All Comments on 'Unmasked'

Weak. A lot can be read into this, but, just like Just Plain Bob, you didn’t finish the story. Leaving it up to the reader to imagine what they think will happen. You’ll lose a lot of potential readers if you don’t learn to finish the story. I guess with a name like yours, you will follow in JPB’s footsteps. Your loss. I was going to give it one star, except you actually write pretty good. So I gave it 2 stars. That’s the most for an unfinished story.

Interesting first story!

4

@HarleyRider1955, the clues are there.

First, lets look at the patient in rehab:

"As soon as I walked in the door for our third visit, he gave me the name I needed."

Next: "I fear my wife will see me without my mask."

If this guy, face down in his phone is "banging" the antagonist's wife, then he knows the potential for continuing along that path.

Is there a benefit to reading:

"Find another woman bruh... this ain't working out for you long-term. It might even prove mutually fatal."

So, did Tom somehow poison the guy’s coffee?

Anon, In answer to your question about the coffee, that is up to you to decide. I wrote this as a challenge piece to see how many different ways it could be rewritten. I’m giving everyone on here permission to take this scene and write a beginning, ending or whatever they like. I want you to tell me if he poisoned the coffee. How did he know about the two women? Or the college students? Take it and run with it. All I ask is you refer back to this story if you do and send me a link so I can check out what you came up with. Happy writing.

Too much short, just a very little piece of a possible good story, that in this form appears useless.

I read this after your follow-up, didn't think the follow-up added much.

10 Big Blazing Stars for this Story! Obviously the man that came in is a very cold blooded killer. Obviously he is very good at reading people and is excellent at playing mind games. If the guy with his face in his phone is screwing the other guys wife, he is certainly a dead man walking. I found this Story very fascinating, Actually reminding me of a Tom Cruz movie where he plays a 'hit man' and is very good at it. Walking Evil, is frightening if you ponder it. Just like "john wick" these killers are Killers because they are 'good at it' and not to be messed with. I can't conceive of an ending for this story beyond what the author has written. I loved it as written. Thanks Buster2U