All Comments on 'Trust'

Loved the idea of this and the door being left open for more. My only critique is everything happened really quickly. There wasn't much build up.

Remember show, don’t tell. You never gave a description of Dana or her outfit. As a reader, that vagueness makes it harder to get immersed in the story.

Not nitpicking, but the following sentences could be depicted in a rather ominous way:

Blood trickled down between them. He began thrusting faster with her increasing wetness.

Good first effort. Keep it up. Submitting on here is a brave thing to do, and I look forward to your future works :)

It was a good premise, but the act itself was rushed and could have used more description. As could the characters. I know some authors like to keep descriptions purposely vague, but that's actually a detriment. Until her pants were being pulled off I didn't know she was wearing any.

I liked it otherwise :)

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I’m honestly surprised this even got approved lol like I was fully prepared to go back and fix it.

But I’m actually just gonna leave it alone and take it as a lesson to try a little harder with the second chapter :) Thanks for the critiques!!