All Comments on 'Travel Teaser'

by Vetman

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starovastarovaalmost 12 years ago
Editing.

Watching your partner affecting other people like this is very exciting, particularly when you know others might be fantasizing, but you are the one fucking her, most likely that same day.

But I think his story would have read better if it started at the fifth paragraph.

Careful editing can improve the final draft.

Keep up the good work.

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