Unforeseen

Chelsea, being the good sister that she was, eventually must have spoken to Mom, who was of course newly attentive to her children. Then, she, in turn, got her bright idea to force us to talk to each other.

And that's how the end of my story begins.

I didn't want to do it, but Mom made me. God that makes me seem so immature, but it was true.

"I don't know why you're being so difficult about this. You know that I really can't make it, or I'd love to pick up your sister."

Unlike many prior nights, this was true. Mom had an out-of-town meeting with a client that she could be fired for missing and wouldn't return until a day after Mary arrived. I could tell she felt guilty about it. It had only been about four months, but Mom had made a lot of lifestyle changes. Gone was the late-night partier who didn't have time for her children, and in her place was someone who both tried to be a good mother to me (better late than never) and more impressively, was there for Chelsea and her mother as well.

Rebecca was still in physical therapy, and occasionally needed a wheelchair when the pain got too severe. Sometimes she was in such deep grief for her husband that she had trouble functioning. She did everything that she could for her daughter, but it was clear that sometimes, the pain and sadness just were too much. At those times, Mom would be there to help drive Chelsea to school or pick her up or just have her over for the night. I still filled in as big brother, but it wasn't like the days when Rebecca was still in the hospital, and I had almost been a single father to her.

For my part, I took a lot of classes. I joined a gaming club. I worked out harder than I had ever before. I did everything I could to avoid thinking about Mary or start dating again. I'm sure I looked fine, but I felt as fragile as antique china. It was bad enough that I was seriously thinking of a way that I could be out of town for Christmas just to prevent me from seeing her again, as much as I wanted to. I couldn't figure out a way to do that without also breaking Chelsea's heart as well.

Chelsea had been clingy. Not just to me, but to her mom. I know that she called Mary almost daily, which was probably good for both of them. They'd always gotten along. I hung out with her a few times a week, and if I were even five minutes late, I'd get a panicky text. It wasn't hard to see that there was a part of her that was afraid that I'd go out like her father, suddenly and without warning. If she was an adult, I might have been annoyed, but she was still in mourning, and I wouldn't do anything to upset her further. No, it was settled, I'd have to be around for Christmas even if that brought me into close contact with Mary.

And that brought me to the second issue. Picking my sister up.

"She took an uber home from dad's funeral. She can do that again."

"What is the matter with you, TK? You and Mary used to get along so well. Even Chelsea's noticed that you two aren't talking. Did you have a fight?"

Gee mom, we just haven't gotten along since we started sleeping together, had a really intense love affair, and then Mary broke my fucking heart. I don't really know what to do about it, could you maybe give me some advice?

"People change."

"Well, that may be true, but I know you still care about her, right? Or don't you love your big sister anymore?"

Yes, I do. That's part of the problem, really.

"Of course I do. Come on, it's not that, it's just..."

"Look, whatever is going on, that's your business, but I can think of two excellent reasons why you're going to pick her up."

"And those might be?"

"One, she asked, and that should be enough. And two, that man committing the robberies is still out there."

I suppressed a laugh at the second part. There was someone (or more likely several people) out there who'd been ripping off liquor stores and doing the occasional mugging, but it was still vanishingly rare compared to any given big city. The opioid epidemic hit our little suburban county too, and the crime rates had spiked a little. But even so...if I chose not to pick her up, and somethingdid happen to her? I would never be able to live with myself.

"All right, fine. Just give me the flight information, and I'll do it, ok."

"I knew you would. Would you consider forgiving her, too?"

My heart dropped in my chest.

"What? Forgive her for what?"

"For whatever you're holding a grudge about. I know I haven't been a good mother, but I know you. I know that you've been hurt somehow and that you blame your sister. I'm not saying you're wrong and I don't need to know the situation. I just want my children to be happy. And so does your younger sister, by the way."

It was dirty to invoke Chelsea's name like that, but I understood.

So, that was why I found myself at the airport waiting for Mary, full of both dread and anticipation.

* * *

I was in the cell-phone parking lot, waiting with a lot of people in minivans and SUVs, trying to get my breathing under control. I was angry. I was sad. I was even a little happy. After all, even if she would never love me the way I needed her to, at least we could try to be friendly, right?

Right?

I wasn't sure, but enough time had passed that I was willing to try at least. I had resolved in any case not to embarrass myself by attempting to get back together with her. I couldn't handle rejection like that again.

The other resolution, which I had barely admitted even to myself, was that if being near Mary was too painful, then I'd start looking at transfers to out-of-state colleges. Preferably on the west coast. No need to be close to that which hurt me if I didn't have to be. Chelsea and Mom could come to visit me if they wanted to.

My phone buzzed, and I jumped. I had been lost in my own melancholy and anxious thoughts, but I was back in reality now. I read the text message. It was simple but confusing.

I just got my bags, and I'm waiting outside. <3

I took a deep breath, put the car in drive, and pulled out of the lot. I was in the pickup area in a matter of minutes. There she was.

Goddammit.

I thought I was prepared. I was not.

Her hair was very short (which looked great on her) and she'd put on a little weight (which did things to me that I did not want to admit), but there was no way I could miss the way she held herself. Or her smile as she waved me over to her. I pulled up and hopped out of the car, eager to get her bags loaded before the ever-present airport cops started to yell at me. She surprised me, though, by hugging me first. For a moment, I lost all control of myself and stood there stunned. Then she let me go and smiled up at me. I remembered how to move and threw her bags in the trunk while she got in out of the cold. Soon we were pulling away, into the night and the nebulous conversation on the way home.

For about a minute we were silent. I wasn't trying to be mean or cold to Mary. Despite my mental preparations for this moment, I had no idea what to say. My mind was blank, and my emotions were too confused to understand. I was pretty much lost. I was glad she spoke up because I could at least respond.

"Thanks for picking me up. I didn't know if you would, no matter what mom said."

I decided to go with honesty.

"I wasn't really sure about it, to be honest. But I couldn't really deny mom's logic."

"You mean about the 'dangerous crime' in the city right now?"

Mary laughed.

"I think mom is a little overly concerned about it, too, but if anything happened... Well, in any case, I wanted to see you."

"Did you?"

There was a lot of feeling in those two words, but I couldn't have told you what they were. I glanced at Mary, and her gaze was inscrutable to me.

"Yeah. Maybe I'm pathetic, but in the end, I really did want to see you. Otherwise, your ass would be in an uber."

Mary laughed again. God how I'd missed that. Then she hit me in the arm, playfully. I thought about her hands on my back, my cock, around my neck. I forced my mind back on the road, with some effort.

"I'm glad. I really wanted to see you again, too. I was worried that you wouldn't even be here for Christmas. I...I wouldn't have blamed you, you know. I would have been sad, but I would have understood."

"I thought about that too. There was too much drama down that road. And...I also didn't want to hurt you. I'm sorry about cutting you off. I just didn't know..."

"Don't apologize. You did what was healthy for you. I was sad, but I understood. I shouldn't have reached out to you that early, anyway. I don't know what I was thinking."

We were silent again for a little while. It was less tense but more melancholy. Mary again broke the silence.

"I did what was healthy for me, too. I went to therapy."

"Really?"

"Really. I talked about my insecurities, my fears. I talked about us."

I'd like to tell you how calm I was, but the truth was I swerved the car just a bit as my head jerked up.

"Wait. I'm sorry. Not like, the specifics or things that could embarrass you. I talked about everything but us being brother and sister. I told her that I got so jealous and possessive. And that, in the end, I broke up with you."

"What did she say?"

"She didn't really tell me to do anything. Not about specific situations, anyway. She did help me to stop and think about what I was afraid of and how I was letting those fears hurt myself as well as people around me. I was so insecure, and I never needed to be. It was my own damage, from the way we were raised. I had a hard time thinking anyone could really love me, especially someone as great as you. I learned how to look at things more calmly and rationally, how to feel fear without letting it determine my actions. God, it sounds cheesy when I just say it out loud like that."

"It does kind of make you sound like a padawan."

She laughed.

"Shut up. I'm trying to apologize."

I felt my expression harden.

"You might try."

"But?"

"I'm not sure I'm ready to forgive you. Maybe I never will be."

I heard her swallow nervously and it hurt. I was still angry and confused, but I loved her. I wasn't going to admit that, though.

"That's...that's fair, TK. I just...I don't...fuck."

She was crying now. With other people, I might have thought it was manipulation, but with Mary, I knew it was just emotion. I waited patiently and kept my eyes on the road. Eventually, she controlled herself.

"I...I want us to be together again, TK. I know how that sounds, but I can't stop feeling the way that I do. It *hurt* to be separated from you, and it never stopped. I worried about you and thought about you all the time. Especially when I...you know. I felt like a creep, but I had to ask Mom and Chelsea about you. I needed to know that you were ok. And you weren't, and it broke my heart. I don't expect you to agree with me or to let me back into your heart. I just...I want a chance to repair things. Even if its just back to the way things were. I'd rather be 'just' your sister than nothing to you."

I stayed silent for a long time. I was thinking, yes, but I was being petty and cruel as well. I could feel Mary's tension. Her fear of complete or partial rejection. I wanted her to suffer as I had. I wanted more of her tears. I wanted to hear her beg. I'm not proud of it. I ended up just telling the truth, which I guess was harsh enough.

"I don't know, Mary. I've spent months wondering if I was just broken in some way. Like I didn't have any real value. If I hadn't had classes and friends to talk to and helping out with Chelsea and Rebecca, I would have lost my mind. I think about you all the time and its a confusing fucking mess of affection and anger. I'm not sure I'm even really capable of forgiving you. Or if I want to."

There was a long break.

"Oh."

There was so much angst in that one word. So much sorrow and grief and loss. If I still had any thoughts that Mary left me for any reason other than caring about me, they vanished. I was still hurt, though.

"Look. I'll try, ok? I know it doesn't sound like much, but...I'm not going to avoid you while you're here. I'll talk things over with you, and...and we'll see. It's the best I can do."

"TK...that's...that would be wonderful. I mean...I wasn't even sure if you would listen to me, much less spend time with me. I'll take what I can get, and if you have anything you need to say to me, no matter how awful you think it is, I want you to say it."

Without thinking, I reached out and took her smaller hand in mine. It was sweaty and trembled a little, but she squeezed it and didn't let go.

I felt my resolve falter as I again thought about the way that hand had felt on my cheek, my cock, and even my throat. My sincere and continuing desire for my sister was proving inconvenient for my stoic exterior.

I might have denied it, but I knew how this night would end. Or at least I thought I did.

* * *

When we arrived home, Mom wasn't home yet. I hadn't expected her to be. I texted her that I had picked up Mary and that we had both arrived safely, knowing that she would worry if I didn't. I carried Mary's bag in the house, which made her eyebrows raise, but she said nothing.

As soon as I heard the front door close behind me, I felt it coiling inside me like a snake. Lust. I still loved Mary, it was true, and I wanted to forgive her. God help me. I wanted it more than anything.

The fact that I hadn't had sex in months and was now alone with the woman that I wanted more than anything in the world also weighed heavily on my mind.

I decided to clear it by being somewhat hospitable.

"Are you hungry? There are leftovers, but they're a few days old. Or I could make you something?"

"Hmm. I don't really feel good about making you cook for me, TK. You can go to bed if you want. I'll find something."

"No, I said that I wouldn't avoid you, and I was serious. Pancakes?"

Mary smiled at me. She looked so free. I felt a little more of my resolve slip away.

"Only if you let me help make them."

It was my turn to smile. We used to love cooking together when we were in high school but never really got the chance anymore.

We started simply, making the batter. There wasn't much for two people to do so she measured the ingredients, and I mixed them. We kept brushing up against each other. The kitchen wasn't large, so we couldn't help it, but neither of us shied away from the contact. We had our own recipe that each of us knew by heart.

It didn't take us long to have a stack of too many pancakes in front of us, syrup and butter at the ready. I have to admit, I have always loved breakfast at dinner.

We sat down and ate our pancakes in silence. I felt my foot touch hers under the table. We reached for the syrup at the same time and brushed fingers, then smiled bashfully at one another, like we were kids on a first date. No matter how hard I tried to put things behind me, I was still as hard as a rock.

Soon, we'd both eaten as much as we wanted. We locked eyes. It was a moment that almost broke me. Mary looked away first, biting her lip. I was grateful. I decided to be gallant.

"I'll do the dishes if you want to go and get ready for bed."

That was when it happened. It was so small and natural. Something we'd each done a million times as children. But not in this context.

Mary was silently looking at my hand. I was confused until I saw a small dab of syrup on it. Before I could clean it, she'd reached out and wiped it up with a single finger. Then, as I watched, she slowly inserted it into her mouth and sucked it off. Goddamn it.

"Fuck the dishes," I said, without thinking. We both stood up more or less at once and moved towards the stairs. We didn't make it before we were all over each other, kissing and caressing. Mary's hands were on my ass and mine were under her shirt, moving over her back. No bra, good. She whimpered as my hand found her pert breast. She tried to speak, doubtlessly to ask me if I was sure, but I shut her up with a much deeper, fierce kiss.

I felt her melt against me and knew that she would do whatever I wanted.

"All I've been able to think about is having you inside me," she whispered in my ear.

I put my hands under her ass and lifted. She giggled and wrapped her legs around me, both making it easier to carry her and harder to focus as she ground against me.

"I've missed that little monster you keep in your pants."

"Little?"

"Aw. He's more than big enough for me. Fuck, I need you, TK. I've needed you for months. I don't know what I was thinking, trying to stay away from you."

We both knew that Mary thought she'd been doing the right thing, and perhaps I should have been considering whether or not I was jumping back into things too quickly. The truth was that I needed her also. Missing her was like losing a part of me. Perhaps more thought and discussions and even some arguing were still required. They could all wait until after I'd given my sister the good hard fucking that she deserved.

We reached my room. I threw my sister onto the bed. She made a little surprised noise. All humor was forgotten she looked up at me, nothing but total desire in her eyes. She began immediately to unbutton her jeans. They were a little tight on her, and she had to shimmy a bit to get out of them which made the rest of her jiggle most appealingly. It was amazing how even the smallest things about her aroused me.

I cleared my head and took my own clothes off, letting my aching cock free. Mary finished taking her shirt off and was soon in nothing but panties. She locked eyes with me and hooking her thumbs in their waistband, pushed them off as well. God, she looked great. She had gained a little weight, but it was distributed to areas that I, uh, preferred. I could tell that there was some hesitancy in her posture, a worry that I might not want her. She held her hand out to me.

"No," I said, firmly.

She blinked her eyes, shocked. I could tell that she was hurt, which wasn't my intention.

"Turn around Mary. Get on all fours."

"Oh...oh of course...if that's what you want, TK. I'm yours."

As she did so, I took her in again. God what an amazing ass. And there was her lovely pussy, the cause of so much of my angst. It was swollen and wet. She'd trimmed her beautiful hair, so I smiled at her apparent hope that I'd be seeing it. As I knelt behind her, she spoke again, her voice shaky with want and need.

"I mean it. Not that I wouldn't have tried anything with you before but...now I'm yours. I decided that before I came home. I need to show you complete trust, the way you did when you let me ride you and...and choke you. So I guess what I'm saying, really badly, is that I'm not going to say no to you anymore."

Mary was rambling. It was true that she could trust me, and I never really wanted to hurt her, but I wasn't sure if that was the kind of devotion I wanted from her. If she had boundaries, I would respect them. I just didn't want her to break my heart again. I pushed the thoughts aside. They were for another time.

She jumped as she felt my wet warm tongue lapping at her entrance. I smiled and brought my arm around her leg so I could thumb her clit gently as I ate her out. She cried out.

"Fuck. TK...you don't need to...oh, fuck please, like that baby...I love you..."

I knew how she liked it, and I used slow, gentle licks to give her what she needed. The truth is that I believed that she hadn't had sex in a while, and no matter how turned on she was, I didn't want to force myself inside her. Plus I wanted to make her cum first.

I stopped lapping at her but continued to play with her clit. I inserted a finger inside of her, and she moaned, dropped onto her elbows and arched her back, like a good little girl who needed to be fucked deeply. On a whim, I decided that my tongue could still do some good. I began licking her tight little asshole as she cried out.