All Comments on 'Vampire Civilization Ch. 05'

Does the garbage has a fifth chapter??? Unbelieve this stuff is post here

I feel like this could be a good story, if it was actually a story, instead of a summary of events taking place. Like this "Ch 05" alone felt like it could have been a whole book, or at least half a book with how much plot is here. Same with Ch 04 and all the others. Felt like each chapter could have been 10,000 to 30,000 words worth of story, instead of these little disjointed snippets.

You might consider taking the time to flesh out the story, flesh out the characters, flesh out the relationships, and try to develop a full story-line. Nothing feels realistic because it all moves way too fast. There's no setting of the scene for this chapter, no real description of where they are or how they got there, and it just feels like these characters just appear onto the page with no real introduction of who they are (like they just appear out of thin air, since you didn't mention them existing previously).

Don't get me wrong, you have some interesting ideas, but from what I can tell, almost everything you post is a little summary "idea" of a story (just the summary of an idea), instead of an actual story itself. And reading it feels like I'm reading someone's brainstormed idea of a story they might want to write, rather than any actual story itself.

Basically, I think you should consider putting more love and time into these writings you post and actually describe full scenes step-by-step, rather than quick summaries.