technology Conference (STC) this year, having missed it last year due to Jon's death. I first attended it in 1992 with Megan. I enjoyed going, even though I had spent most of the time operating our booth in the Exhibition Hall. I vowed to try to attend more of the presentations, meetings, and tutorials this time around.

It was Monday morning. I was heading to the Raytheon exhibitor booth. I would be sharing in the manning of the booth, answering questions for people interested in Raytheon's employment positions or products. We had spent all day Sunday setting up along with all of the other exhibitors.

Today we were going to finalize the schedule so we could staff the booth and go to the presentations we wanted to see. We managed to get permission to take a couple more people this year, so we could trade hours to attend events. I wanted to see a couple of tutorials today, if possible. As I walked across the exhibitor floor, I spied a tall, beautiful, fit blonde in a military uniform. When she turned to look my way, I saw her gray eyes. I felt that I knew this woman. As she turned away and I caught her profile, I suddenly realized I recognized this woman.

My heart went up to my throat as the memories from nearly twenty-one years ago came flooding back into my mind. As I approached the woman, I queried, "Alex, is that you?"

The blonde beauty turned and looked at me with questioning eyes. Then I saw recognition come over the woman's face as she asked, "Judy? Oh, my God, is it really you?"

I stepped up and hugged her, thrilled to have confirmed that I had found someone from my past. Alex hesitated at first but then must have decided it was okay and returned my hug, putting her arms around me. God, it felt good to feel her body against mine. More memories of that night when we had explored all aspects of Sapphic love together emerged.

I stepped back after reluctantly breaking the hug. I noted that Alex had also not been in a hurry to end the hug. We stood there for a few minutes, exchanging pleasantries before we headed to the food court, catching up on the intervening twenty-plus years while we walked. I told Alex I had married and had two teenage girls, Amy, 16, and Emily, 15. I told her that my husband, Jon, had died a little over a year ago in a car accident caused by a teenager in a stolen car. Alex commiserated with me on that, which I appreciated.

I was happy to learn that Alex had made a career out of the USAF after graduating from Tech. I was thrilled that she was a Major and on her way to Lieutenant Colonel someday.

Once we got food and drinks and sat at a table, I reached over with my right hand, took her left hand, and said, "Alex, I'm sorry for how I ended our relationship back in college. You had been so sweet to me, and I was in danger of falling hard for you. I wasn't ready for that, so I did the only thing I could think of ... walk away. I lied to you when I implied that I had only been doing it for fun, so you wouldn't chase after me. If you had, I probably would have changed my mind."

"You broke my heart, you know, by saying it had just been for fun," Alex said, squeezing my hand. "If you hadn't said that, I probably would have tried to talk you out of it. I got over you, but it didn't make my freshman year all that much fun."

"If it's any consolation, I was miserable for a while," I said, returning Alex's squeeze. "There were several times I almost gave in and tried to contact you but stopped myself at the last moment. However, I don't regret meeting and marrying Jon and having my two wonderful daughters. They are so precious to me. I don't know how I would have got through losing Jon if I hadn't had them to lean on."

As I sat there, I couldn't help but let my eyes wander over Alex. She was as beautiful as I remembered. The feelings I had buried all those years ago started to stir again. Since my brief affair with Alex, I had always eyed other women differently than I had before. Even though I had stayed faithful to Jon physically, I must confess that I had lusted after other women in my heart, especially Megan. Each time I had, my feelings toward those women were always directed to our lovemaking. I'm sure that each time my increased affection for him manifested that Jon must have wondered why. Still, I never did anything overtly that would make him suspicious.

I noticed that Alex was looking me over too. Before it got too intense or went too far, I said, "I did attend every home game, and I rooted for you all the time. Once I started dating Jon, I even dragged him to all the games. Jon became an avid volleyball fan and really got into cheering the team on. You really carried the team in our senior year. Jon kept saying how amazing you were, and each time he did, I secretly wished I could tell him how much that meant to me. We would never have won the conference title except for your incredible performance that last match."

I stopped as I relived that night. After the match, we returned to his place and made out like two minks in heat. Nine months later, Amy was born. I was convinced she had been conceived that night.

Alex got a questioning look on her face and asked, "Are you okay, Judy?"

"Oh," I said, shaking my head, "I was just thinking about that night. After the game, Jon and I celebrated the victory, and I'm convinced that Amy was conceived that night."

Alex's eyes went big when I said that. She then snarked, "Wow! I never thought I'd be responsible for an increase in the world's population due to my volleyball playing."

I smiled at that, squeezed her hand again, and said, "Well, you can feel proud that you're the reason a wonderful sweet girl has graced this world. In fact," I added, leaning in, "I had seriously considered naming her Alexis. We ended up naming her Amelia after Jon's maternal grandmother."

We chatted a bit longer before we finished since we had to get back to what we needed to do. We each had a room at the DoubleTree Hotel, so we arranged to meet in the lobby tonight at 6:30 PM and have dinner.

I spent the rest of the day in a daze. I had a lot to think about. Seeing Alex for the first time in nearly twenty-one years brought many old memories out of the dusty closet of my mind. Especially the memories of Sapphic love.

While I was raised catholic, my parents were free thinkers and didn't totally toe the line with all Catholic doctrines. Some people would call them 'Cafeteria Catholics.' So when I started getting curious about lesbian love, I didn't have a lot of hang-ups about it.

When Alex had literally run into me at that first volleyball practice, I felt something I wanted to pursue. So I flirted with her, feeling things I couldn't get enough of. The flirting led to a kiss that just blew my mind. Later, we went further, although I chickened out at the last minute. Luckily, Alex understood and gave me the space and time to think about it. Finally, we went all the way and had an incredible night of Sapphic sex. The emotions that were brought out from that experience rocked my world. It scared me, causing me to break it off and run away.

All of that introspection made me want to see Alex tonight even more. Once I finished my shift at the exhibition booth, I hurried back to the DoubleTree to get ready for dinner. We would meet in the lobby before walking next door to Ruth's Chris Steak House.

I hadn't really brought any dress clothes other than business suits. I had expected to spend all my time at the conference or related activities. I did have a nice pair of tight jeans and some pullover tops, so I laid them out to wear. I performed my toilet, ensuring I was freshly shaved in all the right places. Standing in the bathroom, I looked myself over in the mirror. I was excited about seeing Alex. My nipples were hard and pointed proudly out from my breasts. The blood-engorged outer lips of my pussy prominently stood out, my carefully trimmed pubic hair not hiding their redness.

I cupped my breasts, enjoying how firm they still were after all these years, with very little sagging. There were a couple of almost insignificant stretch marks from the times they swelled up with milk when I gave birth to my two girls. I hadn't nursed them, so my nipples weren't baby-chewed. I did have a couple of stretch marks in the creases where my legs meet my core, but again, they weren't prominent. I had made a concerted effort to treat my skin to reduce and eliminate any stretch marks that may have formed while I was pregnant. I was glad that I made an effort to care for my skin. I knew Jon appreciated it, especially when I wore bikinis to the beach or stripped for him in our bedroom. I hoped that Alex would like what she saw if I got a chance to show my body off to her.

When I finished with my introspection, I went out to the main room and started dressing. After putting on my outfit with flats, I brushed out my hair. I liked how it curled without any help. I double-checked my makeup before heading down to the lobby. I had begun to feel nervous, and I hoped I wouldn't sweat too much. I took the elevator down to the main floor and stepped out, walked past the main desk, and into the lobby.

My heart clenched when I saw Alex standing there in her jeans, button-down blouse, and flats, with her blond hair back in a low ponytail. She looked so beautiful. When she turned and her gray eyes locked with mine, my breath hitched, and I stopped dead in my tracks. After a short pause, we both started moving forward toward each other, meeting in the middle of the lobby. I knew I couldn't take her in my arms and kiss her because of her being in the Air Force, so when we came up to each other, I smiled, put out my hands and took both of her hands in mine, and said, "Hi Alex, I'm glad to see you."

I knew my eyes were telling her what I really wanted to say because I saw the same thing in her eyes.

"It's good to see you too, Judy," Alex said, a half-smile on her lips that sent shivers through my body. After a moment, Alex took her hands from mine, gestured toward the door, and said, "Shall we?"

We both turned toward the main entrance and as we stepped toward it, I felt Alex's right hand on the small of my back, sending another shiver through my body. Before anybody could see her intimate gesture, her hand left my back, and she held the door open for me, and we exited onto the street. It was a beautiful evening, and many pedestrians were on the sidewalk taking advantage of it.