All Comments on 'Triple Fun for the Triplets'

Got a little more than halfway before giving up. Very verbose, very boring.

As another commenter said... verbose and not in an interesting way. Look at his selection...

-----Some evenings like many families on vacation with their young adult kids, the parents would do one thing, while the kids would find other things to do together around Surfers Paradise. There were of course plenty of things for the family to do as a group in daylight as well.

All ten members of the Dennis family went to the Q1 Tower observation deck on a sunny day, admiring the panoramic views of the Gold Coast that stretched to the tall buildings in Brisbane in the North, the Hinterland in the West, the lighthouse at Byron Bay in the South and miles out to sea in the East. On the Sunday morning of the first weekend they all went to the markets at Carrara and had breakfast, before the girls went to the film set.----

What's the point of it? are you writing an vaguely erotic story or are you filling up space with minutiae? None of the above contributes to either plot or character, so none of it matters to the story. ''There were of course plenty of things for the family to do as a group in daylight as well.'' Seriously? There were of course other countries in the world, other shops in the city, other people on the planet. These are truisms irrelevant to readers.

Waaaaaaay too many characters too quickly for me - especially for how long this piece is (or short rather). I didn’t feel like I had any sense of who these characters were except if they had panties or penises. The idea of telling the story from the outside person’s POV vs those who are starting the relationship is a unique and cool idea…but there wasn’t any time left to it :(

there is no reason to spend time reading this ... two pages was enough of the endless synchronicity diatribe