All Comments on 'Two Perspectives'

You could have skipped that whole giant expository dump at the beginning and started with this:

"Linda was married when we started seeing each other."

That he's heterosexual, a former cop and that people call him Tony could easily be worked into the story.

There's hardly any dialogue, but then I saw why. No one speaks of anything but explicit sex acts, and what there is of dialogue is stilted and unbelievable.

If you've published books, I assume you had an editor because your punctuation is very poor, there are a lot of missing words and other various mistakes.

You are correct, my previous work did benefit from an editor and publisher. While I proofread this story, I was not about to hire an editor for something posted for free. I will, however, go over the next one a little more closely. I suspect some of the content may be viewed as unnecessary, but I thought some context might make it more interesting. I suspect I am writing these (I have a couple more I plan to put on this site) as a way of re-living some good times that are starting to feel increasingly part of another lifetime for me... and for my ex.

Bloody loved it. More please. Loved her recollection of eating ass...more of that too?

I have two more pending that should be good reading for anyone who liked my first story.