All Comments on 'Trent Ch. 01: The Ring'

Chapter 2 and more.

Simplify your writing, make it more conversational. Don't use words you don't know (detriment, not determent). Learn how to use apostrophes - noises, not noise's, porn star's, not porn stars. Roommate is one word. How does Trent know the ring is pure gold? You should find an editor to review your work before you post it.