All Comments on 'Vegas Baby'

Lots of promise for a first story and I enjoyed reading it. Do take the practice of proofreading your own stories after you have 'finished'. Wait a few days and read it slowly to pick up any word issues. In this story your pronouns got mixed up a few times and you had the people in the other bed interacting with you, etc. You would have spotted that on a careful re-read. OR, avail yourself of one of the free Beta Readers who would be pleased to give it a first read and identify issues while you can still fix them. DO keep em coming!

Sometimes it is better not to comment.

Not my type of anniversary.

This was rape.

Sometimes it's better not to comment. How right you are. The "garbage" is knee deep in loving wives.

Dude - get an editor. Were there four or five people? Where did Mac fit in?

Really poor punctuation made it tough to follow who was talking and thinking. Quotation marks should not be used for nonverbal thoughts.

In a nutshell, get an editor. Nothing wrong with the story but poor execution ruined it.

Way to prove your marriage was nothing but an excuse to play dress-up for a few hours. Disgusting.

Wait, were they really acquaintances from college or not? Was this all a setup with professionals that the wife planned? Not clear, so 2 stars

Sounds like someone brought a case of herpes simplex home from the Vegas trip.

Damn

Bullshit tale. Happy anniversary my ass. Fuck it.

no rating

Well heres hoping you're a one and done.

That was a stupid mess, half the time it made no sense, I had to reread things twice and still not get what the hell you were trying to convey.

I cant even give this an "A" for effort, Were you drunk when writing it? Perhaps sniffing the fumes from a Trump fans outhouse? Either way you fell far short of a good story, or even decent writing.

After 5 years this couple are in a rut and bored with each other? Maybe they should hsve got to know each better first...I can't see this marriage lasting much longer.

WAAC so the wife sets him up so she can get a glorious fuck... He was basically raped - by his slut wife. Of course he should arrange for her to work at the bunny ranch for a while - so she can get all her jollies. If it was me I'd have gotten up and beat the crap out of Darin then after figuring out my soon to be ex-wife's setup I'd have left her sorry ass and arranged a divorce asap.

I knew a guy that hated Vegas because he snd his childhood sweetheart that were on there 30 anniversary decided to do Vegas as a trip to feel younger again. They drank partied and on last night really drunk went to a strip joint. That sat with a group of 3 couples anc two single guys in various ages. They joked and had fun with them and they had a limo for car service and asked if they wanted to join them at the club in there hotel, which they did . More drinks and pot was passed around which they did but hadn’t since they were teens. The girls all pulled out extacy and sll took it as the party went to there giant suite. It went to an all out orgy. A drunken drug fueled orgy . He said his wife was fucked all night as was he but it didn’t hit him until waking sober with a strange woman blowing him and a few feet away his wife was getting dped by two younger huge cocks . He said he was devestated but they did it . Got dressed saying goodbye. The older couple thanked them and said how great it was to meet and fuck a new couple as they were part of a swingers group. He said as they were talking the guy pressed his wife shoulders and said I need this mouth one more time , she sucks a dick like no other. He said how he loved fucking her ass last night . This guy finally said this was a fucked up drunk mistake and enough already. . The guy apologized and said I’m just about done and shoots in his wife’s mouth and say swallow that up . They left in silence went packed up flew home as no hardly spoke at a LLC the whole day . He said the marriage was hanging by s thread and this was s year and a h as of later. The wife was sick of it , said it happened they were drunk and drugged up and didn’t remember most but he keeps going back to the morning with yhrr Ed dp and blow job . He can’t get it out of his head . He hardly stays hard when they fuck and she’s always mad at him . Crazy but true story

Yes the anniversary gift that keeps on giving what did she end up with AIDS Happy Anniversary Bitch

Please learn how to use speech marks!