Undaunted

"I thought," Jamie finally began with a shaky breath. "That I was only trying to be fair to you. I thought that I was only trying to keep you from getting dragged into my own personal mess—and that's true. That's part of it. But, if I'm honest with myself, it's also that I'm just scared."

Jamie's eyes were imploring, begging to be understood as they stared into mine.

"I'm scared that things are changing," she continued. "I'm scared because I don't know if it means things between us are going to be better, or if everything is just about to go downhill from here. I'm scared that I might be making just another mistake, or that one day you'll think that you've made a mistake. I'm scared to give too much of myself because I'm scared that I'll end up losing myself again—but I find that all that isn't as scary as the thought of losing you."

There it was again, that sudden hope that sprang in my chest as she spoke. But after the emotional back-and-forth that Jamie had put me through in the last 48 hours, I was a little wary of trusting the feeling.

"What are you saying?" I asked her.

"I'm saying that I'm in love with you, too." Jamie replied, her smile tentative, as if she didn't know what her words would do. "I have been for a good while now, I was just too scared to admit it and let you know."

"And now you're not scared anymore?" I hedged, wanting to be sure that I wasn't just imagining things as Jamie took a tiny step closer.

"Are you kidding me? I'm fucking terrified!" Jamie said with a soft little laugh, but she was quite serious when she added, "But I'm not going to let it stop me from being happy anymore. I love you, Shaie."

I couldn't help but smile then. I hadn't known just how much I wanted Jamie to say she loved me until that very second and, now that she had, I was suddenly beside myself.

I breathed deeply, fighting the unexpected lump of emotion at the back of my throat as I pulled Jamie in for a deep and gentle kiss that left us both weak-kneed and clutching each other for support by the time our lips parted.

"I love you, too." I told her, my heartbeat still racing as Jamie and I smiled at each other.

We stayed just like that for a couple of beats, and then we both turned our heads back to the view before us as we stood on that balcony with our bare arms touching.

"What does this mean?" I finally asked her in the continuing silence. "I mean, what happens now?"

"I have no fucking clue," Jamie laughed softly. And then she sobered a bit as she shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to find out."

The sigh that I let out then was as shaky as her own, but the fingers that Jamie slowly laced with mine as she took my hand in hers told me that we would be discovering this new, uncertain path together.

And that was more than enough for me.

-END-

*** They say write what you want to read, and that was all that I had set out to do from the moment I first started writing about Jamie and Shaie. Thanks to those of you who have read and followed these two characters on their journey! Your responses had been nothing short of awesome and were, at times, exactly the push I needed to keep writing.***