All Comments on 'Trained Ep. 01'

by Verano

Sort by:
  • 8 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I’m sorry to say that the story is very laboured and jumpy. I assume English is not your first language.

greenman440greenman440over 4 years ago
Ok I.ll give it more time

though the basic premise seems strange. Since the guys thought they were on a "be a gentleman" training course why would Clint suddendly decide he'll go off with a leather clad dominatrix wanting a fulltime sub? You've also portrayed Sam as a pretty spineless wimp so far, a relationship of relative mental equals would be a better start point to lead into a power exchange relationship imo.

I do like loving femdom stories which you claim to be writing, so as said I'll see how you develop it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Slow

Slow start, building tension, hopefully more substance to follow. May I politely suggest that you use the services of an editor. There are quite a number of grammatical errors & typos. It makes the story judder somewhat rather than flow. I'm not sure if English is your first language but please ask someone to check your work before publishing. Regards.

LI KerwellLI Kerwellover 5 years ago
Great first chapter

I like the angle. I like where it’s going.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Good slow start

Nice build up. Already hot.

Tigr2Tigr2almost 6 years ago
More Background

A bit more background on the players, male and female, would be helpful.

On that same note, what about the author? Every answer was no answer!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Characters

Needed better descriptions of the players and what makes them hot.

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
userVerano@Verano
I write BDSM ranging from cuddly to NSFR (Not Safe For Reality)

READ MORE OF THIS SERIES

Trained Series Info