All Comments on 'Unexpected Present'

*****I like your storytelling style. That was a very enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.

very enjoyable, i hope theres more chapters coming to this story

It's a fun story with an interesting twist. Just a note though for any aspiring Romeos who are reading this story... it is NEVER a good idea to give a gift of lingerie to a woman you are dating unless you already have a sexual relationship. If you haven't already seen her naked, then giving her lingerie is a really bad idea..

Attractive mature women, married or not, deserve to experience a young lover taking care of their fantasies

Nice story. Somehow have him make up with Liz. Then he can tell his mom he is banging 2 women.

the only minor complaint i had , it was very predictable , from very early in the story , but with that said it was still well written easy to follow apart from collecting a Dozen MUMS from the garden nursery , i presume MUMS are a variety of plants , or was it s total misprint .Either way thankyou for the time you give to wright for us the readers ,

What a fun ending.

Well, the mature category kind of gave it away... Poor Liz! I wanted that relationship to work. Made me sad. Really.

I'm in agreement with anonymouses, try and explain to explain to a not very understanding Liz and bang his cougar neighbor all she wants. OH buy Liz a make up gift, a nice flannel

Good story!

5

You struggle with keeping everything in the past tense both in this story as well as your other ones.

“Today Martha was going to add some geraniums to the front planter. She slipped on her gardening gloves…”

The problem with this sentence is simply that it wasn’t ‘today’ but was a day in the remote past. You described many events over many days since that first day of the story. To correct things you could have written “On that day…” or you could have simply left the word ‘today’ out altogether. I strongly recommend you obtain the help of an editor or a beta reader to clean up your stories which are otherwise fairly intriguing.

Fun story but still no grandkids for his mother.