TSS 3: Knight's Son Ch. 05

Even after over two years, she could still entice him with ease. He knew from talking with the other men in the village that none of their wives had a sexual appetite as big as hers, and many of them were jealous of how often his wife wanted to mate. Of course, his own drive matched hers, as he was always ready to go when she was.

A short time later, sweating and no longer cold, he lay next to her. Venita's hair spread across his chest as she listened to his thundering heartbeat. He cursed himself for giving in so easily but also knew he couldn't resist her. She was everything he could ever hope for and so much more.

Except he couldn't get her pregnant.

"You're doing it again," she chided him. "I'm sure the Lord has a plan for us." There was that tone again, but he couldn't argue with her words.

"I have faith," he told her. "I also hear the muttered words of the other villagers. They say that you're cursed, and I hate that. The priest commented on it during last week's sermon."

"He did?" Venita asked, lifting her head to look at him with wide eyes. "You didn't tell me that."

"You were sick," he reminded her. "I didn't want to worry you, and when the priest spoke, I didn't immediately think of you. Karcher was the one who pointed it out, after."

"What did the priest say?" Venita asked, her fingers drawing circles on his broad chest.

"He talked about how those who followed the devil's path would be cursed in this life," he told her, trying to recall the sermon. "That even if their labors bore fruit, they would be as barren as Lucifer's promises."

"And what else did Karcher say?" Venita pressed, her tone growing concerned.

"He didn't get much of a chance," Ardin sighed, slipping his arms around his wife and trying to offer comfort. "His wife called for him to help with their newborn. He's already given his wife two children since they married, and I can't even give you one."

"I wish you'd quit saying stuff like that," she lightly bit his chest in warning, though her arms held him just as tight. "How do you know the priest isn't right and that I'm not cursed?"

"Because you're perfect in every way," he answered without having to think. "It has to be me that is the problem."

They lay in silence for a time before her soft voice spoke again. "There is a way to verify."

"No." Ardin shut the conversation down with that single word. He didn't want to discuss this again.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but there's precedence in the holy scriptures," she pressed, despite his desire to avoid the topic. He pushed her away, trying to end the conversation, but she refused to drop it. "Rachel gave her servant to Jacob so that they may have children. And afterward, Leah did the same for him so that they may have more children."

He felt her hand on his arm, urging Ardin to turn and face her. He knew if he did, though, he'd fall back under the spell of her beauty and remained facing the hearth. "Your argument is flawed," he growled. "We don't have any servants, and Jacob married two sisters. Those sisters were competing with each other, more than trying to follow God's plan. And I have not been found worthy enough by the priests to have another wife. Nor do I want one when I have you."

"Ardin, please, look at me," she pleaded, but if she would ignore his desire to not have this conversation, then he would ignore her wishes. "I don't want to share you, but I am not enough for you despite what you say. You want children, and I can't give that to you. Maybe I am cursed."

He felt her fall back to the bed behind him. Her words and tone tore at his heart, but he remained firm. He didn't want another woman. Not just because he was wholly devoted to Venita, but it wouldn't be fair to any other woman. No one was even close to attractive to him. No one held his heart the way Venita did, and he didn't think another woman ever could. Even if he convinced the priests to allow him to marry another, she would always be second to Venita. What kind of a life would that be for her? To compound the issue, he struggled to feed and care for just the two of them during the worst of the cold season. Babies didn't need much, and once the kid was old enough, they could help. Venita didn't need help sewing clothes or caring for their tiny home. He didn't need another wife, nor did he think he could care for one.

He was confident that the problem lay with him, anyway. Despite his best efforts, there were times when his mind or heart questioned the priests' words. He couldn't read and had wondered if the priests were accurately presenting what the holy scriptures read or if they were interpreting it for their own benefit. More than once, when a different priest arrived to deliver a sermon, they would contradict or alter what another priest had said. He understood that they were only human, but they were also supposed to represent God's words and will. Such questions often led him down dark paths, and he only found salvation in praying.

Closing his eyes, Ardin offered up a prayer, asking that he be forgiven his wicked thoughts, and allowing him to get his wife pregnant. He would face any challenge and follow any path the Lord wished for him, but he wanted to have children to carry on his legacy.

"Ardin?" Venita's voice reached into his thoughts, but he ignored her. Over and over again, he prayed for forgiveness and to give him this one boon. He would do anything to have a child with his wife.

"Ardin, I think...."

He prayed, and as the sun crested the horizon, he finally turned and faced his wife. Tears streamed from her red-rimmed eyes. He could see that while he'd prayed for forgiveness and clarity, she'd wept for his failings. He loved her with every bit of his soul and knew that she wanted for his happiness. Venita was willing to share him, to give him what she thought was her failing. She thought it was her, but he knew that deep down, the inability to sire a child with her rested on his shoulders.

He prepared to offer her his love and ask for forgiveness once again for his shortcomings when she spoke first.

"I'm sorry for what I tried to push onto you, my beloved husband," her voice came out cracked from her sobbing but managed to convey a firm conviction. "I'll not speak of it again. Not because I don't wish for us to conceive, but I received a feeling that if we try one more time tonight--" her eyes shot to the sunlight streaming in, and she amended what she said. "One more time today, that we will be blessed with a child."

Despite the emotional turmoil of the night, her words still managed to arouse him. Warmth filled his chest as he nodded, knowing her words were correct. His prayers would be answered. He just needed to have faith.