Used and Abused in Shame Ch. 03

In my ears I continued to hear I had myself to blame, this was my life now, I was not a human but a thing, a toy, something that men can and would use for their pleasure.

And an orgasm began to build. It was impossible to resist. The dildo and the whipping forced me to cum. The pain contributed to my arousal. My whole body vibrated and I couldn't defend myself. The orgasm washed over me so hard I almost lost my breath.

When I calmed down the whipping had ended but the dildo penetration continued and my sore body started to accepted it. I yelled to myself in my ball gag:

"Now you must stop cuming whore."

I wanted to ask them to turn everything off. The dildo, the plug and my body:

"Turn me off, turn my pussy off."

It went on and on for an eternity.

Finally, I must have passed out because the next thing I remembered was silence and the timed padlocks holding my wrists had opened. But the dildo and butt plug vibrated with full force. I tried to get the belt off but they had fixed it somehow, so I didn't manage to open it. I had to break free first before I could get them out.

Still, I had the presence of mind not to rip my hood off. The camera was probably still broadcasting. I had a routine for breaking free. I had done that many times but I didn't get far before the next orgasm washed over me and I lay there panting for a while before I could continue.

Once free, I rolled out of bed and out of the picture before I took off the hood and took out the ball gag.

I was now able to close my mouth for the first time in at least five hours with sore jaws. Then I took the earphones out. With trembling fingers, I managed to loosen the belt and finally got out the anal plug and dildo. It was a relief. But it was quickly replaced by emptiness. I was empty and what was I when I was empty?

I crawled over to the camera and pulled the plug. Now, finally, I could be sure it wasn't being broadcasting. I looked around. Was I alone? I couldn't see anyone and there where little trace of the men who had been there.

I continued into the bathroom and stood up on shaky legs in front of the mirror. I didn't know what I expected. My body looked like it had been in a tumble dryer. Everywhere there were marks of hands and whips.

The text I had written on myself remained. The leather hood had protected the face so there were no marks even though I got slapped really hard. I was sore everywhere but my breasts, jaw, ass hole and pussy were the worst. Anywhere I touched it hurt.

I looked at my scarred body. Even though I no longer had a voice in my head, the words rang in my head. I read what was written on me, what I wrote on myself:

RAPE MY CUNT

I'M RAPE MEAT

DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH ME

PUNISH ME

HURT ME

USE ME

I'M A FUCK TOY

I'M WORTHLESS

I'M JUST A SET OF HOLES

I'M A SLUT

I DID THIS TO MYSELF

Everything in the writing had happened. Everything was true. This was me. That was how I was now. My old self had ceased to exist and was replaced by this pathetic fuck doll I saw in front of me in the mirror. And it was me, no one else, who had made it happen.

Without wanting it myself, a hand found its way down to my pussy and I started to masturbate. And when I did, I hit myself in the face with the other hand. I spat in my hand and smeared it out in my face. I stared into the mirror and looked myself in the eye and screamed:

"YOU ARE NOTHING. YOU ARE COMPLETELY WORTHLESS. YOU ARE ONLY A THING WHO CAN BE USED AND LEFT. JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT. GIVE THIS WORTHLESS FUCK DOLL AWAY IF ANYONE WANTS IT."

Then I came, collapsing on the cold floor, trembling and crying.