Where The Heart Is

Note: This story has a romantic plot and quite some build-up before the sex so, head's up. Please feel free to leave comments and feedback. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy this one. Happy holidays!

*****

One

It wasn't unusual to find me inside the city library from time to time. I had always found comfort in the busy silence of a roomful of strangers, and it didn't really matter whether I found a book I'd like to take home or not. Sometimes, just slowly going through the stacks, as I was doing now, was enough.

But a book did pique my interest this time and I took it off the shelf for a closer inspection. I watched as the others in its row started softly falling backwards like dominoes, revealing a sight that I definitely did not expect to see.

Rachel.

She had her back turned towards me on the other side of the shelves, but there was no mistaking that tall, waifish frame—nor that long, straight, light-pink-black-tipped hair. I had seen Rachel from every angle and through every hair color in the past year or so, and I would know it was her even from a mile away.

My heartbeat began to race as my usual fight-or-flight response at the sight of her took over me, leaving me frozen in place. What was she doing here?

I had no time to keep wondering, however, because Rachel suddenly turned. I took a quick step back, but I was a nano-second too late and Rachel's cerulean eyes met my own green ones before she disappeared from view.

Shit, I thought.

I closed my eyes, leaning my head gently on the shelf behind me as I took a deep breath. I might have somehow managed to keep my crush on Rachel a secret, but I was pretty sure that the cat's out of the bag, now that she had caught me staring at her through a stack of library books like a creep.

I closed my eyes tighter, racking my brains for a quick excuse before I let myself walk out there and face Rachel. In the end, I settled for the truth. It was an accident. I didn't know she would be here. Surely, Rachel wouldn't think that I was actually stalking her... would she?

I took another deep breath and lightly pushed myself off against the shelf as I finally opened my eyes—only to find Rachel already there, standing right in front me.

I couldn't speak, she looked so goddamned beautiful. She had her head slightly tilted to the side, her eyes growing a tiny shade darker as she met my gaze. I caught my breath, unable to move as Rachel placed a deliberate hand on the shelf next to my left shoulder and gave me a slow, sexy smile.

This was it, my mind screamed. Rachel was going to kiss me!

I lifted my face up a little in nervous anticipation as Rachel started to lean in, my eyes dropping to her mouth when her lips quietly parted.

"Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock," Rachel said suddenly, her voice a deeply—and strangely—melodic male baritone.

"Huh?" It was all I could ask in my confusion.

"Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time." Rachel replied.

She was definitely singing now—which was perplexing enough—but she also sounded very much like an old-timey singer, and it was effectively killing the mood.

I shook my head slowly as I covered my ears against Rachel's mismatched masculine tone and the music that seemed to accompany her singing, and distinctly felt the soft fabric of my pillowcase rubbing against my cheek...

*****

"Noooo," I groaned into my pillow, finally coming to the full realization that it had all been a dream.

I tried squeezing my eyes shut, but it was no use. I was awake now, and the beautiful image of Rachel smiling and leaning over me was gone. The unmistakable sound of Jingle Bell Rock playing remained, however, continuing to float in the air as it permeated through my bedroom door.

"What the hell?" I frowned.

I flipped onto my back, immediately regretting the swift action as last night's hangover began to steadily pound into my head. There was no getting back to sleep now anyway—at least, not while that damned Christmas music was still blasting.

I had no problem with Christmas. Really.

I might not be the type to get all hyped up about it, but I wasn't opposed to a little holiday cheer during the season—even welcomed it, sometimes. I just didn't expect to be aggressively confronted by it inside my own apartment at...

I turned my head, my hands reaching for my phone on my bedside table. I pressed a button and watched the time flash on the screen.

9:53 AM, Saturday.

Okay, so it wasn't as early in the morning as I had initially thought and, granted, we were already five days into December, but still. It was bad enough that I was bound to hear that crap everywhere I went for the rest of the month—the loft had no business sounding like the inside of Santa's busy workshop. Ever.

I groaned again, kicking my feet out of my blanket as I sat up. I forced myself to get out of bed, noting with some pride that I had at least managed to put on my jammies, even in my inebriated state the night before. I wiped the sleep off my eyes, stretching lazily as I stepped out of my bedroom—and bumped right into a floating cardboard box full of Christmas ornaments.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you?" A feminine voice came from behind the offending box, showing me that there was, in fact, a person attached to it.

She had been coming out of the room directly across from mine when we had bumped into each other, and she had reflexively adjusted her hold on the box to keep it from falling. Its contents partly obscured her face now from my view, but it didn't really take much for me to figure out that this must be Thea—the newest addition to the loft.

Although she had moved in earlier in the middle of the week, I had not actually had the chance to see or meet Thea until now. I hadn't been there when Chris and Rachel had interviewed her, so pretty much all I knew of her was that she was a 26-year-old Filipina, in healthcare and here on a working visa for the past 8 months...

And—now that I had met her—that she was apparently the reason why my wonderfully rare Rachel dream had been interrupted.

Strike one, I thought, frowning as I stepped back a little to take her in.

Thea was roughly about my height (5'4"), lightly tanned, and slender—though not at all frail-looking. She had dark, straight hair pulled up in a high ponytail, and deep, brown eyes that were undeniably smiling as she gazed back at me.

"Chris said it was okay, but don't worry," she continued, lowering the box a little to reveal her full grin. Her eyes briefly drifted downwards, but she quickly brought them back up as a slight flush of embarrassment slowly spread across her cheeks. "I'll tone the music down."

"Thea!" Chris' deep tone interrupted from somewhere inside the loft before I could even say anything. "These are just too good!"

"So good!" I heard Rachel's voice agree after him, and I froze for about a fraction of a second at the sound of it.

I began smoothing the top of my shoulder-length, dark blonde hair with my hand, aware of its tendency to stick up in the morning. I took a breath, satisfied that I at least looked presentable now, and turned to leave the hallway, nervously excited as usual to see Rachel.

"Wait!" Thea said before I could take a step. I felt the cardboard once again lightly—but very firmly—bump against my arm and turned back to look incredulously at the dark-haired newbie.

Did she really just try to get my attention by hitting me with a box?

"Sorry, sorry!" Thea breathed, her blush deepening a little before she cleared her throat. "I just thought... you might wanna..."

"What?" I demanded a little impatiently when her voice simply trailed off.

Thea didn't speak, her eyes dropping pointedly towards my torso instead. I frowned, following her gaze only to find that I had horribly mismatched the buttons on my pajama top, leaving a few very noticeable gaps. It was my turn to blush then, mortified at the amount of my skin that was peeking through—including quite a telling view of the swell of my left breast.

I clutched the gap close, quickly glancing back up at Thea and catching the very amused glint in her eyes as she looked back at me.

Strike two. I scowled, right before quickly turning and heading to the bathroom at the other end of the hall so I could properly fix myself up before facing the girl of my dreams.

*****

Two

My mood was a bit better by the time I had emerged into the loft's living area, having washed my face, brushed my teeth, and made sure that my clothes were in order. My head still pounded, though not as intensely as it did when I had just woken up, but persistently enough that I couldn't just ignore it.

I looked over at the living room and saw the newbie crouched on the floor in a pair of jean shorts and a light, oversized shirt. She had her back turned towards me, busily in the middle of putting one of those synthetic Christmas trees together. It seemed pretty huge, judging from the way it towered over her in her kneeling position when it was pretty clear that she was only about halfway through the job.

She was humming along to a Christmas tune as she worked and, although the music was now considerably lower, it immediately reminded me of my interrupted dream. I frowned and headed towards to my right where both Chris and Rachel were huddled over the kitchen counter.

They both looked up as I approached but I focused my eyes on Chris, who had smiled and turned towards my direction. It always hit me hard just how beautiful Rachel was, and I was always apprehensive that I might give myself away if I ever tried to meet her gaze.

"Remind me again why we need a fourth?" I grumbled as I leaned over on the other side of the marbled top, facing them.

"Okay," Chris grinned at me, his hazel eyes gleaming as he easily answered. "Because this is a four-bedroom loft and we could all use the help in paying the rent. Good morning, Liv!"

His unusual perkiness grated on my ears, making the throbbing in my head more pronounced, and I dropped my head on my forearms as I groaned.

Chris was right though. Rent for a loft this size in the city was pretty steep and the three of us—mid-twenties, barely a couple of years out of college, and with level-entry jobs—could definitely use the extra cash that a fourth roommate could help us keep in our pockets.

I had been best friends with Chris since freshman year at college, with him being one of the first people I had come out to, and we had decided to rent the loft together after graduation. We had met Rachel a few months later, when she had answered our ad for a third roommate just a little more than a year ago—in which, I had wasted no time developing a major crush on her.

It had always been just the three of us since then, and it was possible that I was a little uneasy about adding a stranger into our familiar mix.

"Well, did anyone tell her that we don't do Christmas around here?" I mumbled into my forearms, not bothering to look up.

"Only because we're too lazy to put up a tree." Chris quipped, looking at me as I peeked up at him. "And how about showing a little holiday spirit? You're too young to be a Scrooge."

"I like her," Rachel said, bringing my eyes to her soft features. She sounded both pensive and amused as she stared past my shoulders into the living room. "And I like the tree, too. Makes this place feel more... home-y."

"Try this," Chris told me, pushing the plate he and Rachel had been sharing towards me. "Thea can put up any tree she wants, so long as she keeps these coming, as far as I'm concerned."

I looked at the fluffy, yellow, ham-and-cheese omelet on the plate and felt the bile rise up to my throat—another side-effect of last night's drinking. I pushed the plate away, but Chris saw something behind me that had him standing up before I could speak.

"I think that's my cue to help out," he said, stepping out from behind the kitchen counter and my eyes followed him all the way into the living room.

I couldn't help but grin when I saw that Thea had finally finished putting the tree together, and was now trying to move it to a far end corner near the windows. It was almost comical to watch the slim and diminutive woman try to lug the 8-foot contraption around all on her own, and damned if she didn't try to veer it away from Chris' hands and refused his offer to help at first.

I chuckled lightly, glancing to my right as I leaned back against the kitchen counter for a better view, but my eyes fell and stopped on Rachel once again. She was smiling and resting her chin against the back of her hand, but what caught my attention was the soft, downright wistful look that entered her light blue eyes as she gazed at the scene before us.

Wait. What exactly did Rachel mean when she said that she liked Thea? Did she mean she liked Thea as a person in the general sense of the word, or did she actually like liked our new roommate?

Honestly, I had no idea what Rachel's sexual orientation was. It had never come up in our conversations. Not that the two of us conversed that much, unless I had Chris as a buffer. For some reason, I always became hyper-aware of my tendency to stick my foot in my mouth whenever I was alone with Rachel, and would try to minimize the risk by uttering as few words as possible before finding some excuse to bail.

Granted, I had only seen her date guys in the time that we had known each other, but there had been moments when Rachel did or said things that gave me hope that she might at least be open to dating women, too.

Moments like this.

Strike three.

I was back to scowling as I narrowed my gaze on Thea. She and Chris were making their way towards the kitchen, having gotten the tree where Thea wanted it. I pushed myself off the counter and moved to get myself a glass of water, not particularly looking forward to engaging with the new girl at the moment.

"I'll just decorate it later," I heard Thea say when they reached the kitchen area. "I need to get going soon. This kid that I'm tutoring has a paper due, and it's probably going to take us till late afternoon."

"I thought you're a nurse?" I couldn't help but ask at the inconsistency, glancing their way as I took a sip of my water.

Thea's eyes fell on me for a brief moment, a flicker of amusement entering those brown orbs as she smiled.

"Actually, I'm a physical therapist," Thea said, addressing everyone, although it seemed both Rachel and Chris already knew that. I looked away, a bit chagrined over my quick assumption as Thea continued. "But I tutor a couple of kids on weekends 'cause, well, I could use the extra."

"Don't we all," I heard Rachel agree and I turned away, unable to keep myself from frowning.

"Oh, by the way," Chris said belatedly. "Thea, this is Liv. Liv, Thea."

"We ran into each other at the hall earlier," Thea told him, grinning at me. I acknowledged her with a curt nod, not appreciating the reminder at all.

I drank the rest of my water quickly and excused myself as the three of them continued to make small talk. I couldn't deny the tiny bit of jealousy I felt at the way Rachel seemed to respond to the new girl, nor the stab of envy I felt over the way Thea seemed able to draw people in with her easy smile.

I wasn't going to stick around the room just for more of that.

*****

I was still feeling sluggish by 7 PM that night, so I decided to go for a run to try and sweat it out. It was cold outside, but I had my warmers on and sweating my hangover off actually did the trick. I arrived back at the loft a couple of hours later in high spirits, although still mentally swearing that I would never do tequila shots again.

I wasn't really expecting anyone to be in the loft when I got back. Chris was probably out and Rachel worked on Saturday nights, so I wasn't surprised that no one else was there... well, no one except Thea. She was sitting on the living room floor with her profile turned towards me and a bunch of Christmas ornaments laid out in front of her, with some already hanging on the tree.

She had her headset on and was speaking to someone on the phone in what I thought safe to assume was. In any case, Thea was oblivious to my presence at the moment, which gave me the perfect opportunity to covertly size her up.

She was clearly bad at decorating, I noted with some satisfaction, seeing the parts of the tree she had already dressed up. It looked like a five-year-old had worked on it, the placement of the ornaments more chaotic than deliberate which... okay, it was actually kind of cute, the more that I looked at it. Somehow, it reminded me of Christmas back when I was a kid.

Rachel was right. Having a Christmas tree did make the place more home-y, and I was pretty sure that she would like the way it had been decorated, too. The thought was quick to put a damper on my mood.

What could Rachel possibly see in her? I frowned, my eyes narrowing as it drifted from the tree, back to Thea.

Okay, so she was pretty, I guess. Thea maybe slender, but she also seemed toned and not in the least bit dainty. I couldn't tell much of her figure from what she was wearing, but what I could outline seemed nicely proportioned, and her light tan glowed deeply against the soft yellow of her shirt.

Her straight, dark hair was long and now flowed silkily past her shoulders. She had a button nose that I guessed other people might find adorable, and the same easy smile that I had seen on her full lips earlier. But it was her eyes that were actually striking—almond-shaped with a bit of an upwards slant, and a deep brown that seemed to twinkle even from where I was standing.

Fine, then. She's kind of hot, I grudgingly admitted. But so what?

I didn't think I was too shabby myself. Blonde-haired, green-eyed, with a small upturned nose, and thin lips—I actually clean up very nicely, when I want to. I was more athletic than slender, with a figure that I sometimes work hard on by running. My smiles were a little more wry, however, unlike Miss-Chill-and-Breezy in the living room, but I had had no problems winning the ladies over with it.

Well, except maybe one particular lady.

I sighed, knowing it wasn't a good thing to start comparing myself to another woman. Like I said, I didn't even know if Rachel liked women too. And even if she did, it didn't automatically mean that she would be attracted to Thea.

I turned towards the hall, deciding that a warm bath would serve me well at the moment. But a flash of movement caught my eye and I glanced back to see Thea up on her toes as she tried to place an ornament near the top of the tree.

I turned away quickly and continued on my course, shaking my head as I mentally groaned. I did not need to know that Thea had an ass that could make practically any woman gay at this point.

*****

Three

The sight of Rachel laughing greeted me when I bounded off for breakfast on Sunday morning. She was sitting alone at the dining table, and the soft sound of her laugh as it faded into a smile had me stopping in my tracks, smitten by how beautiful she looked in the morning light.

She wore a dark blue top that seemed to make her light blue eyes a bit darker as well as it twinkled with mirth. She held a cup of coffee in her hand and was about to take a sip when her gaze drifted towards me, and I knew I had to say something quick to deflect from the fact that I had been gawking.

Act normal. Just go over there and say 'Good morning'! Fucking breathe, dumbass! My brain screamed at me in quick succession over the next few seconds until I finally moved.