All Comments on 'Turned Tables Pt. 01'

For the douche end note. One star, anyway for your writing being like, ass.

I.like a.little.payback.Are they going to let Cheryl and Ken in on the payback?

Did you say you drove a truck?

good start

This was very, very rushed. I think I said the words "Well, that escalated quickly" 4 times while reading this. start over, and slow the fuck down. You're going from plot point to plot point so fast that the characters' actions don't make any sense.

I like payback as well, violent payback is best. wish we could get violent on anonymous

You know I don't care for revenge fucks but I'd like to see where this is going. Please continue...

no rating yet

I suppose you couldn't give your character an average Dick size cuz it wouldn't be very appealing to the other woman huh? Oh well . . .nice start anyway, keep it up!

You put a ‘go read something else’ warning at the END of the story?

I mean, sure be a douche about it but don’t be a stupid one.

(I kinda enjoyed it until the whining at the end)

Are you kidding? Revenge fucks and hate fucks are great fucks!

When your truck hit the bridge abutment?

Sorry, I think most high school kids can write better. The little rant at the end gets you a reduction from two stars to one.

Over the top weird and not grounded but still very fun to read.

especially when they work out with the ones cheated on, TK U MLJ LV NV

You should slow down a little, letting us the reader get to know the two that were wronged, instead they just went staight to sex. You didn't even describe what room they were in, if it was on a bed or standing up. You don't need a LOT of detail, but a few well placed descriptions can go a long way to paint the picture for us.

Thanls for sharing.

Revenge fucks have to be about as good as cheating fucks, don't you think? Seems that one just leads to the other. Then comes the hate. No cheating, no revenge needed.

Only if you sink to the level of the cheaters.

He’s a bad as the stories where the wife gets even by screwing someone else, then husband divorces her. She’s considered the cold blooded one for cheating cause she planned it to hurt him. This is exactly what he’s doing in this story. No high road here.

First of all, the criticism from Rnebular was on point. Do that.

Second, was your story trite/derivative? Sure.

Third, where does he work? I want a job there.

Finally, did your story make me laugh/smile? Yup.

Listen to constructive criticism. Anyone referencing your IQ, your hygiene or your strange fondness for barnyard animals (what, just me?) **Thats a joke, btw**

Keep writing. It’s a skill that improves with use.

Make Chap 2 better.

their spouses cheated.

their marriages are dead.

the idea that the victims would be cheating is silly.

them having sex is a formality. why bother feeling guilty towards serial cheaters that don't love nor take vows seriously. they'd only punish themselves. so i'm glad they went at it. just a little less hammy. but maybe wait to show their cheating spouses the video AFTER the divorce. that'd be smart.

I'm glad you write for fun but try to add some flesh to your characters. As it stands this is just a fuck story with little to entice readers back for part 2.

This is really good. Waiting for chapter 2

Fun for the survivors ... yeehaa

Surprised you didn't get a complaint about the IR fucking. Four stars

Hilarious, can't wait for part 2!

Remember this phrase: "All's fair in love and war". Well guess what, kiddies. His bitch wife and her bastard husband betrayed their spouses love, and WAR has been declared. FUCK THE HIGH ROAD.

Really a total cartoon, and I just don't care much for cartoons.

But thanks for the effort.

You're just in a hurry and dropping some words here and there. Maybe take your time on the revenge too. This story just felt rushed.

I really enjoyed your story! Can't wait for the next part. Wish I could crank my out so fast.

jneric2691

Should have finished part 2 before doing the other stories that were posted after part 1!

I like this story line, but I agree that it seemed way to rushed. Please slow down and add some more detail. This could be a great story if you give more information and details. This seemed more like a stroke story then anything else. I've read other stories from you and I know you can do better, Just expand on the story line and build up the characters back stories, explain what he does, if his wife works, how or where his wife and he lover met. It's okay for him to question her motives, but leave the pity party behind. Work on the revenge and you can make this a BTB&B. Most of all have fun and help us enjoy reading the story as much as to did writing it. I gave it 5 stars because I could see the potential and think this could go from an okay start to a great story.

does need a second chapter

Unbelievable really too over the top to be enjoyable

...is your story and as the creator of it, you have the right and power to take it anywhere you go.

I’ve often wondered what it would have been like to “get together” with the wife of my wife’s lover. We never met, didn’t share attourneys, didn’t get personal revenge by fucking and getting pregnant. I did what I could....sold the house “as-is” on a “fire sale” for $30,000 under its market value while they were in Aspen. Aspen! He took her to Aspen to spend a week “redefining the business model”....from the bed in their suite.

She had been slowly draining accounts for months, so I closed and “liberated” all of the remainder, removed stuff I wanted, my tools and a few prized possessions, took the kids and left New Hampshire for New Mexico. I had her served upon her return. I had him and his company served in the airport for breach of his own employee ethics policies....so she knew it was coming. I had her served for adultery and with prejudice at her parents home, including the photos I took from the hotel mezzanine during the company New Years Eve party. No, they weren’t having sex....but they were necking and groping like highschool kids exploring each other for the first time....her hand inside his zipper and his up her dress and in her blouse. I filed and sued in abstentia by making my attourney my trustee and also suing for felony theft from the estate. It wasn’t huge, but the family trust held everything we owned and had accumulated for 14 years. I was the previous trustee and so had the power to assign.

I won, by the way.

I didn’t have to pay Separate Maintenance or child support. While living a fugitive life for nearly a year, I had the kids. I got them tested. Two were mine, one was not...but I had raised her and was in every other way her father. She didn’t want to go back to her “mean mommy”. The boys were good with the arrangement, although Allen, my younger some, had some difficulty letting go of his mom.

Within 220 days it was all over. No more burner phones and carefully rehearsed stories... we all had new identities and a new home. I had useful, if less profitable work (that would improve in time) and was taking it one day at a time.

I don’t really know much about my ex wife’s life after we left. Why should I care in the least? I have not, as yet started dating. No. Really, most women are as loath to take on a ready-made family as most men. Why waste the time, money and effort fighting the odds? There is a feminine interest, however. She has two beautiful kids, one of each gender, just between my three.

Her husband served two tours in un-named locations in the Middle East. He suffers from PTSD and has been declared unfit as a father and husband. Apparently, there had been some pretty harsh things said and done at home, but what got him committed was his attack on a customer at his workplace.

It’s been very hard on them all. But we have a casual....family-level friendship.

But I hope we can get together. She’s my kind of beautiful and smarter than I (still, I’m pretty darn smart!), but still somewhat bruised by events last year....as we were escaping and going through the divorce.

I haven’t wasted space telling about how bad it got in our lives before I saw and heard the death knell of our marriage....but then my response to the abuses the disparagement, the lies, the cheating, the open disdain....might have gone nuclear. I chose something more subtle... but in the end, far more damaging. And I’m doing alright.

Thank you. Please finish your story and please let them live happily and wildly (in bed) ever after....

Keep'em coming, CDT60. I've loved all your stories!

Authors have the powers of gods to make every wish come true but life is not that way dude!

This is more inter-racial than LW.

So I assume that if chapter 2 follows the arc Joe will buy a multi-million dollar lottery ticket and gather multiple Victoria Secrets models in his harem. Oh well we all dream. But I read for characters, drama and emotions. I enjoy erotic scenes but dude people have sex for about 5% of waking life. You gotta have more to form a relationship.

Does your mom limit your computer time so you don’t have time to write an entire story with plot, drama, characters and emotions?

Too much too quickly.

Silly dialogue and actions by two people who just found out they were being cheated on.

You need to get things in the correct order. Btb first, then the sex between non cheaters can begin.

"You do! I'm yours, I belong to you now. Fuck my asshole husband. He's never going to have this pussy again." - Why isn't enough to cheat; she has to shgut off her husband, too? If she "belongs" to Ken, get a divorce and marry him!

"Now if I divorce her, she gets half that money!" - She doesn't know about the money, cash out the account and hide it somewhere.

"Quick as a wink, she pulled forward, spun around and took his cock in her mouth." - Ass to mouth? Eww!

Editing was awful.

TEN THOUSAND dollar bonus? If he makes the kind of money to make a bonus like that make ANY sense, he doesn't need to work a second job to save up for a trip to Hawaii!

That was hilarious

Would make a great series if you followed them further.

except he was so full of shit his eyes must of been brown! $10,000 bonus and he worked in a nightclub but his wife doesn't know and what really made me laugh is he just happened to have the Hawaii brochure on him to show his new angel.

The concept is great but I think you may have rushed it? I liked the story, everything happened so fast that at first I thought I’d clicked on a Humour/ Satire story. You clearly have the imagination for this maybe you just need to relax into it by adding more details?

Tess (uk)

Good start. Hilarious, really enjoying it

It was ridiculous. Best I can come up with.

Gonzo s**t, but absolutely spot-on perfect! It's like Hunter S. Thompson meets Al Goldstein!!! 5/5!!!!!

KAPOW!!! 💥💥💥💥💥

Hilarious! BUt I don't want to cheat! Pretty funny. I'm not sure but once the wife cheats the vows are broken and hubby is a free man as is the cheated on wife...........................

Premise of story is good. I think you could flesh out the story to make it more memorable. Your dialogue needs some refining. But I enjoyed the story.

Too quick. But good fantasy anyway

Good beginning!

4

Funny story but too much unrealistic and really dislikable characters.

I had to downgrade this story to 3stars. I had a hard time with his recording. Not in the room, so how did he get the camera on the shelf, then remove it without them seeing him? Initially, Joe & Amanda doesn't want to do anything physical/ sexual, which would mean them being as bad as their spouses. 10 minutes later, they're having oral sex leading to full sex. WHAT?!?!

Although you write this's for fun (wonderful!), try to have some realism/ believability to the story. As written, there's little except for Joe catching his wife in bed.

Well at least it was a giant white cock this time.

What's the matter with this country and its sick obsession with blaques?