Up the Farce

At the sound of the clasp clicking into place, the sister turned around to admire her ministry.

"Oh no, that is far too loose." She exclaimed. The metal waistband was currently around Honey's hips, clicked in place on the lowest setting. Sister Sparingly pulled it up, driving the toys deeper into Honey until it was at waist height, then pulled the clasp shut, tightening it to her waist where it constricted her, unyielding as her holes felt the churning of trapped rubber. There was a series of clicks as Honey gasped in shock and constriction.

"There we go, locked in place." Honey looked down and saw that the clasp had been closed with a padlock. "Now for your first night I'll keep the key, just to give you time to chase away the doubts, but you can have this. It is a remote control to give yourself a zap if you start having impure thoughts." Sister Sparingly was beaming as Honey shakily took the controls.

"Oh sister, this is too much, if you have agreed to not whip yourself and you don't have this belt, how are you going to keep your sinful thoughts at bay? I should just take this off and..." Honey pleaded as the nun handed back her work uniform for Honey to redress.

"Don't worry about me, if Jesus went for forty days in the desert with Satan tempting him I think I can last one night." Sister Sparingly implored. She was unaware that she wouldn't even last the next twenty minutes.

As Honey left room 25, Mr. Smevins was waiting outside.

"My goodness you're red in the face, you really laid down the law in there didn't you?"

"Something like that." Honey replied. "Have you finished your lunch?"

"Oh absolutely, it was delicious thanks" Mr. Smevins complimented. "Could you take the plates back down for me."

"Oh, sure."

Very little in the world made Honey angry, if Honey got angry it would usually be with herself for getting something wrong or letting someone down. But there was one injustice that provided a daily source of rage from Honey, a rage that intensified with her situation. Why the fuck is everyone so opposed to putting pockets on women's clothing? A man faced with having a remote control in his hand and a tray ladened with crockery to carry downstairs would stuff the remote in his pocket and carry on with his privileged day of earning more (on average) than a woman, possibly because he comes with more cargo space. Without pockets Honey had no choice but to place the remote on the tray with the Smevin's leftovers and washing-up.

Honey made her way to the stairs, her progress slowed by the churning of the sex toys locked into her holes. As she came down the stairs she saw another nun, in conversation with a man in a brown jacket who looked vaguely familiar to her.

"Ah, Honey is it?" The nun exclaimed, as she did the man in the brown coat took off like sister Destiny's voice was a starter's pistol, keeping his head down and barging past Honey. So roughly that Honey almost dropped the tray.

"Sorry!" Honey apologised even though Nigel had barged into her.

"Oh I do apologise on Officer Rockard's behalf, we needed somewhere out of the way for our liaison." Sister Destiny explained. Honey heard the name Officer Rockard and a quiet liaison and made a disastrous assumption.

"Well if you wish to have a liaison away from others that's what event room 1 is for." She stated trying her best to keep these cosplaying maniacs out of the way of the rest of the guests.

"You have a room for private liaisons? That's fantastic, next time I want to impress myself on Officer Rockard, we can go to event room 1 and I can really let him get on top of the situation, hold nothing back. That sounds like it would be most satisfactory." Sister Destiny gushed. Honey was not really ready to hear details but was glad another one of the sex club was happy and would be doing the dirty things away from the pious nuns.

On her way back to the kitchen to return the tray of dishes, Honey swung by her desk so she could drop off the remote somewhere safe. As she put down the tray and began to search it her face went whiter than a gold club owner's gender reveal party. The remote was nowhere to be found.

...

Eileen had finally managed to restore enough of her senses to realise she needed to clean herself up and take off the chastity belt until she could figure out where the remote was. The straggling nuns didn't put up much of an objection as she stumbled out of the room and began to crawl her way up the stairs. About half-way to her room she recognised a small remote control that looked incredibly familiar to her. She was not to know that this control had dropped off Honey's tray when Nigel pushed past her.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Eileen Quivered. Now that she had her remote she felt back in control. She could have a quick shower, change the batteries in her chastity belt, and then go back to her original plan of having the remote be a prize for people who win sex games of her choosing.

...

The afternoon was filled with uneventful fear for Honey. She was locked in a chastity belt with no idea who had the remote, plus at any moment that crazy sex club could demand she gets naked. Eileen managed to get back to the crazy sex club with plenty of game ideas in mind. Meanwhile Nigel spent the afternoon looking up what happens if you falsely put someone under citizen's arrest just to sleep with a room full of nuns.

Honey had wrangled it so at 6pm the nuns would have their dinner whilst the Daventry Swingers and Sex Games Association had asked for their food to be brought into the event room at 7pm. Honey was dreading finding out their plans for that but she was sure Davis would fill her in somewhere among the excess syllables. It was just before their evening meal that one of the nuns came to talk to Honey.

"Excuse me young lady, is it OK if we delay dinner by ten minutes? We've run a bit long and we would prefer to pray in the event room than disturbing your guests in the restaurant." The nun asked.

"Oh that will be OK." Honey replied, she had her mind on getting that key off Sister Sparingly so decided to take a risk to make sure she could corner her. "In fact, would it be possible to join your prayer circle?"

"Oh my, well of course, we are always welcoming." The nun responded. Honey walked with the nun to the event room with plans to sit next to Sister Sparingly and plead with her for the key. She got into the room and her frustration almost boiled over when she couldn't find Sister Sparingly anywhere in the room. Dejectedly she took her seat and began to pray as genuinely as the nuns around her.

...

Sister Sparingly had not left her room since she had handed Honey the chastity belt. The sight of Honey in the belt had awakened something in her, usually when these feelings awakened, locking away her sex and giving herself a good whipping would calm her down, but she couldn't lock away her sex and the whippings, if anything, just made the feelings stronger. She had clamped her hand over her pussy in frustration but the slightest rub was enough for a decade of orgasm denial to cascade over the sex obsessed nun. She screamed herself to an overwhelming orgasm, the pleasures of her flesh new and intense. After such an intense orgasm Sister Sparingly had little else on her mind and as Honey entered the prayer circle, Sister Sparingly was still in her room, ignoring the rapidly forming blisters on her fingers.

...

Honey would have been willing to run away and join a convent right there and then if God could just provide a way out of this situation.

"Jesus Christ!" Honey yelled, raising heads in the prayer circle as the motors of her chastity belt sprung to life.

"Yeah, you have complete control of my chastity belt." Eileen announced next door, handing the control over to a sticky but victorious man, who immediately started pressing buttons.

"Oh holy mother of God!" Honey yelped as she gripped the table to brace herself against the ever increasing vibrations in her holes.

"Oh she's praying in the same way as that American nun." Sister Destiny observed as Honey shrieked with the first of many electric shocks delivered to her insides.

Next door the man was covertly pressing buttons on the remote and getting upset that Eileen didn't seem to be responding.

"Playing it cool eh, well let's see if you can pretend nothing is happening if I turn everything to max."

"Oh Jesus fucking christ!" Honey yelled as she collapsed to the floor as her pussy became more and more intensely punished. "Jesus Christ, oh Jesus Christ, fuck!" Honey felt orgasms begin to rise from deep inside her and once again the Nuns mistook delirious orgasmic gibbering for speaking in tongues.

It took a good 20 seconds at full power for the man next door to realise that Eileen wasn't playing it cool and instead the remote must be broken. So he put it to one side and went to tell Eileen, while Honey collapsed into a quivering mess that didn't stop until the batteries ran dead.

"I never realised how widely known this new form of praying is." One of the nuns exclaimed as they nonchalantly filed out of the room to go have their dinner.

It took every ounce of strength Honey had to stand up and get back to her duties. She staggered to the kitchen to fetch the trolley of food for the swingers. The chef was uninterested in her flustered face, he just had to finish this huge order and he could spend the rest of the evening repurposing the whipped cream dispensers in a way that helped him forget his woes. She wheeled out a tray that was disproportionately puddings and tried not to think about the plans the group had for them.

The moment Honey walked into the room, there was a stampede of naked people running to her trolley, grabbing whatever main course they could find. With cheers and curses ringing out throughout the crowd.

"My dear Honey I do apologise I should explain." Davis exclaimed once the mad rush had calmed down. "You may be aware that the number of main courses we have ordered was insufficient for the number of participants in our weekend merrymaking. Well this was by design, we decided that there should be precisely ten fewer meals than people, and that those unable to secure themselves adequate human consumables will instead be availing themselves of dog food. They will of course not have access to such until they are wearing naught but a dog collar and are prepared to eat said meal out of a dog bowl without their hands. Of course in such a prostrated position their back ends are completely exposed to the winner's machinations. Would you like to dine with use this evening?"

"No thank you." Honey replied without allowing the question to linger for a single microsecond.

"Oh darn that is a pity. After all you are currently without a meal and we have a spare dog bowl and collar." Davis pressed, as if the promise of humiliation was somehow sweetening the deal for Honey, whose most adventurous sexual escapade before this weekend was being on top because her then boyfriend was too tired.

"Very tempting but I'm afraid I can't leave my post, maybe next time." She stammered, quickly backing out of the room so as to not be tricked into something worse. As Honey left the room Davis turned his attention to a curious occurrence during the game.

"Madam president, it seems you will be in a greatly reduced stature during our evening meal." Davis acknowledged.

"Uh yeah, guess I wasn't fast enough." Eileen replied.

"One tends not to be when one is hiding behind the door." Davis noted, sending a chill down Eileen's spine, more dreadful than the dog food bowl being prepared for her at that moment.

Honey got back to her desk and collapsed into her chair, she just needed five minutes of nothing happening to collect herself, then she would need enough coffee to invigorate the economies of several South American countries.

"Excuse me, miss." Came Smevins' weasley voice.

"Good afternoon Mr. Smevins, how can I help?" Honey groaned in a distant monotone.

"I'm afraid you're going to need to have another talk with the woman in number 25. The whipping noises have stopped, but now she has been screaming and cursing for the whole afternoon." Honey didn't object, didn't fight back, didn't even offer polite platitudes, she simply grunted as she willed her body to trudge back upstairs.

The whole hallway could hear the screams coming from Sister Sparingly's room, she was lucky that the only inhabitant not downstairs praying was Mr. Smevins. Honey gave the door a knock and after some bangs and crashes of a disorganised nun grabbing clothing from her bag the fallen sister opened the door a crack.

"Well if it isn't my newest friend, come in, I have wonderful news." The Sister announced opening the door wide for Honey.

"Err, yeah. I'm eager to hear it but first..."

"Oh yes, first you will be wanting that dreadful chastity belt removed won't you?" The Sister asked, not waiting for Honey's response as she lunged at her, lifting up her skirt. She put the key into the lock, loosened the belt and slowly eased the protrusions out of Honey's punished holes. Honey was happy to be free of the belt but was less happy about the joy with which Sister Sparingly was witnessing what the belt had left behind. After a moment that lasted far too long for Honey's comfort, the sister tossed the belt to one side.

"Now my most recent discovery. The true depth of God's love for us, for he has created a joy of joy here on this earth. To think all those years I denied myself the fruits of his creation but look..." the sister threw aside her robes and stood naked in front of Honey, whip marks covering her body, her pussy raw and pulsing, and an insane desire in her eyes that would make you think twice before touching her rosaries. Honey tried to turn away for the sake of modesty but Sister Sparingly was having none of that.

"Do not avert your eyes child, look! Look at one of God's glorious creations, fulfilled through pleasures of the flesh he gave me."

"Sister I understand that you have been enjoying your... theological discovery, but you are being too loud." Honey admonished.

"Oh pish posh, this floor is booked out for the conference and all my friends are downstairs praying for God to protect them from the gift he gave them."

"Not everyone, Mr. Smevins in room 26 has been struggling to relax with the sound of your... prayer." Honey splurged, immediately regretting bringing Mr. Smevins into this.

"My word, I had no idea I was inconveniencing another, how selfish of me. I shall go and apologise to this Mr. Smevins immediately." The Sister announced.

Honey's sleep deprived brain was a beat behind everything, her thought process delayed through a biological buffering that resulted in the following stream of consciousness "Shit! I shouldn't have mentioned Mr. Smevins, I need to sleep, nevermind she's going to go apologise to him, that's good, I really need to sleep. Did she just leave the room without putting clothes on? Shit!" By the time Honey's brain had kicked into gear and pushed her to leave the room, the naked nun was already knocking on the door of number 26. Mr. Smevins opened the door and pulled every muscle in his face conveying fear, shock, happiness, arousal and confusion all at the same time.

"Mr. Smevins." Sister Sparingly announced. "I have been informed that my selfish hoarding of God's creation has been disturbing you. As recompense please ravish my holy pussy or ass as you see fit."

"...won't you please come in?" Mr. Smevins quipped, trying to maintain an air of calm. Honey blinked and was suddenly stood alone in a hall echoing with the sounds of passionate lovemaking. She groaned and went downstairs with dreams of caffeine.

"Excuse me, miss!" Davis cried out while Honey was two steps away from the coffee maker. "Sorry to disturb you but I have a question." Honey wondered if she could get in a nap sometime between the beginning and end of this question, which she assumed would take at least 20 minutes.

"I was wondering if you were at all acquainted with a lady who goes by the moniker Eileen Dover?" Davis asked, undeterred by Honey's flickering sleepy eyelashes.

"There's Eileen Fairchild, her and her husband own this place." Honey slurred.

"Does she look like this?" Davis asked uncharacteristically bluntly while holding up a photograph of Eileen on his phone.

"Yeah, that's her." Honey replied increasingly less sure she wasn't dreaming. Davis skipped away with his new-found knowledge as Honey began to nap.

...

Davis re-entered the conference room and immediately asked Eileen to join him at the front of the room.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm afraid I have a tragic announcement. I have just discovered that our esteemed president has broken one of the cardinal rules upon entry to our club. Admission to the Daventry Swingers and Sex Games Association for married people is contingent on their spouse also wishing to join, membership of a half a married couple is strictly forbidden. Our esteemed president is indeed married, she and her husband own the very hotel we stand in." The gathered swingers muttered among themselves while Eileen stared on in horror. Davis brought on stage the rulebook that he, and only he, had read cover to cover, and began to read directly from it.

"The punishment for breaking any rules laid out above is at the discretion of the president except in such a case when the president has been found to be in contravention of the rules, at which point the treasurer must decide the appropriate punishment." Eileen pleaded with Davis not to be too mean but Davis had thought this all through before re-entering the room.

"Madam president will be allowed to continue her erstwhile membership of our association, she may even keep the title of president. However bi-annually, that is twice a year rather than once every two years, we will hold one of our salubrious events here at her hotel, free of charge naturally, and while we are present at her establishment she cannot disobey one of our orders or we'll invite her staff in to observe the calibre of woman whose employment they currently under." Eileen shot daggers at Davis, unfortunately for her they were only metaphorical and thus ill equipped to deal with the situation she was in.

"Naturally with this information fresh in our minds, we have not yet had a chance to make plans of how to use it. So until we do so how about you go wait for us in the men's lavatories? You may wear your habit and a domino mask to hide your identity but nothing else. And should any gentleman enter said lavatory you are to immediately and without question give him oral sex, do I make myself clear?" Eileen was no stranger to extreme sex games and so although she did not enjoy the threat hanging over her head she was remarkably calm about her order. She nodded, put on her habit and a mask before slowly creeping out of the event room door.

She peeked into the reception area and saw Honey asleep at her desk, a lapse in professionalism she wouldn't usually tolerate but was happy to see as she ran past the front desk. The toilets in the Happy Customer were by the restaurant, currently filled with nuns eating their dinner. Eileen crept up to the doorway and snuck a glance inside.

Inside the restaurant there was a commotion. Sister Destiny had been stewing in her emotions all day and, to the shock of the other nuns, had ordered a bottle of wine with her meal. The nuns were currently trying to talk her out of the sinful action she was planning which gave Eileen the opportunity to sneak into the men's toilets and await her fate.

...

Honey awoke to the phone ringing, she had no idea how long she had been out but she knew she needed coffee. As she reached for the phone it stopped ringing. She checked the call log and it looked like room 26 wanted something but they could wait until her coffee is done. Honey returned to her desk to see Mr. Smevins there looking like he had just cock slapped a lion into a coma.