All Comments on 'Trapped, Trained and Twisted Pt. 06'

He’s in a sex club where there are bouncers who watch for rapists.

Also, by walking out with her fully naked, he would have earned a black mark and the hosts would be paying very close attention to his actions and ensuring his partner was fully consenting.

I know this because I attend one and what you described would have resulted in the police being called and them seeing the video surveillance along with the license plate of her abuser.

If you’re going to write a story, make it real or don’t do it at all.

Regardless of everyone’s expectations of your story, I enjoyed it. I like when people write stories the way they see fit for themselves. You never know what the next chapter holds until you read it and that’s what I love the most is the suspense of the story. This was a good chapter and I can’t wait for the next chapter to see what punishments will be handed to “The Cunt” for her disloyal activity and actions in the club.

So the 'master' punishes his sub for *his* lack of a spine? Not much of a master is he.

I won’t give you a bf rating, but you missed the point of a sub Dom relationship.

Firstly the sub wouldn’t disrespect her master by going off with someone, her master didn’t approve.

Secondly the other Dom no matter how jealous he was would still respect the mother master enough not touch his property without permission.

Finally being at a sex club, the hosts and the bouncers would have prevented this from happening.

There is a fine line between consensual play, and abuse. If you really wanted to explore the darker side of the dynamic then you could have done it in a different way. For example the Dom could have got carried away on his power trip, showing off for the group and simply went to far. Or what would be more realistic abuse, is have the Dom give permission to the wrong person to use his cunt, and have it turn out badly, for both of them.

I fear you story missed the mark on this story as now the Dom character has lost credibility. Sorry

Lots to unpack here and since I am a writer, I may be a bit long about it so bear with me.

1. Neither I nor any of the other authors here are getting paid for our work and I assure you it is many hours of work, nor did you pay anything to access it so every single person who reads a story on this or any other site owes us authors who created these works a basic level of respect. Please ensure that the tone of your comments reflect that, especially when hiding behind the safety of an Anonymous posting. I welcome comments and discussion and honestly, I love getting into things and explaining the thought process.

I would also remind you that not only does a story not have to be made real as it is fiction, but that if it were real this would be a horror story that no one including myself should want to read in any erotic fashion. So you'd prefer that my story be 100% accurate all the time or I needn't bother writing at all? How about instead I propose that my stories will always have some holes in them either on purpose to serve as a mechanical device or by accident because I'm human or perhaps I've got an explanation in my mind when I wrote it and you failed to pick up on the clues. If you can't be respectful and you're not capable of picking up on things, maybe you should stop reading my stories altogether? I'd rather have that than an anonymous troll who dings my stories with a 1 star rating rather than just walking away from them.

2. Now let's unpack your confusion because you did raise valid points most of which I did consider when writing and I did put in little things to mitigate them. I've been to plenty of bdsm parties and fetish friendly clubs so I had a bit of a mental picture in mind from those experiences and as a female, I've paid particular attention to safety. So let's get to it.

a. Yes, he would have gotten a black mark, though since a 2nd visit wasn't addressed in this episode it's irrelevant. Further, given his experience, I'd argue that going back would be like complaining to the manager of a restaurant about the food poisoning that your meal gave you and him banning you. It's not like you were going to go back anyway. I suppose its possible that the person at the front could have gotten help from a DM or others who threw on some clothes and ran out into the parking lot, but there was no point in describing such a scenario because the story is told from Cunt's perspective and from her view, the car would have driven off before she saw anyone chasing after which means maybe it happened after all, perhaps it didn't. Doesn't matter. We know what she knows.

b. You have a lot of faith in video surveillance. Maybe there was a camera in the parking lot at the entrance, maybe not. I did describe that he parked in a remote dark corner of the lot and that the night air was filled with mist, so I think I did a pretty good job of explaining why that issue wouldn't make sense. Let's pay attention to the details next time. Whether or not there were cameras inside who knows? They weren't described so you're making assumptions. Should there be? Probably. Were they high res full color with audio? I dunno. If you want to go down that road have at it. I've been to clubs that had security camera systems and parties at warehouses that didn't.

c. You're absolutely right that there's a dungeon Master(s) who are there to ensure that everything is SSC (safe, sane and consensual) and most people keep an eye on things as well. But let's look at what we really know. We're in a fairly large space, probably a warehouse type structure. It's loud, crowded, lots going on and people are distracted. I think I described all of that as being the case. The conversation between our sexual assaulter and our kidnapper and the victim of both probably wouldn't have been overheard by anyone, especially since I think I made it clear that one one else was directly near them (call it social distancing if you want). While someone paying attention definitely should have seen that something was going on, it all happened pretty fast in a room that had a lot going on, so it would have been easy to miss. So who is going to report it? Not the assaulter. Not Cunt and definitely not her abductor I also described that the assaulter went into a private room with our victim where no one could see or hear what was going on. Remember, the Cunt didn't fight back or really even show outward signs that she wasn't consenting and in fact, if anyone had overheard the interaction between her and the assaulter it would have appeared to have been some sort of a consensual RP.

I'm not suggesting that these are perfect explanations, but they're the ones I had in my head when I wrote it. Under the right circumstances, all of these factors could come into play and make such an assault easy to miss in an otherwise consensual environment. I would remind you though that your experience with one club isn't necessarily indicative of all experiences at all clubs and parties. Try to read with an open mind next time and thanks for your comment, I do appreciate it and I hope my explanations help with some of your issues with the story.

the dialogue was kinda akward cause people dont talk like that but it was still nice I like the way you write most of the time

very good

I just need to adress this “I fear you story missed the mark on this story as now the Dom character has lost credibility“ dude, are you for real? The guy LITERALLY KIDNAPPED her and brainwashed her so I dont think he bad a credibility from the start cause from the beggining it was not consensual

Great comments everyone so thank you SO much for taking the time to share your thoughts with me.

Terrific catch that he's not only not much of a Master but he's not a Master at all At best he's a wannabe who has been watching way too much bdsm porn like what he feeds Cunt for her edging sessions and he thinks that's reality. This is not a sub dom relationship nor is it consensual in any sense of the word. Let's not lose sight of the fact that she was kidnapped, tortured and brainwashed by a heinous psychopath kidnapper. So all the rules you would apply to an SSC Master/sub relationship don't apply here. What I really liked about what we're seeing is a noncon relationship juxtaposed against the SSC environment of mainstream bdsm activities.

Of course this is a man who of course is going to blame others for his choices including being spineless. That's part of why we're at a point in which he has committed this atrocity. Responsible well adjusted people don't as a rule kidnap and torture and enslave people.

So for example, you might say well someone should have stepped in when the assaulter grabbed her leash, but remember she didn't resist or show signs of distress. Further suppose someone had come over and asked her if everything is okay, what would she say? I would argue that she'd probably say she was fine thus ending any concern. Both because her captor would encourage such an answer to avoid negative attention and because there's an inherent flaw in her training. Sure she'll do anything her Master commands but further, she'll do anything that anyone commands. She's broken. This isn't a love story nor is it an SSC relationship despite the setting.

I knew that scene with the assaulter would be challenging and it's possible I could have put in even more to show why people didn't step in or why doing so wouldn't have changed anything, so I apologize to all of you for not being clearer in that area and thank you for bringing your feelings about it to my attention. I think 10 spanks should earn your forgiveness right?

So I think I addressed everything so far. If anyone else has any thoughts to share or areas to discuss, throw it out here and we'll make it all better! Thank you again everyone!!

Do people need it spelling out? The whole thing is a perfect car crash in motion, fantasy meets reality for the "master". I loved the contrast between the club patrons and the cunt. I loved the fact that the patron who stole cunt off the master had a bigger cock and made her gag, and that master was such a micropenis he never needed to throat train her. Beautiful touch 😘

I can't wait to see how this ends, but I have faith now that it will be satisfyingly sticky for everyone. X

KristinKailey, you are indeed correct the normal Dom/sub Rules do not apply as she was indeed kidnapped and brainwashed, he is just a wanna be, so he wouldn’t know how to react or protect the cunt from advances of others that wasn’t for his own gain. That also justifies him running away like he did and bundling her into the car naked, as he would have wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, before he was found out of how he “trained” the cunt.

Being the narcissist that he is, he would totally blame the cunt for what happened and not himself so i am looking forward to reading your next chapter on how he now deals with the situation, and the fall out punishment for what he believes was betrayal from his cunt.

Sorry I forced you to explain everything and I promise my story is almost ready to be published for you to critique back. I give your story 4 stars.

My thinking is that this young women may be broken beyond repair. I doubt she could survive on her own without a master if she were to get away from this asshat. When he took her into a public venue, or as public as a BDSM club could be, I hoped someone would recognize her distress and raise a concern. I was hoping that even when dickhead was assaulting her she would try to at least signal that she had been kidnapped. Hopefully in hind sight someone who was there connects the dots and tries to do something. At this point I doubt she could save herself even if she wanted too and that is sad. Her future looks bleak. Well written as always even if very dark and twisted.

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Cheers

i love all of your erotic literotica with c nts words most enjoyable exciting stories,thank you.

This story is quite wrong. The entire setup is so that the slave gets praise and please and feels good about herself. With the rest of characters serving no other purpose but to please, and yes, serve the slave.

This is indeed what roleplaying women desire, and what they image a "D/s" relationship is. Which is "d/S".

need to get rid of all the "little body" and similar references to how tiny she is. We get it, she's small, let's move on

I think that men (maybe women, too) like this assaulter, who harass and threaten weaker men (or people in general) for being weaker and not acting the way they consider to be right and normal and cool, who call them "losers" for not being strong and successful, are indeed one main reason why such crazy kidnapper monsters do even exist. Many humiliations by stronger people (which most often occur in schools), especially combined with constant rejections by girls, build up and feed the need to overcome that horrible life and low position and self-esteem by gaining power over someone. And someone who gets just rejection and being hated and laughed over by the society will not consider to follow its rules and respect the feelings of other people. Such persons lose any empathy but I don't believe all of them are born this way, most are made into such monsters. I ain't a native speaker of English, therefore something in my comment might sound strange or difficult to understand. Greetings, Marc