Too Sweet Pt. 03

He looked so good. I wanted to take a picture. I committed the sight to my memory in hopes of being able to conjure it later when I found myself alone and in need of him.

"You're beautiful, Teddy," I sighed. "Absolutely the sexiest thing I've ever seen."

Teddy whined. Praising him was the quickest way to send him to subspace. I needed him present enough to move, though, so I had to back off.

"I need you to fuck me, good boy. Fuck me hard and make me cum," I purred at him. I pushed myself up and twisted as elegantly as I could to face the headboard. I gripped it where the rope was looped over, wrapping up the slack around my palms to make it so I couldn't pull my hands back. I arched my back and looked over my shoulder at Teddy. He was staring at me, gape mouthed and absolutely shaking.

"Like this, Teddy," I whispered. "Fuck me like you own me."

Teddy couldn't find words. I let it go. He was sinking deep and I loved the way his eyes glazed over as he moved like a diver, slow and languid, to line himself up behind me. He was going slow, just sweetly rubbing himself over me, teasing my opening and oh so gently pressing in.

"Slam it in, good boy. Do it now," I demanded. Teddy hesitated a second. I saw the doubt in his eyes fall prey to the lust. He did as I told, thrusting in his full length without stopping. I moaned and pressed back against him, trying to get every millimeter that I could.

"Hard, Teddy. Don't wait," I insisted. He pulled almost the full way out and slammed in again. The sound I made wasn't human. I heard Teddy growl in response.

"Fuck me hard and fill me up. Please, Teddy. Make me take it."

"Kit, I," he huffed behind me, still buried to the hilt inside and twitching wildly. "I need to hear green before I do that. I need to know you really want it."

"Green, querido. I want it so bad. I need you to own me. Please!"

"Please, what?" he growled. I felt my guts clench and a whiney moan escaped me.

"Please, sir. Hold me down and make me take it. Fuck me until I don't know my own name. Make me yours, sir, please!"

Teddy groaned behind me and wrapped one hand around my mouth and the other around my throat.

"Is this ok, diosa?" he murmured in my ear.

I whined in assent against his palm, begging for him to please, please just fuck me already. I saw his eyes soften for a moment. He was still afraid even as he throbbed and twitched inside me. He moved his hands off my mouth and neck with a doubtful look.

"Please, Teddy," I whispered. "I love you. I trust you. Please prove to me that you're always going to make me feel good. Show me I'm safe when I'm yours? Please?"

That did it. Teddy moaned and thrust hard. I gasped out that weird, feral sound that he loved and heard him growl behind me. Fuck yes.

I twisted to look back at him. His eyes were locked between us where he was disappearing into me in a complete daze. I watched his abs and the muscles in his thighs with a sense of wonder. How was that man mine?

I couldn't spend any more time in my adulation because Teddy's hands moved down to my clit.

"You're going to cum for me, diosa," he panted. It felt like a prayer as much as it did a promise. "Let me feel it. Let me feel you break for me. Grita mi nombre."

Who was I to deny him?

...

Teddy could play at these power games, but he wasn't really in the role that fit him best when I asked him to play dominant. He would never be a dom who could scare me. I liked that at one point in my life. It lost a lot of allure when those kinds of people tended to treat my boundaries like challenges and my emotions like irritating obstacles.

He held me after he got the ropes off, but I spent that time praising him and stroking his arms to bring him back from subspace. He blinked at me and smiled dreamily. My good boy, blissed out and wrapped around me. Perfection.

"Mi diosa," he murmured and pulled me in for a kiss. "Lo siento, soy tan malo con cuerdas."

"¿Cuerdas significa 'ropes'?" I asked.

"Yeah, sorry I'm so bad at ropes," he laughed and tilted my head back to look in my eyes. "I'll get better if you want me to. How was that? Are you ok?"

"I'm good, cutie," I reassured him. "So happy and so good."

"Good," he sighed happily. He closed his eyes and relaxed. I thought he had fallen asleep until he spoke up again.

"This may seem needy," Teddy started.

"¿Qué necesitas, querido?"

"Do you trust me? Like, um, do you feel safe when I'm in charge?" He wasn't looking at me. The question felt dangerously important.

"Teddy, look at me," I asked him quietly and sat up so I could see him. He looked up at me with real doubt in those dark blue eyes. "You are the only person I have ever known who I trust implicitly. I have never felt so happy, so loved, or so safe with anyone before. "

Teddy swallowed hard and looked away. I brought his face back to mine with my fingers under his chin. He looked near tears. I felt thorns tug at my heart looking at his vulnerability.

"What do you need? I'm obviously not getting the aftercare right here," I said and gently stroked his face. "You did such a good job, good boy. What do you need from me now? How can I bring you back?"

"I just, um," he didn't seem to have an answer. I took that as my cue to figure it the fuck out. I moved so I could put his head in my lap. He turned his face to my thighs and shuddered. I ran through what we had just done, trying to pinpoint what might have dropped him so hard.

"If that was too rough for you, we don't ever have to do it again," I said seriously. "I know you're not a sadist. You don't have to push through something if you feel like you're hurting me. I won't be upset if you safeword me no matter what role you're in, querido. I'm serious."

"I liked it," Teddy said quietly.

"That's ok," I answered. "You can like it. I liked it, too. But it's also ok if you don't like it."

"I don't want to like hurting you." His voice was muffled and so quiet I could barely hear him. "I'm not that guy."

"You didn't hurt me," I told him. "You did exactly what I asked for. I'm sorry I pushed you too hard, that was wrong of me. What do you need from me? How can I make you feel safe?"

"I'm not afraid of you," Teddy laughed dully. "You can't hurt me like I could hurt you."

"That's not what I mean," I corrected gently. "I should have listened when you were hesitant. That wasn't enthusiastic consent and I'm so, so sorry I did that. What do you need to trust that I won't do it again? A promise? Cuddles? Some space? An indefinite pause?"

"You liked it?" Teddy asked me. He looked up at me from my lap. I stroked his hair out of his face and nodded.

"I liked it a lot. You were amazing."

"I just, um," he closed his eyes and grimaced before he went on. "Someone hurt you before. Like, actually hurt you. I can't be that guy."

"Oh, Teddy," I finally understood. "You aren't that guy. You couldn't be. I don't think it's a story you really want to hear, but that guy wanted to break me. You'll never be that guy."

"But he tied you up like that, right?" Teddy pressed.

"Ah, no. Not really. That's what I asked for. What I got was a lot, um, different. You and him aren't the same, querido," I tried not to sound grim, but that was hard when I had to talk about Ethan.

"Oh," Teddy sat up and pulled me to his chest. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"Thank you, but this isn't about me right now," I tried to redirect the conversation. "What do you need? I've never seen you drop so hard."

"Tell me you feel safe and that I didn't hurt you," he said quietly. He had a hand in my hair and another spanning nearly the full width of my back. The hand in my hair slid down and circled my forearm. "You're so small," he whispered shakily.

"You didn't hurt me," I assured him again. "I have never felt safer in my life than I do with you. I'm not that small and I'm not teaching you Shibari. I think binding me is firmly in the no pile."

"Can we talk about it later?" he asked me softly, still measuring which of my body parts his hands could circle. My thighs were too thick for one hand to encompass. He could almost touch his fingers together with both hands on my waist. "I might feel differently about it when I'm thinking straight. Right now, I feel like I could break you without even trying."

"I'm pretty durable," I told him. I shivered as his fingers traced the lines of my ribs.

"Do you know how to tie me up?" Teddy murmured. "I could definitely be into that."

"Fuck," I giggled a little huskily. "You would look so pretty in my ropes."

"Maybe we do that for a while. I don't want to take it off the table entirely, but I don't think I can tie you up right now," Teddy said and pressed his lips to my neck. He spoke the next words into my skin, "I'll try again one day. You looked so beautiful begging for me like that."

"I'll beg for you whether you want to tie me up or not," I answered. I gently tangled my fingers in his curls to tug just a little. He chuckled against me. "But you let me know, querido."

...

Teddy

Ira and Foster were on the Xbox in the living room when I got home the next evening. They both glanced up at me, Ira arched an eyebrow.

"Thought you hated Kit's apartment?" he asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, well, I love her and she wanted to go there. I can sacrifice having a real kitchen and a shower I can actually fit inside for a night," he told him.

I sat on the chair and watched them play for a while. It was good to see Foster home at a reasonable hour. He had been packing in the late hours at his office lately.

"I'm going to propose to her," I said in the space between their matches. Ira looked up at me in surprise. Foster just chuckled.

"Yeah, I figured," Foz said, still laughing and not looking away from the screen.

"I thought you weren't into marriage?" Ira said. He realized too late that Foster had started their next round and shouted at him in dismay.

"I never said that," I argued.

"You dumped Mike because he proposed," Ira pointed out.

"I dumped Mike because he was an asshole," I scoffed. "He didn't really want to marry me. He just wanted me to fuck him a few more times."

"Hm, gross," Foster snickered.

"You think she'll say yes?" Ira asked carefully. "She seems a little, um, hesitant about most things."

"She kind of already said yes," I told him. "Help me pick a ring?"

"Yeah. We should bring Ben. He knows her better than I do," Ira suggested.

"You think he'll keep his mouth shut?" I laughed. I loved Ben, but that man could talk.

"Yeah, we'll get Foz to threaten him," Ira said and elbowed Foster in the ribs. Foz snorted derisively.

"So you're moving out?" Foster asked.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said and winced. I hadn't thought that far ahead. The thought of leaving the home we shared for nearly a decade hurt more than I thought it would.

"You're always welcome here, man," Foz said. "We'll miss you, but we're happy for you. Kit's great."

...

Ring shopping with three guys was apparently a weird thing to do. The workers could tell that Ira was gay. He just read that way no matter what. They were squinting at Ben and me, trying to decide where we landed. Most people assumed I was straight. Ben was a toss up.

"So the ring is for...?" one saleswoman asked me and trailed off, glancing at Ben and then Ira.

"My girlfriend," I answered.

"Oh, and these are your friends?"

"My brother and my friend. Is it really that weird for men to come in here?" I asked pointedly. She blinked and smiled apologetically. Ira snickered beside me and ignored a cold look from Ben.

"We have a selection of bridal jewelry here," she indicated a case full of diamonds. I looked over the glittering rocks doubtfully.

"Probably not a diamond," Ben suggested. "And maybe not something so flashy. She only wears black and ripped up jeans."

"We have black diamonds," the saleswoman said and expertly directed to a different case.

"Diamonds come in black?" I asked.

"Apparently," Ira chuckled.

...

Kit

Teddy seemed upset when he stopped at the coffee shop later that week. He accepted the raspberry mocha I gave him with a distracted smile and leaned on the counter.

"¿Estás bien?" I asked him.

"My mom called me," he said. He was staring down at the floor, his jaws tense and his free hand clenched. "She's not supposed to have my phone number."

I caught Ben's eyes and signaled that I was taking a break. He took one look at Teddy and motioned for me to go. I took Teddy outside to the patio.

"Ok, tell me what happened," I said carefully. "Who gave her your number?"

"I don't know," he growled and leaned back in the chair with his hands on the back of his head. "I don't think anyone close to me would do that. There's a fucking reason she doesn't have it."

I paused at that. Teddy didn't swear in normal conversation. He especially didn't swear on a public patio in the middle of the day.

"I know, querido," I said softly. Teddy's eyes widened a little and he glanced around guiltily. The only other person outside with us was that lanky punk kid who always smelled like spray paint. He had his head buried in a notebook and didn't seem to have noticed he wasn't alone.

"I blocked her," he said, softening his voice a bit. "And I should just let it go, but now she has my number. She can get a different phone and call any time. I just, um, I need to be ready before I can deal with her."

"We can get you a new number?" I suggested. "Or we can trade phones until you figure out how to handle this? I don't answer phone calls anyway."

Teddy stopped moving to blink at me in surprise. "You would just give me your phone like that?"

"Sure," I unlocked it and turned off the lock screen entirely before I slid it across the table. "Add whatever contacts you need from yours."

Teddy picked up my phone cautiously, still staring at me like I had suggested we could flap our arms and fly away.

"You ok, querido?" I pressed gently.

"My last partner would have chewed her own leg off before she gave me access to her phone " he said quietly.

"Oh! I mean, I have some embarrassing selfies and an unhinged number of screenshots on there, but there's nothing you can't see."

Teddy entered a few contacts in my phone from his, then unlocked his like I had done and handed it to me. He looked through my contacts with a strange look on his face.

"Half of these are some variation of 'do not answer'," he said with a weird little laugh.

"Oooh, yeah, don't answer if any of those call," I said with a laugh. "And if Cloud Chasing Motherfucker texts, don't respond or he'll send a dick pic. It doesn't matter what you say. That's all he wants. Yves Saint Laurent might text a bunch of mushy apologies in the middle of the night. Ignore it. She'll change her mind when the sun comes up."

"Jesus Christ," Teddy muttered. "Maybe you need a new number."

"Nah, I just don't answer anything. It's fine," I shrugged.

"Who is Danger Danger Danger?" Teddy asked. "There are like thirty missed calls from whoever that is just this month."

I tried not to react too strongly. Danger Danger Danger was Ethan. He did, indeed, call me fairly often. I never answered and he didn't leave messages. Teddy caught the change in my mood and leaned forward to fix me with a worried look.

"Kit? Who is that?"

"That is someone who hurt me. As you can see, I don't answer his calls," I told him.

"Bondage guy?" Teddy asked quietly. I nodded. "You didn't block him?"

"I blocked him a few times. He always got a new number and called from that. I accidentally answered those new number calls too many times, so I stopped blocking him. Now he's just another missed call among dozens," I explained. It worked out fine. I just had to be careful not to answer any unknown numbers.

Teddy tapped my phone and held it up to his ear. My heart dropped when I realized what he was doing. I lowered my eyes to my clenched fists and waited. Ethan couldn't hurt Teddy. Surely he couldn't. The fear that he might still made my blood run cold.

...

Teddy

"Kit, baby, about time you called back. You owe me for making me chase you. What will you do to make it up to me?" The voice on the other line sounded pleased and oily. It set my teeth on edge.

"Hey, fucker," I snarled. "You gotta stop calling this number. She's not interested."

"Who the fuck are you?" That smooth, oily tone was gone. Now he just sounded angry.

"The guy who just told you to leave Kit alone," I answered.

"Ah, shit," the man on the other end started laughing, "did she convince you she needs protection from the big bad dom?"

"Nah, she handles her own problems. I'm just overprotective."

"She's nuts, man. You're sticking your dick in crazy," he warned me. "She'll turn on you."

"Not calling you for advice. Lose this number," I snapped.

"Got it. You're marking your territory. Tell Kit to call me if she ever figures out how to be a decent sub."

The guy hung up. I looked across the table to see Kit staring at her hands. Her breath was coming in quick pants from her nose and her eyes were wide with fear.

"Kit? Hey, you ok?" I reached for her hand. She flinched before she looked up and relaxed slightly. "I'm sorry. I probably just way overstepped."

"No. I'm trying to convince myself that Ethan can't hurt you," she said quietly.

"Ethan, huh? No, Ethan can't hurt me. He might back off you now, too," I said gently. "Dicks like that sometimes need to hear it from another man before they'll respect a no."

"You don't have to do that," she said. Her eyes dropped back to the table. "Ethan is dangerous. You don't have to take that risk for me."

"Kit, diosa, I'll be fine," I reassured her. "He's just some coward who hurt someone who trusted him. I'm not worried."

"He's big," she whispered.

"Bigger than me?" I asked. She looked up at me again appraisingly and slowly shook her head.

"Probably not. He's a giant in my mind, but that's probably because he always made sure I felt helpless and small around him."

I hated this guy more with every shaky sentence and flinch from Kit. Apparently, she did have something besides fight in her fight or flight and it was devastating to see.

"You want me and Foz to go talk to him?" I suggested. Kit adamantly shook her head.

"No, please no," she said shakily. "I couldn't forgive myself if he hurt you."

"Does he know where you live?" I asked her carefully. She shook her head.

"Believe it or not, I was actually pretty careful about who I took to my apartment before I met you," she said and actually chuckled a little. "I got stupid over you. Lucky me, though. I hit the jackpot." She shook herself and focused back on me. "This wasn't supposed to be about me."

"Ah, yeah," I had distracted myself playing white knight for Kit, but my problem was still on the board. "If my mom calls, you don't have to talk to her. Just hang up."

"I don't answer phone calls, remember?" Kit reminded me. "I'm the perfect protection from a call you don't want to get."

"Thank you," I said sincerely "I'm still pretty blown away that you just handed over your phone."

"Um, you did the same thing, you sweet himbo," Kit giggled and rolled her eyes. "Are you worried about what I'll see on there?"

"No. I mean, the house group chat is a little embarrassing, but there's nothing you can't see," I answered. It was, though. Lots of dumb memes and a truly ridiculous amount of video game shit talking.

"Do you see why maybe you shouldn't be shocked that I don't care either?" she pressed. "Maybe this is how you should have been treated all along?"